Thing 3: Mom, why are all these people outside on our streets?

Me: Well, they are exercising.

T3: What's that?

Me: Well, some of them are jogging. Some of them are walking their dogs, and some of them are riding their bikes. It's when you do things for your body to be healthy. Like running or skiing or walking the dog. That's exercise.

T3: I'm healthy. I dance and ski.

Me: Yes. You are healthy.

(quiet for a few minutes)

T3: Mom? You should exercise too.

Me: You think so, huh?

T3: Yeah. You should. Everyone is doing it but you.

There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes. - Dr. Who

I've had some emails again from people asking me what the heck this Random 10 Friday is all about. It started 3.5 years ago when I first started blogging. I read this hilarious blog of a Wisconsin college girl, and every Friday she would post the first 10 songs that came up randomly on her i-pod. I found some excellent music that way... and I was new at the whole blogging thing, so I copied her. At first my random 10 Friday post was just that-- my ten random songs. Then, it sort of evolved into what it is today-- my random thoughts from the week (that I collect in draft all week) and then the first 10 songs that come up on my play list. It is actually my favorite thing I blog. I have consistently blogged the Random 10 Friday for 3 years now... and my music tastes are still the same. I need to spice it up a bit.

I really like going to various blogs and listening to their play lists. I have a piece of paper that I write the tunes that I like down on, while I'm surfing. Then I download the new stuff I find. THIS gal always has great tunes!

Yesterday, I got the hair brained idea to clean out the rat's nest of wires that are under my computer desk. It is embarrassing how nasty that was. My sister came to help me once with some computer stuff, and about died when she the tangled mess of wires.

I bundled up all the wires, and made sure that everything was going where it needed to be-- found some wires that went to nothing, and got them out of there. Once I was done all cleaning and organizing, I went to sit down at my clean, organized desk and blog. Only the computer wouldn't turn on. And the laptop couldn't find any Internet connection. Great. I broke not only the desktop computer, but the modem for the Internet too.

It was a long day. By the end of it, I was sort of desperate. Jefe came home to fix my mess, and came out of the office laughing. He said "Seriously? Let me teach you something. See that button right there on the power cord? When its pointing this way, its off. When its pointing this way its on.
On. Off.
On. Off.
Off.
Now its On.
See how that works?!"
Then he proceeded to mock me all night long. Apparently I had just turned off the power cord and forgot to turn it back on.
Yes. I am a ditz. So??


I have a "whatever" kind of attitude. I speak my mind. I think that some people actually hate that about me, but oh well. If I have an opinion I am more than happy to share it-- and it's no skin off my nose if you don't think the same way.

My best friends are all like that. We speak our minds, we know exactly where we stand with each other and there is no "reading between the lines". I actually really like that. I want people around me that are willing to tell me what they really think, but don't feel the need to try and convince me that my opinion is wrong, and theirs is right. I try really hard to not do that to others. I am more than willing to look at all sides of things, and if I am wrong, I will admit it.

I really want my daughter to be unafraid to say what she thinks... and trust me, so far she has no problem telling me and Jefe what she thinks. But, she hasn't quite been able to master the "whatever" attitude. By that, I mean the "I have thoughts, and feelings, and WORTH, and I don't care what anyone else thinks about me." I want her to gain that kind of confidence. The question is HOW. How do you do that? How do you give that gift to your children? Does it just come with life experience? I hope not. I want it to be there before she hits the dreaded dating age.

Sometimes I find myself thinking that herding cats would be easier than trying to be a parent.


Every time I get in the car I fight a battle. It feels like it is more of a loosing battle than anything. For some reason, when that car starts, all I can think about is going through the drive through for a diet coke and fries. It doesn't matter the time of day. I actually find myself arguing with my self about getting the junk, driving into the drive through-- gaining my self control for just that moment to then drive out the exit. It's a hefty battle. I love my soda. I love french fries. This morning I compromised... I just got the soda from 7-11, and I skipped the donuts AND fries.

Maybe there is hope yet.


I'm still painting. I did all the easy rooms first. The kitchen has yet to be done. It had the most dings in the walls, and the most taping to be done. So, I just have skipped it completely. I did last night start painting the desk area in the kitchen. I had left over red paint-- so I just threw that up there. Now I have to finish that room-- its got 1 red section and then the gold color randomly painted all over. I have really enjoyed all of this painting.

Sometimes while I am painting, I turn the radio on, put Moxie in her jumper and sing away to her. She thinks its hilarious and will alternate between squealing with delight or singing along with me! Other times, when I can get Moxie to sleep, I will keep the music off and just be with my thoughts.

This painting has been cleansing for me. I had been living in a silent protest -- which, if you ask Jefe, was not so silent at all. I was angry about moving away from Chicago. I absolutely loved it there. Ever since I was a young girl, I wanted to live there. I just knew I would find fame fortune and happiness. I found the latter there, that is for sure. I was happy in Chicago. I found myself and it really felt like it was my home.

When Jefe got this job out here-- to say I was devastated would be an understatement. I know that this will hurt my family to know this-- it wasn't that I didn't want to live by them-- it was that I was in a really good place with ME. I found ME in Chicago-- and it hurt to have to leave there and try to start all over again.

I refused to pack. I did not pack one box. I thought maybe if I didn't help, it wouldn't happen. But, Jefe made it happen. When we got here, I refused to help unpack. I refused to hang up the pictures. I refused to decorate. I have been a great big stinker. He has been very patient with me as I have held my own form of a not- so- silent- protest. He is a good man, and deserves saint-hood.

