Jiggle the cable. Wiggle the wires. Bang on the keyboard. Try to find an unsecured network. Curse the bloody ISP. Rinse and repeat.
Friday, January 09, 2009
Dear Qwest,
You suck and I hate you.
I've written to you previously, with the hopes that you would get your act together... but apparently you are just destined to be craptastic. Yeah yeah yeah. I know. You told me that if I'm so unhappy, I should just switch Internet providers. Well, here's the thing: You are the only one that services my house. The only. freaking. one. ... (woe is me!) Everyone on my street has Comcast. Except me. And it sucks. Big time.
Do you hear that noise?
Yeah.
That's me.
Moaning and wailing and gnashing my teeth. Oh and don't forget the banging my head against my computer screen either. To quote Thing 3 "This is a big problem. BBbiiiiiiiiiggggggGG!!! Huge problem. How are we supposed to know stuff?"
That's my question exactly. How on earth do you expect us to go on living when you crash every other second? Or worse, when you crash and then can't get turned back on for like 3 days--"Because we just don't know what the problem is, but we're working on it..." Three whole freaking LONG days? How are we supposed to figure out what dolphins eat? Or where Abe Lincoln was born? Or how oh how are we supposed to learn how to do pre-freaking- algebra without the services of Google? How, I ask you? How?
Remember when I told you I wanted you, dear stupid Qwest, to pay me $25 every time I couldn't access the Internet? Yeah. I would have my student loans AND my house paid off by now. Seriously, that's bad.
Let me count the ways that I wish I could have the super powerful, glorious, the one and only true Internet on the whole face of the earth- Comcast! But alas, I am stuck with you, Oh Stupid, Craptastic Qwest.
So, here's the thing: Get it freaking together. OK? Cause, you are really screwing with my Mojo!
Sincerely,
Motherboard
You suck and I hate you.
I've written to you previously, with the hopes that you would get your act together... but apparently you are just destined to be craptastic. Yeah yeah yeah. I know. You told me that if I'm so unhappy, I should just switch Internet providers. Well, here's the thing: You are the only one that services my house. The only. freaking. one. ... (woe is me!) Everyone on my street has Comcast. Except me. And it sucks. Big time.
Do you hear that noise?
Yeah.
That's me.
Moaning and wailing and gnashing my teeth. Oh and don't forget the banging my head against my computer screen either. To quote Thing 3 "This is a big problem. BBbiiiiiiiiiggggggGG!!! Huge problem. How are we supposed to know stuff?"
That's my question exactly. How on earth do you expect us to go on living when you crash every other second? Or worse, when you crash and then can't get turned back on for like 3 days--"Because we just don't know what the problem is, but we're working on it..." Three whole freaking LONG days? How are we supposed to figure out what dolphins eat? Or where Abe Lincoln was born? Or how oh how are we supposed to learn how to do pre-freaking- algebra without the services of Google? How, I ask you? How?
Remember when I told you I wanted you, dear stupid Qwest, to pay me $25 every time I couldn't access the Internet? Yeah. I would have my student loans AND my house paid off by now. Seriously, that's bad.
Let me count the ways that I wish I could have the super powerful, glorious, the one and only true Internet on the whole face of the earth- Comcast! But alas, I am stuck with you, Oh Stupid, Craptastic Qwest.
So, here's the thing: Get it freaking together. OK? Cause, you are really screwing with my Mojo!
Sincerely,
Motherboard
