I read this quote on Pinterest and just knew it had to be made into something pretty. It perfectly describes me, me thinks, and I doubt there will ever be anyone brave enough to try and tame me.

I am a wanderess, hear me roar.

Sleep escapes me tonight. Tossing and turning, my mind is trying to sweat away my troubles and fears. Finally, I rise and slowly make my way through the house, checking on each child to make sure they are breathing.

Stumbling down the stairs, I check each lock to make sure it is engaged. I walk my dog outside, plug in my white lights and sink into my favorite favorite camping chair. As I raise my eyes heavenward, I see the night sky on fire with the brightness of the stars -- as if each twinkle is a single wave, acknowledging my presence.

Being seen is a crazy thing. When you are invisible you can beg, plead, fight and cry for attention and it never happens. When you are finally seen? It is like a drug. You chase it, wanting to capture that feeling over and over again.

For years I have felt invisible, however, the stars reminded me that I am not. Somewhere, there is someone who will see me and will value me for being ME. Somewhere there is a person who cannot wait to talk to me, share every single minute with me, and I won't have to tug or pull to get them to want to connect.

Somewhere out there is a person who only wants to be with me, and no one else; talk to me, and no one else; share with me and no one else. Somewhere out there is a person who wants to be the last person I see when I close my eyes, and the first person I greet when they open again.

At least I hope that is true.

For the first time in years and years I feel hope, and I cling to it like its my only life line. I want to let go of my jaded, cyncial view of the world and believe for one tiny moment maybe a person really can live happily ever after.

And then I am gut punched back to reality by that same jaded, hardned self that I have been trying to shake. "That reality is for some, missy, but not for you", she says. "Lock it up, shut it down, and throw away the key. You, and only you can provide yourself with meaning and happiness."

I sigh a deep, sad sigh and stumble back to my bed. I stretch across it sideways and relish my freedom. And, acknowledge my aloneness.

Some poeple, I guess, are not meant for anything more than this: Confidence that they can not only survive, but thrive. Alone.