This painting has been cleansing. My children come home from school and are excited to see what new walls have been painted. Thing 2 described it to the neighbor as being "homey". My children have thrived with the move. My not-so-silent-protest is over. It pains me even more to have to admit that to Jefe-- and to admit that he was right. It was a good decision. (I hate it when he's right!) I've even decided to go get a stupid Utah drivers license. (yes. I know the attorneys wife has been breaking the law. So what? sue me. )

My house is finally starting to feel like a home.
Our home.


Send some new play lists my way. I need new tunes! Let me know if you play-- I wanna see your randomness!


1. Queen of the Supermarket - Bruce Springsteen *how did he know? *
2. Off Broadway - Ryan Adams
3. Tears Dry On Their Own - Amy Winehouse
4. Daydreamer - Adele
5. Hanging By A Moment - Lifehouse
6. Bruised But Not Broken - Joss Stone
7. I Hope That I Don't Fall In Love With You - Tom Waits
8. Sweet Pea - Amos Lee
9. After The Hurricane - Br549
10. Dream Big - Ryan Shupe & The Rubberband

Bonus: He Ain't The Leavin' Kind - Rascal Flatts

Logically, I know that January has the same amount of days as 7 other months of the year. However, I am here to tell you that it is simply not true. It is, in fact, the longest month of the year. "The Man" sneaks extra minutes in here and there and I think there is actually something like 42 days in January. For reals. Or at least that's what it feels like.

Jefe and I refer to January as "the winter of our discontent" (where's that from?) We watch the weather and groan when we see the temperatures and the little gray sky icons. I do admit that the weather here is mild compared to Chicago. Now, that is just freaking cold. The suburb we lived in was always the coldest spot in the entire state. I just hate being cold, and I dread gray skies. Actually, abhor them is a better word.

I have to admit that this year hasn't been that bad. For one, its been mild and pretty sunny. My friends in the Midwest have had it WAY worse than me... Don't you think that the cold weather is easier to endure when ol' Mr. Sun comes out to play?

Secondly, I have given myself some pretty hefty assignments to finish. I know that when I am busy working-- I have a tendency to not be as depressed, anxious or just plain old bitchy.

I went and picked out the colors that I wanted to paint the walls in my house -- warm, happy colors. Then I went into every room and painted the middle of the walls with the color. Just a swipe here and a swipe there with the paint brush. Now, I have this giant mess on my walls, and I have to finish what I started. (see, I put on my thinking cap right there!) The last couple of weeks I have been busy fixing my giant mess... and my depression, anxiety and bitch factors have been down. WAY DOWN.

I have painted my family room, hallway, dining room, and living room. I am working on the kitchen, but am still trying to get the wall paper off my walls. If I ever meet the man-- because you know it was a man-- that invented wall paper... Well. I'm going to kick him in the teeth.

However, not only have I done all that painting, I have de-junked my kitchen, started de-junking the basement (which has to be done by Saturday because my framers are coming), cleaned the neighbors house, done the dishes, folded the laundry, cared for the kids, taxied the children hither and yon, cooked the meals, cuddled the baby, stopped WWIII from occurring in my family room, done some more dishes and laundry, and bathed the stinky dog.

I'm freaking tired just thinking about it. I sit down to read or watch the news and literally pass out from exhaustion. I even fell asleep at the computer last night trying to read some of my favorite blogs. Now that's just sad people. But, I think this being busy, making myself paint and de-junk has really helped me with my junk. Depression and anxiety are real things for me. I have it. I get it. I understand it and I realize that it is what makes me... well, me.

So, I end where I began. January is "the winter of our discontent"; the longest month of the year. "The Man" has secretly stuck extra minutes and hours into January and we really have 42 days of cold and misery. All so he can mock and laugh manically at us during this long, cold, dreary month.

And yet this year? It hasn't been that bad.

(knocks on wood)

Every Sunday, I have an internal battle that happens, and no matter how much preparing I do—trying to stop my battle from happening—it still happens.

Every. Single. Sunday.

Without fail.

You know that cute little primary song about how Saturday is a special day? The day we get ready for Sunday? Well. I have tried to do as it says. Every Saturday, I try my hardest. I clean my house, and I shop at the store (so I won't have to work until Monday). And yet, every single Sunday I find myself not only working, but sometimes…

{{Leaning in close to whisper}}

… I'm shopping at the store.

GASP!

I know. Thrust me right this instant down to hell. Do not stop, do not pass go and DO NOT collect your freaking two hundred dollars.

It doesn't matter how much time and energy I put into making sure I have every single little thing we would need for our Sabbath enjoyment (including the soda AND candy), 3 out of the 4 Sunday's I find myself at the store. I could blame it on the whole 1pm church time, but that would be too simple. Sitting around all morning long with nothing to do but holding hands and singing Kum Bah Ya can make anyone a little stir crazy. But, I don't know if it's really that simple. I am beginning to think that really, it's me. I have a problem.

I wake up in the morning, thinking "Man. Why didn't I remember to buy that? If I had bought that, then I could totally make this." I'll then wander around the house arguing with myself as to why making that really isn't necessary. Sometimes my good side wins, but more often than not, my bad side is triumphant.

Then, before I regain conscientiousness, I am on my way to hell the store. Sometimes I go just so that I can get an extra paper to cut out all those coupons that I will then never use. Sometimes it's legit—I didn't see that the dog has zero food and she is now starving. Sometimes I didn't think to notice that the baby had only enough formula for 3 more bottles. That is clearly not enough to get you through an entire Sabbath day.

When I am trying my hardest to be all righteous, I watch the people on Saturdays, doing their Saturday chores, and I wonder if they ever slip up. Are they as perfect as they seem? Because they are shopping at the store, and cleaning their houses and mending their clothes so they don't have to work until Monday. So, what am I doing wrong that it is so difficult for me to follow through with that one little principal? Why can't I seem to keep the Sabbath day holy?

