Thing 2 and his Cousin - They've got swagger!

Thing 2 left us this week to go off into the mountains to play pioneer. I always get really excited for them to go have the experience. It's a great way for them to get perspective on how blessed their lives are; however once they have lift off and are off pioneering, I spend the whole time worrying. Are they too hot? Do their feet hurt? Are they getting enough to eat? Are they taking care of my baby?

They only spend a small amount of time playing pioneer and yet, if done well, it can have a profound effect on them. I am anxious to hear how he felt about the Women's Pull.

Just thinking about that makes me teary.

I tried to find a good video to link to so that my friends and family that aren't Mormon can have a glimpse of what I am talking about. If I find it, I'll post a separate post about it.

I had to get a story together for Thing 2 to take with him on his adventure and I remembered the one I found when Thing 1 was playing pioneer  and I got emotional again as I rewrote it all down for Thing2. I suppose it hit closer to home this time around. I am not totally sure why the story impacted me so deeply writing it down for Thing 2  but it did. I have thought about that story almost non-stop since sending Thing 2 off on his adventure.

My Great, Great, Great Grandfather crossed the plains with his family and his daughter was about the age of Moxie when she died somewhere near the Sweet Water River -- which was a little over a hundred miles from the Salt Lake Valley. They buried their daughter in a shallow grave out on the wild prairie and continued on with the Wagon Company.

I can't even imagine my little girl dying, let alone burying her in a grave on the prairie to be left there. Alone. Unnoticed or recognized for the remainder of ... well, forever. The thought of it breaks my heart. As I am sure it did her Father and Mother.

Seventy-five miles from their final destination, my Great, Great, Great Grandfathers wife, Caroline, died; however, before she died, she made him promise that she would not bury her on the prairie, but rather take her body to the Salt Lake Valley and bury her there. She also made him promise that he would go back and get their daughter and bring her body back to the Valley and bury their little girl next to her mother.

And so my Great, Great Great Grandfather carried the body of his dead wife all the way to the valley, not stopping for anything. When he got there, he buried her -- making her the first white woman to be buried in the Valley -- and turned immediately around and headed back out to get his daughter. He rested with his Wagon Company for one day and then continued on to where he had buried his daughter. When he got to that sacred place he found that the wolves had already gotten to her, making it impossible to carry out his dying wife's last request.

Can you imagine?

I can't.

While some people think that Pioneer Trek is super weird and dumb-- and at first glance it does seem super weird and dumb -- I think it is a wonderful way for these kids to catch a glimpse of what their ancestors sacrificed for them. It is a way to learn about your history in a tangible way and it makes you appreciate the blessings that are in your life. There really is not another way to really help young people understand just how hard it was to walk across the plains -- 1,300 miles -- pulling a hand cart and fighting off animals, Indians, hunger and even death. Telling them stories is one thing, but re-enacting it creates a whole new experience for them and I think it can strengthen their connection to not just their past, but to their ancestors.

***
That's really all I have this week. My thoughts have been centered almost entirely around Pioneers and my son. I hope you all have a lovely weekend. I will be counting down the hours until he is back safely in my home.


1. Wild Horses (Live) - Alicia Keyes, Adam Levine
2. 1979 - Smashing Pumpkins
3. I Don't Want to Die Anymore - New Radicals
4. Ants Marching (Live) - Dave Matthews Band
5. Wanted - Hunter Hayes
6. Sweetest Thing - U2
7. Mad World - Gary Jules
8. Elizabeth, You Were Born to Play That Part - Ryan Adams
9. Gone, Gone, Gone - Phillip Phillips
10. What Hurts the Most - Rascal Flatts

Bonus: Feel It All Around - Washed Out

In my new position at work, I am able to put people "on hold". That doesn't seem like a huge deal until you realize that before I wasn't able to do that. Sometimes people are just too damn chatty and I just want to get the work done and not hear about all the stuff going on in their life. I am happy to change your flights and hotels at Four A.M, but please don't small talk me at this God awful hour of the morning. I don't care about your gout, or that your girlfriend just broke up with you. Nor do I care about the your dog, the neighbors dog or why you missed your flight.

