Monday, February 22, 2010
When I heard the title, I think I actually threw up a little in my mouth. Then I did a "NO she didn't" type of a jaw drop. I very well may be over reacting, but it just rubbed me the wrong way.
The title of the book was "The Submissive Wife".
Before I go any further, let me explain. I'm a feminist. But, not the kind of feminist that the world describes. I think feminism has gotten a bad wrap. There are those feminists that burn their bras, don't shave and are total man haters for impregnating us with their nasty man seed.
I'm not one of those.
Simply put: Feminism is an intellectual, philosophical and political discourse aimed at equal rights and legal protection for women.
I think that most women would agree that they deserve to be treated equally.
When I heard the title of that book, it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
I understand that it probably is a poorly titled book, but that word triggers my gag-reflex. Mostly because in the worldly definition of submissive it means that someone else is imposing their will and worldly definitions on me. (aka June Cleaver)
I do believe that God created me to be equal to Jefe-- his partner, and that we walk side by side-- not his servant. The wordly definition makes me feel like I shouldn't have my own thoughts, feelings or ideas, and I really believe that--me not having ideas or thoughts outside of marriage or child-rearing-- goes against what God had intended.
While I do believe that I have a purpose here on earth-- to create life, nurture life and grow people-- I don't believe that God intended that to be my only purpose. I have ideas, thoughts and talents that I believe he wanted me to cultivate and grow. Not hide away under a bushel .
The reason for this post is this:
Thing 1 asked me recently if I "believed all that crap". When I probed further, she wanted to know if I really believed that my only purpose here in life was to make babies, clean toilets, change diapers, do laundry and cook meals.
She had been told by another adult that being a wife and mother was all she was meant to do-- that to be a good wife and good mother meant she needed to submit her ideas, wants, desires, goals and likes to those of her spouse.
That really made her angry and she wanted answers.
(yes. she was totally taught this.)
Her question really took me off guard and I had to ponder it for a while.
I went back to her later and told her that No. I don't believe all that "Crap" . I don't believe that my only purpose in life is to simply be someone's servant-- cleaning, cooking, changing diapers. Nor was it my "duty" to change who God intended me to be and like only the things that my spouse liked.
I told her that I believe that Heavenly Father has made it so we, as women, can do and be anything we want.
I told her that we live in a time where we truly can have it all, it just doesn't have to be all right now, at the exact same time. We have a lifetime to become, to evolve.
And, that is the greatest blessing that feminism has offered us women-- The right to choose.
I chose to give up a successful career. I turned down my dream job to get married. I was given the chance to choose, and I did.
I CHOSE to be where I am today, and it makes me happy. I told her that I know that Heavenly Father intends for me to make the most of my life-- using my intelligence, my creativity, my mothering and my spirituality-- and to help better the lives of those around me.
Blazing feminists made it possible for me to choose, and I thank them.
Do I burn my bra?
The girls are entirely too big to go au naturel.
*image via Google images