I know. I know. They really aren't perfect—but it sure seems like it and like they never do anything wrong. Like ever. Especially when I find myself driving down my perfectly quiet street on a Sunday morning headed straight to hell the store.

Sigh.

Oh well. Here's to next week and the hope that I can shush those nasty creepers that talk me into going to hell the store.

“To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, Hey, can you give me a hand? You can say, Sorry, got these sacks.
- Jack Handy, Deep Thoughts (SNL)”

Every so often I like to go through my spam folder. Just to see what kind of ridiculous email I am getting. Its good for a hearty laugh, every now and again. Like at Christmas time, I kept getting spam emails from Santa Claus, asking me to send him $19.95 and he would send me a letter back telling me if I was on the naughty or nice list. I sa-WEAR I got like 20 of those stupid emails. Times must really be tough if Santa is trying to make a little cash on the side.

Right now, I am particularly found of the one I have been getting for the Snuggie. Have you seen that on TV? Yeah. It's the one that is the blanket with sleeves... You know. The one that looks like what you would wear if you joined a cult?

I think it does look warm, and am just a teeny tiny bit tempted to buy the blanket. I hate being cold. However, I just can't seem to get passed the whole cult factor. I would be afraid that either I would be forced to drink Kool-aide OR the Mothership would come and swoop me away. Besides, if it makes men wear blond cheerleader wigs, I'm afraid. Very very afraid.

I think that Monica, from Friends, may be channeling herself through me. For reals. I've suspected this for several years. Especially after "the great Monica incident of 2000". What would that be, you ask? Well. I was in a Relief Society Presidency and went to check on a lady who was in the hospital recovering from birth. She had a husband at home taking care of her other children and so I went over to check on them, take them dinner and see if there was anything I could do for them. I almost passed out dead from shock when I saw the extreme mess that was that house.

I asked him if he was going to clean up before he brought his wife home from the hospital, or did he need some help. He looked at me puzzled, and said: "I did clean up. Besides, its not that bad." (all the while I am noticing the dirty diapers lining the walls and the Styrofoam food containers everywhere). I felt my inner Monica come out, and I showed up later on his doorstep, with my cleaning bucket and gloves on and cleaned that house. Because seriously, who lets their wife come home FROM GIVING BIRTH to a dirty house?!?

What prompted this memory was my most recent "Monica" showing. She over powered my common sense and I did it again. I saw this dirty house, and I could. not. help. myself.
I had to go clean the giant mess that I had found.
And now?
I'm embarrassed.
Bad Monica. Bad, bad Monica.

Today I get to go see the girl that was our "nanny" when we lived in Chicago. I use the term nanny loosely, since she was only 13. However, she was the only teenager that I have ever had baby sit my children. Ever. She watched them every day for about 2 hours. I was working nights, and I needed someone to be with the kids during the transition time. I got dinner ready, picked up our "nanny" and brought her back to our house and then went off to work. She fed the kids, did her homework and watched TV. Jefe usually came home about 2 hours later. It was easy work for her, with an easy paycheck. It was perfect! Thing 2 wasn't even 3 yet and Thing 1 thought our nanny walked on water. She was our sitter until we moved 3 years ago.

Ironically, Thing 1 is the exact age that she was when she started sitting for us. I can't wait for her to not only see Moxie (whom she's never met) but also see how grown up my kids are! It will be fun to watch them all interact again... all while attending the temple open house! I can't wait!

Moxie has figured out stairs. And hide and go seek. She likes to hide, and I have to seek. Every time I turn around, she is gone, climbing those stairs and heading for Thing 3's bedroom and the vast array of stuffed animals. When I come around the corner to see where she is, she squeals with delight, and crawls off as fast as she can. Cracks me up. Then she will look at me, quite serious, and start babbling to me-- using hand gestures. It is hilarious.

I have started a baby sign class at a local high school so that I can figure out what exactly she is telling me. I know its interesting AND entertaining. I just need a translator for Moxieish-- her secret language. I love to hear her babbling and mimicking the way we talk. It is absolutely one of my favorite things. That and her screeching she does to get my attention. Although, I am sure the screeching will quickly become annoying as all get out. But, for now it makes me happy.




1. Rainbow - G. Love & Special Sauce
2. Tears Dry On Their Own - Amy Winehouse
3. When You Say Nothing At All - Alison Krauss
4. You & I Both (live) - Jason Mraz
5. Around You - Ingrid Michaelson
6. Daughters - John Mayer
7. Lost Cause - Beck
8. Lonely and Gone - Montgomery Gentry
9. Idiot Boyfriend - Jimmy Fallon
10. Mad World - Tears for Fears

Bonus: Firefly - Tony Bennett

Did you watch? This is pretty much the only show that I watch on TV any more. I love it. It's a smart mans show... and there are layers. Just like onions. (name that movie)

I have so many more questions now. If I were to be honest, I have been reading the Lost boards... reading everyone's theories. I have yet to figure out my new theory. Based on last nights season premier.

If you watch, what's your theory??

Yesterday was quite a historical day. I have to admit that I was quite the sap, and cried.
I cried when The Obama's arrived at The White House and greeted the Bushes. I cried during the invocation by Pastor Rick Warren, when he asked the Lord to forgive us when we forget. I cried when I could hear the crowd chanting "O-ba-ma! O-ba-ma!"Over and over. I cried when I saw the Bible used by President Lincoln when he was sworn in. I cried when I saw the tradition and pride that is MY country. I cried when I saw elderly Black people being wheeled into the plaza... just so they could say "I was there." I cried when President Obama was sworn in as our 44th President of the United States and I cried when he gave his first Presidential address.