When I type that all out it makes me sound super mean. And, I'm not. Except at 4:00 in the morning. Call me during normal business hours and I'm as nice and chatty as the next Kathy down the block. But at zero-stupid-thirty? Not so much. Every time my phone rings during the stupid o'clock hours, the first thing I want to ask is why in the SAM HILL are you not sleeping?

A lot of times people are drunk dialing at stupid-thirty in the morning because planning a trip when your intoxicated makes SO MUCH SENSE.

Anyway, back to the purpose of this post. Holding. 

Typically when I say I am reaching out to someone and ask if they can hold, I am just muting them while I instant message the various people I am "reaching out to". It's faster a lot of the time, especially when the various departments I have to reach out to have long hold times. I'll mute and instant message.

OR I'll tell them I need to have them hold while I finish up what they need me to do and I'll mute and just work so I don't have to carry on small talk.

People.

The things I have heard while people have been "on hold" are totally nasty.

Lip curling NASTY. As in N-A-S-T-Y nasty.

Once you've started whatever unmentionable you are doing while you're "on hold" I have a hard time figuring out exactly when I am safe to jump back in the "conversation". Seriously. How do you jump back in to a conversation when the following is happening? 

1. Someone going to the bathroom. Pee is one thing. It's gross and I don't want to hear it.

But number two? Seriously? While you're on hold?

Please don't.

2. Fighting with their kids is one thing, but fighting with the spouse, the neighbor lady across the street and the dog?  Please don't. I don't want to hear how you really feel about that trashy tramp across the street and her tacky car.

3. Sexy time. {shudder}

(yes. someone was actually "doing it" while they were trying to make a vacation reservation. why? because they're gross.)

(yes. I actually threw up a little in my mouth over that one)

4. Chewing your gum. Popping your gum. Smacking your lips. You have no idea how tacky that is, and how much you sound like a friggin' cow.

5.  Eating. Anything. Just don't. Unless you are going to mute ME.

Just remember that when someone says they are going to reach out to someone and the phone goes silent, you just might not be on hold. You are more than likely muted and the person on the other end can hear every single thing you are doing.

Every. Single. Thing. 

(see number 3)

And they are now scarred for life.

I found this recipe last year on Pinterest and it has become my go-to dinner. When I'm in a hurry or just not feeling the dinner mojo, I make this baby. My family loves it and it's so friggin' easy! 

Seriously people? How did we ever accomplish anything without Pineterest?


4-6 raw chicken breasts
new potatoes
green beans (fresh or canned-really any green veggie would work. (Broccoli is good, too).
Arrange in 9x13 dish.
Sprinkle with a packet of dry Italian dressing mix and then top with a melted stick of butter. Cover with foil and bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour.

 Thing 1 has had a best friend since she was 5 years old -- they were in the same primary class church and have "played together" (read: teased) each other longer than they haven't. They don't know what their lives would be like without the other, and have become, quite truly, what the term Best Friend really means. They have seen each other at their worst, and their best and have never left each other hanging. Even when one or the other of them is afraid of the dark and wants someone to talk to them on the phone until their mom and dad get home..

*cough*ben*cough
It helps that their mothers are best friends, and constantly in contact. Which, I think, has been a model for them to follow on how to be a true friend.

They saw each other for the first time in eight years this past week and it was absolutely delightful for me to see these childhood friends pick right up where they left off... as true friends mixed in with a little sassy teasing. Ben is leaving the texting, calling world behind for two years so he can go serve a mission for our church. He's been assigned to Ventura California, Spanish speaking and I think Thing 1 is more excited about his call than anyone else. She is beaming with pride that he decided to serve. And, frankly so am I.







Typically by the time we get to church there aren't any seats available inside, and we find ourselves park on the comfy couches in outer darkness. This past week, we found ourselves there at a decent time and actually sitting in the Telestial Kingdom. Maybe someday we'll actually make it to the Celestial Kingdom.

