Tuesday, May 26, 2009
The batteries for my MP3 player died 90 seconds into my walk this morning. I actually contemplated turning around and going home. I mean, walking without music? What on earth was I supposed to do?
I didn't turn around. I looked up and listened.
Usually when I am walking and listening to my tunes, my eyes are cast down... watching the road so I don't trip and break my leg. I am consumed with my music and oblivious to the world around me. This morning? I had nothing to occupy my brain except my thoughts.
I was astounded with how noisy it is at 6:30 in the morning. Usually all I hear are my various imaginary boyfriends singing to me... this morning I heard so many other things.
The crunch crunch crunch of my shoes on the gravel, and the jingling of bells from the necks of goats in the nearby pasture. The swishing of the horses tails, and their snorting at me as I passed by. There was the occasional whirring of the passing biker or the pounding feet of the jogger "passing on your right".
Crunch crunch crunch of my shoes as I heard the ba-donk ba-donk ba-donk of the cars on the interstate veering to far to the right and the whistle of the commuter train as it whizzed past. There was the mooing of a cow waking up, and the distant hum of an airplane overhead.
Crunch crunch crunch of my shoes as the roosters started to crow and the buzzing of a chainsaw sounded. I heard the Spanish being spoken by the construction workers and dogs barking. I heard the sprinklers giving the earth a drink and the rushing water in the creek.
The birds. My how loud they are! They sing such beautiful songs, this early in the morning...
I saw the farmer changing his water, and throwing a stick for his dog to chase. I saw you leaving for work this morning, and starting your car. I saw you stumbling out to get your paper, all bleary eyed and still asleep. I saw you looking out your window at me, watching me huff & puff by, drinking your morning drink. I saw the sun starting to peek its golden rays over the mountains.
I found myself caught up in my thoughts. For those 3o minutes of my shoes crunching on the gravel, I could hear whatever I chose to hear and see whatever I chose to see. For those 3o minutes I could be that famous singer that I fantasied about when I listened to my MP3 player. I could be that amazing writer that everyone talks about or THAT kind of mother that has endless adventures with her children and spouse and is always a joy to be around. For those 3o minutes of crunch time, my mind could trick me into seeing, hearing or believing anything.
As those last rays of sun started to shine over the mountains, and I could see the end of my journey in sight... What did I choose?
I choose to believe in me. And be happy.