I cried as I watched my children, gathered around the television, watching the inauguration... Un prompted by me. It was moving to me to see them WANT to see this historical event. Thing 1 took notes. When I asked her why, she responded: "I want to always remember this day. I want to remember how I felt, so some day I can tell my children." That moved me.

It was a historic event. One black commentator stated: "When I was growing up my parents said I could be anything BUT that. Today, it has been made clear that we can now be anything... even that." That made me cry. I am proud of my country-- and the progress that we have made, and the progress we are still making.

I do believe that all men were created equal and that we were created in the image of our God. Yesterday, that message rang loud and clear. Yesterday we took major steps forward. I am proud to be an American!

Whether you believe the same politically as President Obama, it matters not. The people have spoken. Our new leader has been chosen , and now our job is to rally behind him and pray for his success. Shame on us if we choose to participate with those that do nothing but tear our leaders down. It does not help our Country.

I pray that President Obama can keep his zeal and convictions and lead our country in a direction that is best for all of us.

I am proud to be an American. Change has come to America, and to quote President Obama "I will be that change."

Holy Cannoli, Batman!

Who doesn't like free stuff? (me! me!) Check out all the free stuff we are throwing your way over on the MMB.

Go check it out, and enter to win. It's some seriously good stuff, people!

Then, if you haven't registered to be apart of that great site...
Do it.
Like Now!

What are you waiting for?
Go win yourself some loot!

We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics. - Bill Vaughn


We have had 5 straight days of sunshine here this week. It has done wonders for my SAD... I feel happy and perky. I painted for most of the week. I am loving the look of my house. I now have to take the stupid tacky wall paper boarders off my wall in the kitchen. Have I told you how much I hate those crappy things? No? Well, I do. Big time. They suck. They ruin your walls. Just say no to crappy wall paper boarders, people. Step away from the wall paper. Turn and run as fast as you can!

Where was I? Oh yeah. The sun. Sun = warm. I feel bad for all my peeps out there in the Midwest that are suffering through that frigid cold. I remember that cold all too well. You never left your house. If you did have to leave your house, you didn't leave without your hat. Who cares if it made you look like the abominable snowman? You were warm. Fashion doesn't exist in those conditions.

I remember it being so cold that it just sucked the very breath right out of you. I remember standing on my friends porch, waiting for her to answer her door, and I could hear the electricity running and popping through the electrical wires. It was THAT cold.

{shiver}

Sorry friends, out there in the Siberian cold. I hope you have lots and lots of warm things to drink. I'll make a pot of soup for you today, and think of you.
As I open my windows.

{muwah-ha ha ha ha!}


Let's talk Barney, shall we? This purple critter bugs the crap out of me. Have you heard the new voice? Even more annoying. He's trying to sound like the old Barney, only he doesn't, so its entirely 100% irritating. I haven't watched Barney in about 4 years. I will be honest, all of my children have grown up watching the annoying purple dinosaur. A couple of them even had a stuffed Barney, and the Barney training underpants. Yes. We are into branding our children over here in Crazyland.

So, I taped a Barney episode on the DVR recently for Moxie... Just to see if she would like it. I threw that puppy on this morning, and what to my wondering eyes did appear? Moxie crawling right up to the TV, standing and proceeding to dance to his even more annoying sing-songy voice. She loved it. For just half a second, my heart swelled with glee to see her so happy watching the purple monster. Then I came to my senses.

I guess we are venturing into another phase of Barney Branding. I suppose I will be taping lots and lots of Barney. Cause you know, the TV is the third parent. And don't tell me you don't do it too, cause if you do, you're a big fat liar!

Was it just me, or was all of technology out to get me yesterday? Seriously. Every time I tried to log on to my Google reader account, I would immediately get logged back off. It was starting to freak me out. I envisioned the people at Google, all sitting around watching me log on, them logging me off, and then laughing maniacally at my frustration (all the while watching me in that secret little camera in my computer that I know nothing about).

THEN whenever I tried to log into my MMB email account, it would start typing backwards.
I KNOW!
It looked like it was the secret language you used in elementary school-- and you had to look in the mirror to read. I even tried to write it backwards, but then it went forward -- all normal like! Can you say scary?! I couldn't actually SEE what the password was doing-- so I couldn't log on.
At all.

THEN my cell phone just up and quit working. Every time I tried to use it, I would get "all circuit's busy, try again later..." or even more annoying, just a busy signal. (Do they even use busy signals any more? ) When people tried to call me, they got the same message.

Weird.

Jefe said he tried to use his cell phone too, but when we answered his call (and we really did answer) all he could hear was this confusing sound of a man speaking mumbo-jumbo jibberish.

At that point, I was convinced that Osama bin Laden was in fact trying to take over the world, and they had used the technology damaging bomb (like in the TV show Jericho) to damage all our technology and we were all doomed. Doomed I say.

Dun Dun Dun Dun

When I told Jefe this, he just rolled his eyes. I think I may have heard him muttering something about checking to see if I had a brain tumor too.

I guess I just have an overly active imagination. Or I'm paranoid.

(do you think I really DO have a brain tumor? Oh no...)

Painting.

It should totally be considered a form of exercising! I swear I lost 10 lbs in the last 2 day. Really. Wanna know how I know I lost 10 lbs? Every single muscle in my entire body aches. Every one. I am aching in places I had no idea you could ache.

Up on the chair, paint paint paint.
Down from the chair, get more paint on brush.
Back up on the chair, paint paint. paint.
Down from the chair, get more paint on the brush.
Back up on the chair...