One can hope, right?

That's a peek at my life via instagram. Gimme a follow and keep up with all the stupid stuff I take pictures of, and now there's even videos. Joy. Rapture.

I have been doing a lot of cooking from the pins that I have pinned on Pinterest lately, and I have to say that the most recent dinner made that was inspired by Pinterest was a family favorite. Everyone loved it, including my picky eaters.




I did, however, modify it a bit simply because I didn't have a lot of time to follow each step. I thawed my chicken in the microwave and then instead of cooking it in the pan with oil, I sprinkled each side of the chicken breast with the powder mixture, and then lightly browned each side. I transferred it to a pan that I had lined with tin-foil and then sprayed and I sprinkled Mozzarella cheese all over it. I baked the chicken until it was mostly done. Then I pulled it out, and put the avocado, tomato and more mozzarella cheese on it and baked it until the internal temperature of the chicken was165, and the juices ran clear.

It was simply fantastic and was super fast and easy to prepare. I served it with a Spinach green salad and garlic bread.


Avocado Chicken


Ingredients 
1 teaspoon olive oil
 2 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1/4 teaspoon onion powder
 1 teaspoon lemon juice
 1/2 teaspoon salt
 1/2 teaspoon pepper
 1/2 avocado, sliced
1 tomato, sliced
 1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

Directions 
1. Heat oven to 350.
2. Heat oil in a medium skillet. Add chicken to the pan and sprinkle with onion powder, salt and pepper. Cook for 3 minutes on each side, or until lightly browned.
3. Transfer chicken to a greased baking dish and top each breast with avocado, tomato and cheese. Drizzle with lemon juice.
 4. Bake for 10-12 minutes or until cheese is melted and chicken is done.

Here's what I was seeing this past week.


 





  Thing 3 getting her groove on to One Direction while cruising in the jeep.   

Summer is upon us here in Crazyland and we are embracing it like an old worn coat.The children are settling nicely into the routine of sleeping in late, which is delightful for me. I'm up hours before their little bodies start stirring. I've worked my shift for work, done a couple loads of laundry, loaded the dishwasher and sat on my porch watching the sun peak her nose over my mountains, gracing me with her warmth.

I love this time of year and all the bright cheery heat that it brings with it. When people are complaining that its too hot, I'm grinning and sunning myself like a fat old cat. I love the heat. I love the late, bright nights. I love the freedom and Gypsy life that the warmth brings to my life. It fits me. It fits me well.

If I could live anywhere in the world I would choose a place where we have one season: warm. All the other seasons are nice places to visit, but I want my home to be cozy warm. Year Round.

***

My favorite guilty pleasure right now is Zupa's Pina Colada Salad and Enchilada Soup. I could seriously eat there every day.

And, I did. Last week.

It's a little rough on the pocket book and so I have been on a quest to find the perfect imitation recipe and I think I may have found her. It seriously is a wonderful little salad that is light, refreshing and yet filling as well.

Pina Colada Salad 

3 romaine lettuce hearts, chopped
2 large cans mandarin oranges, drained
1 large can pineapple tidbits, drained
1 red onion, diced
1 1/2 cups tortilla strips
3/4 cup crumbled feta cheese
3-4 chicken breasts, cooked, cooled & cubed
toasted coconut, optional

Toss all of the ingredients together in a large bowl or layer on a platter.  Serve with Pina Colada Vinaigrette dressing.

PINA COLADA VINAIGRETTE

1/2 cup plus 2 TBSP sugar
1/3 cup mr. & mrs. T's pina colada drink mix
1/3 cup rice or apple cider vinegar- rice will make it more mild or
apple cider will make it stronger tasting
1/2 tsp. ginger powder
1 tsp. dry mustard
1/2 tsp. salt
1 1/4 cup vegetable oil

In a blender combine all ingredients except the oil.  Blend well until light & frothy.  With the blender still on, slowly add oil in a steady stream.  Keep blending until the dressing is emulsified & thickened.

