Actual Conversation

Friday, February 26, 2010

Neighbor: Hey! I heard the great news! Congrats!

Me: (stumbling a bit) Uhh. Thanks? What great news?

Neighbor: Oh. You know. The news you're not sharing with anyone?

Me: No. I don't know what you mean... Are you talking about my conference?

Neighbor: No. The OTHER good news. You know, the news you are not telling everyone...
(wink wink. nudge nudge. say no more, say no more.)

Me: I have no idea what you are talking about.

Neighbor: (sigh) Your new baby. Thing 2 has told the entire neighborhood that you're pregnant.

{Crickets Chirping}

Me: WHAT?

Neighbor: Now. Don't get mad. He's just excited. He said he hopes you're going to have a brother because he hates being the lone boy in the family.

Me: WHAT?? I'm... WHAT?? Seriously. WHAT THE CRAP?? He told everyone? Really?

Neighbor: yeah. When is it due?

Me: Umm. Like, oh, I don't know. Maybe around the date of NEVER! I'm totally not pregnant.

Neighbor: You're not? Really? Are you sure?

Me: Really. I'm 100% sure I'm not pregnant. I just started my question mark. I'm totally sure I'm not having a baby. Why would he SAY THAT?

Neighbor: Well, he said you parked in the "Expecting Mother" parking spot at the grocery store and he got really excited. He figured you just weren't telling him until you were sure it was a boy.

Me: Uhh. No. I parked there because it was the closest spot to the front door, and I'm lazy.


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27 monkeys jumping on the bed:

  1. 2busy said...

    So funny! This really happened?

  2. Barbaloot said...

    I wish it really were called a question mark. That'd make it less horrible I bet.

  3. Em-Cat said...

    That is hilarious! I guess that's what you get when you park in the "Expectant Mother" spot. It's Karma baby...:-)

  4. The Damsel In DisDress said...

    Wait...you mean parking there doesn't make you pregnant?

  5. Jennifer said...

    Oh my....when you laugh out loud when you are all alone in your house staring at your computer it is very important to comment on the blog you are reading :) Not only that all the comments are making me laugh too. So funny.

  6. Braden Bell said...

    That is awesome, Motherboard!!!! I think I may start a rumor about my wife.

  7. Serene is my name, not my life! said...

    Hahahahaha!! That is too funny!

  8. Jenn said...

    That is seriously a hilarious story! Just what I needed to put a smile on my face! Baaaahaaaahahaahaha!

  9. Untypically Jia said...

    LMAO! Fantastic! I always tell hubby, "Just park there, I'm big enough that people won't question it."

  10. Emily said...

    That is awesome! I'm still laughing!

  11. Jillybean said...

    Ha Ha!
    It could have been worse, he could have announced it to the entire primary like our neighbor's 4 year old did.

  12. Michele said...

    That's going to keep me chuckling all day!
    Too funny.
    Trinity has done the same thing in her kindergarten class a few weeks ago.
    Totally forgot to post about it!

    Soooo, when are you due?? LOL

  13. Carrie said...

    Bwahahahahahhaaaa!! Too funny. At least you found out fairly soon into your "pregnancy" and won't have to wonder why everyone is constantly checking out your tummy at church for the next couple months. :)

  14. Rachel Sue said...

    HA!

    That is the funniest thing I've heard all day!

    SO are you really not telling anyone about your conference? :)

  15. Denise @ Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys said...

    That is so funny! I love how kids think....and share!

  16. Wonder Woman said...

    What store besides Babies R Us has spots like that? I need to know this.

  17. Melissa Bastow said...

    That's awesome. Next time you should just milk it and see how many people you can get to bring you dinner if you say that you've had horrible horrible morning sickness and your kids are on the point of starvation because you can't get off the couch on most days. But then you run the risk that people might start noticing the lack of baby once so many months pass.....

  18. Charlotte said...

    Hilarious! Much better than when my neighbor congratulated me (at the neighborhood party) because everyone had told her I was expecting. They had no evidence but my body shape. AND THEY WERE ALL WRONG.

  19. Shalee- Be Speechless said...

    Oh my goodness that is too funny! I have always thought of parking in those spots..better think twice in a small town though!

  20. Braden Bell said...

    I can't resist this story. Several years ago I knew a woman who was getting set apart for a calling. The person giving the blessing blessed her AND the child within her...

    You guessed it. She wasn't pregnant.

  21. Kati said...

    Haha! That is really funny....

  22. Kalli Ko said...

    I love stories like this. Your kid is rad.

  23. Jami said...

    Forget the wimpy lol; THAT was a belly laugh!

  24. Jenn said...

    You just caused me to do the snort laugh. Too funny!!!

  25. Dionna said...

    You just gotta love that boy!!!! TOOOO FUNNY!

  26. Amber Lynae said...

    This is funny stuff here. You would think your boy would ask you before he tells everyone.

  27. zoo keeper said...

    hahahaha!
    see then you would totally benifit from my 10 items or less parking spot :o)