Moxie was pretty good about it for the first while-- she slept in her car seat on the table. Then she woke up, watched me for a while-- which totally cracked her up. Then she threw her bottle at me. Then the up on the chair, paint paint paint, down from the chair to pick up whatever Moxie has thrown on the ground. Then back up on the chair, paint. Dang it! Out of paint. Back down, get more paint.

I painted one entire wall, only to realize at the very end that I had taped it wrong.

I PUT THE TAPE IN THE WRONG FREAKING PLACE PEOPLE!

I ended up with a lovely white stripe down my wall. Because I'm a dork-wad and taped the wall wrong.

Sigh.

Three spaces painted, only 3 more necessary ones left. (The bathrooms, laundry room, office and playroom can happen whenever )

I may complain about my body aching but, I love the new look in my house.
I totally Love it!

Thing 1 came home from school and stood staring at everything I had done (with the help of Sher) while she was gone. She sighed a really long sigh and said: "Wow. It finally feels like home!"
And you know what?
It does.

Dear Self:

Next time you are painting your house, it would be a really good idea to remember this: DO NOT leave the bucket of paint on the ground. I know you were thinking that was a good idea, because you didn't want to ruin the nice table or kitchen counters. But, really? Babies and paint just don't mix.

Yeah. That really was a gigantic mess that Moxie made, wasn't it? She was having a blast playing in the paint, and even painted herself a lovely shade of tan on her legs and arms. The tile floor looked really pretty with all the paint flung all over.

It was a huge pain to try and get all that paint not only off the floor, but off Moxie as well. HUGE pain. And, it made Moxie mad. Really mad. I know you thought it was pretty funny when she got mad when you took all that fun paint away and then threw herself on the floor in a giant fit; but in another 10 months? Yeah. That's not going to be so cute. Maybe you should remember how cute you think it is right now so you can smack yourself silly 10 months down the road!

Good times ahead for sure.

So yeah. The next time you get the bug to paint (which I hope its sooner rather than later-- because you have 3 colors on the living room wall!!), it would be a good idea to put the bucket of paint up on the counter. That mess will be easier to clean up than the mess that Moxie will make. And she will make a mess. A HUGE mess. Trust me. I know.

Thanks,
Motherboard

Recently, I have been watching someone I love go through a very difficult thing. My heart aches for her, as we sit and talk, and run the "what if's" over and over. My heart hurts as I watch her struggle to make sense of her new reality.

As this trial for my loved one has unfolded, I have found myself reflecting on one of my favorite stories from the Old Testament, the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego.

I love this story because of 3 little words...

But if not...

The 3 amigos, as I lovingly call them (please don't thrust me down to hell for that one...) refuse to bow down to the kings idols. He is angry, and tells his servants to make his fiery furnace 7 times hotter than usual-- so he can burn these guys alive. The King mocks them, and says that if they didn't fall down and worship his idol properly, he would thrust them into the fiery furnace and they would burn to death, and really, who did they think would deliver them? Not their silly God... he, their king, was the one with all the power.

I love love love this next part... My 3 heroes say: "17 If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to ^adeliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king.

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it. - Voltaire (1694 - 1778)

I have to post my random crap today because, well, you know. Qwest sucks.
That's all I have to say about that.

The family has gone up to the mountain to ski again. I opted to stay home in my warm house and snuggle Moxie. She has been fun to chase around here, although she misses her kids. She has started calling Thing1 "Nah". She was crawling around yelling for her and it was rather endearing.

Thing 1 was mad at me when I woke her up and made her... yes MADE her go and have fun. She wanted to stay holed up in her bedroom-- reading. "why was I making her go skiing? Was I mad at her?"

Seriously? Making your teenagers go have fun means your mad at them? Wow. I have a very long road to hike if that's the case.
Sheesh.

Have you been over on the MMB, or in other words, The Mormon Mommy Blog lately? That's the other gig that I do that takes up some of my time. OK. A lot of my time. Mombabe designed us a new banner over there, and can I just tell you how much I love it?
Yes?
OK. I love it.
A lot!

One would think, what with the holidays and all, there would be very few people wanting to join in on the party at the MMB... but you would be wrong. Oh so very wrong. On average there were 25-30 blog submissions... a week. (the busiest week I had almost 80)

A WEEK PEOPLE.

That's a lot of blogs to look over and decide where to put them. I am glad that Sue consolidated some of the same categories--- it was getting quite demanding. If you haven't registered over there, you really should. Its such a great community of women-- and a safe place to find good blogs to read. Before the MMB, I can't tell you how many times, while blog surfing, I would run into porn or other nasty stuff. It's nice to have a place that I can go and find good blogs to read that I don't have to worry about.
Really. Check it out, and register...
You won't regret it.

Now, as long as we're talking "linky love" I have some blogs I wanted to give a shout out to. What with all the bloggers wanting to be added to the MMB, I have run across some incredible stuff. Really. Like DeNae over on My life is on Back order, she did this hilarious post about the Isrealite men in meetings being instructed by Moses. It cracked! me! up!

If pretty- pretty is what you are craving, then you should check out Lara over at Overstuffed or Alyson over in New England Living. They both are not only amazing photographers, but great writers as well. I like to hang out on their blogs.

When I am in need of a little peace, I jump over to Jan at Crazylady on Road 80. She is inspiring and I want to be her when I grow up.

Mombabe wrote this hilarious post a while back on The 5 Lanuages of blogging. Go read it, and see if it's totally not true! It cracked me up. Oh, and while you're over there, GO HERE and vote for her. She is up for a little award (Ok. It's not little... It's HUGE!!!)

