Song Lyric Fail

Recently I was with my friend and we stopped at McDee's to get ourselves a Diet Coke so that we could continue the amazing conversation that we were having-- and not get parched as we talked the night away.

One of my favorite songs-- and apparently her's too-- came on because we both started singing at the top of our lungs together. We were in perfect synch as we were waiting for our turn to pay and get our drinks. Bouncing along, singing-- It was absolutely perfect. It's times like these that make up my Kodak moments of life-- complete with a soundtrack.

And then my friend started singing the last verse.  Or what she thought was the last verse.

Just as the McDee's Man opened the window he heard TWO versions of that verse.

Mine of course, was the correct version because we (the McDee's man and I) both at the same time said to my friend "What did you just say?"

She looked at me, scrunched up her nose and said "Stop it! I sang the lyrics."

I looked at the McDee's man, who was laughing, and said  "Uhhh... No you didn't. Sing it again."

Which she did.

And it was wrong.

In so many ways, it was wrong, wrong baby, wrong. 

Me: Did you just say "like a hair on your untrimmed chest?"

Friend*: Yes. Shut up! That's the line in the song.

Me: And then what did you sing?

(McDonalds man is still listening. AND LAUGHING)

Friend: Like a bird in your vagina.

Me: Uhh.. Yeah. That's not how the song goes.

Friend: Yes it is. Stop being such a prude.

Me: Seriously. That is NOT the lyrics to this song.

Friend: It is too.

Me: WHY for the love of all things holy would you put a bird in your vagina? For hell's sake, REALLY?  A BIRD? In your vagina. Wuh the wuh-wuh??

(McDee's man is wiping the tears now as he listens to this gift I am giving him).

Friend: Uhhh. I thought it was some weird sex thing.

(McDee's Man starts laughing even harder) 

Me: Seriously? Think about it. A Bird. IN your vagina. For reals? WHY?

Friend: I dunno. Maybe not?

Me: That's right. Positively not.

Friend: Ok, Smarty Pants. What are the lyrics then?

Me:  LIKE A VIRGIN, YOU'RE MADONNA.

(McDee's man bursts out laughing. Again.) 

Friend: Shut up. Both y'all.(points to the McDee's man and Me) I'll never speak to either of you again if you tell anyone it was me that sang it this way.

Me: Oh. For sure. I'll never tell a living soul. Pinky Swear. **

And I turned to the McDee's man, and said "You're welcome and have a nice day."

And now You're Welcome, and I hope YOU have a nice day.

You will never be able to sing that song again without thinking of me. And my dumb cute friend.


*identity kept a secret to protect the guilty. 

**she is aware of this post and approves of it. sort of. in an anonymous sort of way.