Friday, February 26, 2010
Me: (stumbling a bit) Uhh. Thanks? What great news?
Neighbor: Oh. You know. The news you're not sharing with anyone?
Me: No. I don't know what you mean... Are you talking about my conference?
Neighbor: No. The OTHER good news. You know, the news you are not telling everyone...
(wink wink. nudge nudge. say no more, say no more.)
Me: I have no idea what you are talking about.
Neighbor: (sigh) Your new baby. Thing 2 has told the entire neighborhood that you're pregnant.
Neighbor: Now. Don't get mad. He's just excited. He said he hopes you're going to have a brother because he hates being the lone boy in the family.
Me: WHAT?? I'm... WHAT?? Seriously. WHAT THE CRAP?? He told everyone? Really?
Neighbor: yeah. When is it due?
Me: Umm. Like, oh, I don't know. Maybe around the date of NEVER! I'm totally not pregnant.
Neighbor: You're not? Really? Are you sure?
Me: Really. I'm 100% sure I'm not pregnant. I just started my question mark. I'm totally sure I'm not having a baby. Why would he SAY THAT?
Neighbor: Well, he said you parked in the "Expecting Mother" parking spot at the grocery store and he got really excited. He figured you just weren't telling him until you were sure it was a boy.
Me: Uhh. No. I parked there because it was the closest spot to the front door, and I'm lazy.