Then, if that isn't enough love for you, you should go check out Crash Test Dummy Diaries. It's a veritable party every single post in her comment section. For reals. I had no idea the FUN--that I was missing out on--happening over there at Dummy's blog... she is a hoot and the comments are a riot! Join in on the fun... If you dare.


I loving refer to January as "The Month of my discontent". It seems to me to be the longest month of the year. I hate January. I know that it has the same amount of days as the rest of the year-- but seriously? It feels like it goes on for an eternity. I can not STAND the gray. Gray skies = a grumpy Motherboard. I totally get the whole SAD thing... I get it big time bad. I need sunshine. I also do not do the cold well. I like to ski, and that helps. But I still hate cold. I look like the kid on A Christmas Story when I am skiing, I have so many clothes on. It's silly, but I would rather throw fashion out the window and be warm. So what if I look like the What Not to Wear castoff, I am warm. So who cares??

There you have it. My totally random thoughts. I have some posts percolating up there in that cobweb infested brain of mine. Hopefully they will show up later... I am in the middle of big, gigantic painting mess. I will pay you a buck-o-five to come and help me finish.
No?
Dang.
Guess I'll have to try and get my self motivated then.

I love the colors I chose, and I love my new couch that we are all crashing on... I just have major follow through issues. I have 1 room done (the family room), now I need to do the kitchen, living room, entryway, hallways, bathrooms and laundry room. Not to mention my office and playroom. We just got the bid for the basement to get finished-- then I will have that too. My goal is to have the basement finished and the entire house painted by the end of summer. I am giving myself such a long deadline so that WHEN I finish early, I can treat myself to something wonderful.

Like a life...
I hope that thinking works.

Tunes people. I need new tunes. Please. Save me from myself and give me ideas for new tunes.

1. Pinch Me - Barenaked Ladies
2. If I Were A Boy - Beyonce *I seriously LOVE this song!
3. La Cienga Just Smiled - Ryan Adams
4. Knockin on Heavens Door - Den Fiori
5. Better Days - Amos Lee
6. Somewhere Only We know - Keane
7. Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day
8. Clockwatching - Jason Mraz
9. Breakable - Ingrid Micaelson
10. Young Love - Gavin DeGraw

Bonus: Typical - Mute Math

Dear Qwest,

You suck and I hate you.

I've written to you previously, with the hopes that you would get your act together... but apparently you are just destined to be craptastic. Yeah yeah yeah. I know. You told me that if I'm so unhappy, I should just switch Internet providers. Well, here's the thing: You are the only one that services my house. The only. freaking. one. ... (woe is me!) Everyone on my street has Comcast. Except me. And it sucks. Big time.

Do you hear that noise?
Yeah.
That's me.
Moaning and wailing and gnashing my teeth. Oh and don't forget the banging my head against my computer screen either. To quote Thing 3 "This is a big problem. BBbiiiiiiiiiggggggGG!!! Huge problem. How are we supposed to know stuff?"

That's my question exactly. How on earth do you expect us to go on living when you crash every other second? Or worse, when you crash and then can't get turned back on for like 3 days--"Because we just don't know what the problem is, but we're working on it..." Three whole freaking LONG days? How are we supposed to figure out what dolphins eat? Or where Abe Lincoln was born? Or how oh how are we supposed to learn how to do pre-freaking- algebra without the services of Google? How, I ask you? How?

Remember when I told you I wanted you, dear stupid Qwest, to pay me $25 every time I couldn't access the Internet? Yeah. I would have my student loans AND my house paid off by now. Seriously, that's bad.

Let me count the ways that I wish I could have the super powerful, glorious, the one and only true Internet on the whole face of the earth- Comcast! But alas, I am stuck with you, Oh Stupid, Craptastic Qwest.

So, here's the thing: Get it freaking together. OK? Cause, you are really screwing with my Mojo!

Sincerely,
Motherboard

My dog does a freak-out dance every morning when its time for the kids to leave for school. I try to put her outside for her potty breaks about the time that they are all leaving to catch the bus. However, this morning I didn't. I just put her in her "room" or in other words, my office. She likes to perch herself on my little window seat in there and watch the world go by.

Apparently, being locked in the office, and then forgotten about really pissed her off, because this is what I found when I remembered that I had locked her in her room.


But, you see the thing is this: I love this dumb neurotic, crazy dog. She is great company not only for me but for the kids as well. She follows us all around like a loyal friend should. She has had cancer 4 times-- with the latest bout being in her eyes and blood. She is slowly going blind and is quite literally on her last leg. It won't be long before my devoted canine friend will be heading off to greener pastures in the sky, with endless amounts of cable wiring to chew.
So, that nasty mess she made in my office? Yeah. I'll take it any day. Because that means she is still around for me and the family to love.

**These paintings are by far the best ones I have ever seen done of the Savior. I absolutely love them! I am thrilled to be able to tell you that if you copy my blog post and post it on your blog-- then you too can have one of these lovely paintings! But, you better hurry! Just copy everything that follows the stars. Then send him an email (contact@bowman-art.com) and wah-la!
Ba da bing, Ba da boom!
You've scored some beautiful art!
Hurry!
Go.
Like Now.
What are you waiting for?
It ends January 5th at Noon.
You better run, not walk!
Seriously.
Go.**

I wanted to share these beautiful pictures and what the artist has to say about each one of them! Everyone can win a FREE signed 8x10 print of your choice (out of the three prints shown), by copying and posting to your blog or website this whole post! After you post, then send an e-mail to David (contact@bowman-art.com) with your website or blog address telling him you posted it and that you read about this offer on my blog. Also send him your name and mailing address and he will send your signed 8x10 print of your choice.

