Actual Conversation

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Jefe and I took the kids to stay in a Condo recently for a long weekend. It was a much needed relaxing weekend. We were a bunch of lazys-- laying around reading, sleeping... just vegging.

The condo was crazy Mac-Daddy nice! The bed was gigantic and fluffy. We decided after sleeping in that bed all weekend it was time to get us a Mac-Daddy bed too.

Apparently I took both sets of my keys and inadvertently left one in the condo. I had no idea until the owner of the condo called me to see if I wanted them back.

No. I'll let you keep them. Then you can come and stalk my family.

OF COURSE I want them back.


Condo Man: Motherboard? You left your keys in our condo. Would you like to get them back?

Me: I did? Holy Cow. Yes! I do want them back. Can I come and get them?

CM: I can mail them to you. Where do you live?

Me: 5768 Crazytown USA

CM: How serendipitous! (yes he did. He totally said that) I am going to be in Crazytown tomorrow night doing a presentation. Why don't you swing by the home I'll be at and pick them up then.

Me: Sure. What's the address?

CM: 3409 Crazytown USA. Do you know this person? Crazytown isn't that big. I'm from LA so nothing is as big as where I live.

Me: {bristling a bit} Uhh. It's pretty big and I have no idea who that is.

CM: What does your husband do for a living?

Me: {getting really irritated} He is a partner at a law firm.

CM: And what is your career?

Me: I'm a SAHM.

CM: {he launches into a LONG boring diatribe about a stupid MLM)

Me: Huh. Sounds like its been really good to you.

CM: Well. It's perfect for YOU. I mean you're JUST a stay at home mom, so you have TONS of time to do this. You could make a lot of money to help your family. I usually charge $100 to come and listen to me speak, but I'll let you come and hear me for free. Then after you sign up, I'll give you your keys.

**Crickets chirping. **


He was totally holding my keys hostage.

Come listen to the goon speak and I'll get my keys.

Avoid him like the plague and lose my keys.

Thank heavens Home Depot makes copies.

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16 monkeys jumping on the bed:

  1. Lara said...

    Yeah. I have no words.

    Oh the levels of sleaziness these MLM people will stoop to!

  2. Lt. Col. Samantha Carter said...

    Time to change the locks!

  3. MommyJ said...

    I am not a fan of multi level marketing... I HATE friends trying to guilt me into buying stuff and hate even more strangers pretending like they know what I need.

    I know, I know, it doesn't have to be that way, but there is always the potential for it to happen. I generally avoid such things all together.

  4. Barbaloot said...

    Wow--that took it to a whole new level. I never heard of someone twisting your arm THAT much to come hear them.

  5. Debbie / Cranberry Fries said...

    Not cool. On so many levels. A) JUST? whatever. B) It's your property. C) seriously? Ha.

    My husband was just telling me about all these friends finding him on fb and emailing him all of their 'you gotta try this out, the only catch is you gotta go sell it too' stuff. Lame.

  6. Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

    Wow, that is a whole new low. I think I'd have to politely ask him to just pop the keys in the mail. Or maybe speak to his supervisor. So unprofessional. I'm still kind of in shock that he had the nerve to do that!

  7. Just SO said...

    Seriously!? that is insane. I would be writing an email to the owner of that condo place and letting them know what he did. Or just have him mail them to you. Sheesh. I would have been po'd!!

  8. Migillicutty said...


    WOW!!!! That's jacked!

  9. Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

    LOl okay that is weird!

  10. Jillybean said...

    "JUST" a stay at home mom?


    I really hate when people think that just because you don't have a job outside of the home that you have "TONS" of time to do whatever they want you to do.

    You should have gone to the presentation just to beat him senseless.
    Oh, wait, he already is senseless.

  11. TheOneTrueSue said...


  12. M-Cat said... What gonads the dude has. Totally change the locks and get new keys.

  13. Jami said...

    What!?! Which one? I must know which one of the great pyramids he was hawking.

    What a psychopath! Change your locks. Yesterday.

  14. Amber Lynae said...

    Sometimes you really need the ability to reach through the phone and slap the person on the other end.

  15. 2busy said...

    I have to admit that is kind of creepy. Change your locks!

  16. tammy said...

    Wow. And he only charges $100 to come hear him talk. Worth every penny you have to pay to not hear him speak.