David Bowman: has had a passion for art ever since he could pick up a pencil. He loves creating images of the Savior that inspire and uplift. Along with his Christian fine art, David has also written and illustrated a series of scripture storybooks for children titled "Who's Your Hero". Check out his website at www.bowman-art.com to see more of his precious art.



"Innocence"
The Savior tells us we need to become as little children to inherit the kingdom of God. I've often wondered what it is about little children Jesus loves most, and I think its their innocence. They are clean slates, seeing the world and others through untarnished eyes. Their hearts are pure, without the baggage of cynicism and self-doubt. In this piece, I've tried to imagine how a child would act upon meeting the Master for the first time. Without reservation or inhibition, I think he would simply want to play with Him. He would be at complete ease, allowing his pure little heart to soak in the love and laughter of His pure, infinite heart. Its no wonder Christ delights in these little ones and sets them up to be our examples.


"Security"
One of the greatest human needs is a sense of security. In all aspects of life, we naturally gravitate towards anything that makes us feel safe. In this piece, I wanted to convey a sense of complete peace and calm like only the Savior can provide. It's a security that allows us to rest assured, without fear or worry, when we put ourselves trustingly in His arms. Little children have that inherent kind of trust in their parents, so it's fitting that the man and girl who modeled for "Security" are actually father and daughter. They generated
the exact feel I was looking for.



"My Child"
This piece conveys an intimate, up-close-and-personal feeling of the Savior's love. Notice how all the lines draw your attention and point towards Jesus' face in the center. I chose the name "My Child" because the only thing that could compare (even remotely) to Christ's compassion for us is the love of a parent for his/her child. This image is also intended to put things in perspective. Above all, we are God's children first. He allows us the privilege of experiencing parenthood for ourselves and we are entrusted to be the mothers and fathers of His children here on earth.

Yesterday was the first time I had been skiing in 15 years. Fifteen years can really screw with your memory too. According to MY memory, I was a pretty dang good skier. I think I proved that to my children. By the end of the day, I was able to pull off a few of my old tricks-- like jumps, and skiing backwards, and doing circles. But, the crashing. Now, that was a different story.

In my defense, I only crashed 4 times. Twice was when I was attempting to go off a jump that snuck up on me, and was MUCH higher than the person in front of me made it look. Yeah. THAT was fun. The other two times I fell? Yeah. They were a titch embarrassing.

The first one was on the freaking bunny hill. Yes. The Bunny Hill. I tried to do a hockey stop and spray Jefe with snow. Only it didn't work. And I sort of did a weird flip over my skis. And then, for the life of me, I could not get up. At all. And I was on the bunny hill. With three-year-olds whizzing past me. It was just a little horrid.

The second time I fell, I was standing on the side of the mountain just talking to Jefe when I just tipped over. Yes. I tipped over. Much like a drunk person does. One minute I was vertical, standing and talking. The next minute I was horizontal on the mountain looking at the sky. Again, I could not get up. If the world were dependent on me getting up off the ground while skiing? Well. We could all kiss our lovely little lives goodbye, because it ain't happening.

I push, and push and grunt and groan. I even utter a few curse words to try and motivate the mountain to move out from under me. No freaking luck. People are passing me by, laughing. My kids gather round and taunt me. Jefe trys to pull me up, but its no use. I have to snap myself out of my stupid bindings, and then stand up-- like an old person, and start all over again. Its absurd!

I know how to ski people. I am a pretty good skier. Jefe commented that it was clear, watching me ski, that I knew what I was doing. But watching me try to get up after I biff it? Well, I looked like an elderly person rolling around on the ground.

Yeah. Good times.

That whole I've fallen and can't get up thing?
Ummm. Yeah.
I've lived it.
And, its so not funny.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - Noel Coward (1899 - 1973)

Happy Freaking New Year.

Finally. It's done. It's over and we can all get back to our regularly scheduled lives. I like the holidays, don't get me wrong, but I am glad that its all done. I have come to understand something crucial about myself, over these past few weeks. I am a creature of habit. I like routine (I know Sher!) and I like things to be the same.

All of the chaos of the holidays really messes with my schedule and routine. I love seeing my friends and family-- but whew. I am glad that my life can finally get back to my own crazy version of normal.

The other thing I have realized is that I am SO not a night owl. I like to go to bed early, and I like to get up early. I hear it makes the mind healthy wealthy and wise. It's either that, or I have become and old fuddy duddy!

The kids are in hog heaven. We were able to pull off the surprise of the century and get them not only ski/snowboard equipment for Christmas, but also Season passes to ski. We were able to get them several lessons as well... so you totally know where I am going to be every free moment we have. Which, frankly, doesn't bother me. Jefe and I both ski, so we take turns with Moxie in the lodge (or Grandma tends) and we veg, read, and watch the skiers come down the mountain. I really enjoy the whole experience... and it warms my heart to see my kiddos picking up this sport. But, not only that, I am thrilled with the amount of time we are going to be spending together -- sans friends-- as a family. There is nothing but good quality bonding time that can take place when you are stuck on what seems like those never ending ski lifts... It makes for the perfect time to talk with them. I am excited!


My husband is not a romantic man. He is a very serious man, with a killer sense of humor that he is very guarded in sharing. He likes "just the facts please" and nothing more. We share laundry duties... he does the boys, I do the girls. I do all the weeding in the yard, he mows the lawn.
He is extremely involved in the caring for the children... Looking at all these things we do in our marriage, it would seem, according to a discussion I was a part of recently, that Jefe and I have something less than the perfect marriage.

Gag.

I do not subscribe to the train of thought that my whole purpose in this life is to be my husbands servant. We are partners. We both live in the same house. I clean it, and take care of it, however, he also pitches in to help out. I do what I can to lighten his load, and he mine. If you don't try to lighten each others loads-- you can start to resent what you do. It may be weird to some, but hey. It works for me, and we like it.

Sure, there are things that we both wish the other person would do, however, is it worth making them feel like crap so that they will "change"? Umm. No. Don't get me wrong. We talk. We communicate. Sometimes we do it better than others-- but this marriage of ours? The way we are doing it? Yeah. It works for us.

( Story time: I was in a meeting once when the woman I was meeting with asked her husband to go pick their kids up from work because she was meeting with me. He looked at her, from his recliner and said (I kid you not) "Can't you see I'm busy here? I'm watching the game. You go get them." Embarrassed, she had to call her married daughter to go get the kids. Then, he hollered from his recliner: "Yo. Mary! (name has been changed) Ice cream!" She didn't miss a beat and got up and got him his ice cream. I was seriously in shock. I could not believe the lack of respect or how completely inconsiderate his behavior was.)

I walked away from our discussion seriously pissed off... and then quite sad. I wondered if I was off base. Did I really not have, like I thought, the perfect marriage for me? Were we just "fooling ourselves"? According to everyone there, the only way to be completely satisfied in your relationship is if the woman is being completely subservient and taking care of every single need that her man has.

Ugh.

I was talking about it all with Jefe when he said "I wouldn't want you to be like that. We are meant to be people-- not slaves." That's when I realized that just because one person believes the way to a perfect marriage is one way, does not mean that my way to a perfect marriage is any less right. It's just different.

I didn't say anything when everyone was spouting off their opinions. I have a tendency to cause drama when I tout my opinions. However, after thinking all this through, I wish I would have said something. The way people choose to live their lives is how they choose to live them and is none of our business. We have no right to decide that what they are doing is right or wrong. What is right for me very well may not be right for you-- but that is the beauty of life, isn't it??


Have you noticed that I haven't been blogging much at all? No? Oh. Well, I haven't. I did post every day last month those Bucket Fillers, but the truth is I typed them all up at the beginning of December and scheduled them to post... and then I just walked away from the computer. It was actually quite nice. Once in a while I would sit down to check in on people... but I haven't been writing. Anything.

Lately, I have felt the need to censure myself, for reasons I am unable to explain here. But, I did, and so I have. And as a result, I just haven't written anything. At all. For me, the act of writing is purging, and therapeutic. I need to write. Its how I deal with my stuff. Now, I don't have major stuff I am dealing with. On the contrary-- my problems are silly compared to some. But, this censuring myself is stopping today.

Just say No to censure.

If you get mad or offended at my writings-- then so be it. I can not worry about what I say, or how I say it any longer. Please understand that I don't wake up in the morning, trying to figure out ways to piss people off... I just need to write... to just get it out "there". I never write anything that I wouldn't say in person if were sitting around my kitchen table. If the words I use, or the way I say things offends, bugs you or hurts your heart-- take this honest apology right now. Then step away from the computer, because seriously? This blog is not about anyone but me and the residents of my Crazyland. Ya know? Sure, its really nice to get the comments, but I do this whole blog thing as a way to keep my memories alive for my children.



Do your neighbors know you blog? Some of mine do. I actually really love reading their blogs-- and getting to know them in this personal way! I have made amazing friendships in my neighborhood because of it; However, I sometimes wish they didn't know about my blog.

I have spent an awful lot of time bashing this neighborhood of mine-- in my mind. It has been difficult for me, living here. I haven't felt like I fit in, or that I was liked or like I had a place. I have felt, for whatever reason, like a "less than". It is a sad, depressing way to live. I really didn't like going to church-- because I had no friends. But, I have to say that my opinions have changed... drastically.

I have been privileged to watch recently, various angels in my neighborhood at work. I have seen the Relief Society program functioning-- how it was meant to function. Visiting teachers and those whom they teach, coming together to offer support and love. I have seen the Priesthood at work and have watched their tenderness. Watching this "rallying of the troops" has softened my heart, and my opinion has changed. I was wrong and I'm sorry.

This neighborhood is an extremely young neighborhood, an inexperienced one. Much of us are all the same age, and because of this, it is a neighborhood that has not had the life experiences that tragedies teach. However, when the tragedies do strike (and they will), this neighborhood has risen to the occasion. Lets face it-- none of us are immune to tragedies. We will all go through them, on varying levels. Whether its now or later-- we all have to be tested.

So. There you have it. My random thoughts from the last little while. I hope you all have a splendid day. I am skiing right now. As you read this (woot-woot for post ahead), and I am sure I will have more than my fair of embarrassing things to share when I get home. Like, oh I don't know... The fact that I am so out of shape that I get winded walking up my stairs? Yeah. This is gonna be a good day! I can tell.

My playlist needs some serious work... do you have any new stuff I should be listening too?? Let me know what it is so that I can check it out! I NEED some new stuff to listen to!


1. Night Train - Amos Lee
2. Every Day - Rascal Flatts
3. Over My Head - The Fray
4. Wonderwall - Ryan Adams
5. Hell Yeah - Montgomery Gentry
6. Wanted Dead or Alive - Chris Daughtry
7. Is She Really Going Out With Him (Acapella) - Joe Jackson
8. If I Had Wings - Darius Rucker *oh my! this is just delicious! his voice gives me chills!*
9. Jack & Diane - John Cougar Mellencamp
10. Restless - Alison Krauss

Bonus: How Does She Know - Enchanted Soundtrack