***
My kids decided to have a bake sale yesterday. They spent all morning in the kitchen while I was working creating their perfect master piece to then go outside and sell on the corner. They brought me a sample to taste and as I examined it I asked what it was. There response? Smore's on the Go.

Right?

I asked them where they got the recipe and they told me they made it up. Everyone likes smores, so they wanted to make some that you could grab from the freezer to eat ... on the go.

They had taken marshmallows, melted them and spread them on graham crackers. Then they melted chocolate chips -- except all we had was white chocolate chips and mint chocolate chips -- and drizzled that all over the cracker mixture.

Mint Chocolate chips used as a "smore" is not good, peeps. I'm just sayin'. Don't try it.

Maybe if they had used regular chocolate chips it would have tasted better. But I seriously gagged as I choked that "treat" down. I smiled, gave them a thumbs up and sent them out to the corner to sell their magic treats while I spit them out in garbage.

My kids. The consummate entrepreneurs.  Every summer we go down this road, them brain storming various ways to make it rich.

Yesterday's earning? $1.50. From me.

Time to hit the drawing board again, girls. 

***

1.Feel It All Around - Washed Out
2. She Will Be Loved (acoustic) - Maroon 5
3. Stay (Live Wrigley Field) - Dave Matthews Band
4. Mother We Just Can't Get Enough - New Radicals
5.All Summer Long - Kid Rock
6. Ho Hey - Lumineers
7. If I Ain't Got You (Unplugged) - Alicia Keyes
8. Come Home - Ryan Adams
9. Steady As We Go (Live from Red Rocks) - Dave Matthews Band
10. I Will Follow (Live) - U2

Bonus: I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For (Live from Milan) - U2

During the wee hours of the morning while I am working,  I try to use my time in useful ways. Like watching videos or reading trashy chick Lit. In the course of working this new shift (just a little over a month) I have prepared two Relief Society lessons,  read four books and watched an entire season of Breaking Bad.

Yeah I know.

I've already seen all of the seasons of Breaking Bad.

Don't judge me.

However, this past week I have been watching Ted Talks in the morning while I "work".

My sister told me about Brene Brown several months ago. She has done extensive research into vulnerability, courage, worthiness and shame. As my sister talked to me about this woman and her ideas it felt like a whole new world was opening up to me. Feelings that I would have when I interacted with various people started to make sense and my world was being rocked. In a good way.

 I needed to mull over the things she would tell me, and digest them little by little. I would go back and ask my sister more questions and she would encourage me to watch the videos and read her book. I'm not sure why it took me so long to actually sit down and watch them... probably because I had to actually sit down and watch them. And that takes time. And I had more pressing things to do, like read trashy chick lit and watch Breaking Bad.

Whatever. Don't Judge.

Yet, as I watched her first Ted Talk (the one above) I was floored. I kept having to pick my jaw up off the floor. It made so much sense. I was energized with the idea that something as simple as being willing to be vulnerable could, in fact, be the birth place to creativity, innovation and change.

 I have struggled because it feels like my creativity has become stagnant, stuck, dead, dried up in the water, gone, gone baby GONE.

I miss her. My creative side. And, for the life of me I haven't been able to figure out where she has been hiding; However, as I watched the video I started to understand where she had been.

The ideas she teaches are fantastic and frankly Mind Blowing.


What really rocked my world and has had me thinking non-stop about how I parent and interact with others is the second video she did on Shame.

Shame.

It's such a dirty little word.

Shame.

It has a tendency to rule our lives, mixed in with a heavy helping of Guilt and Fear of Failing.

Fear of failing is very real thing and it can be paralyzing. I see it in my daughter who just graduated. She has been so worried about making the right choice, and then succeeding in that choice that she has failed to make any choice. The world views failure through the lens of  shame, but in reality its not a bad thing to fail. Failing is good. It means you tried. It means you allowed yourself to be vulnerable and open. Some of the most successful people have failed. And failed big. But they didn't view that failure through the lens of shame. They viewed it through the lens of courage. 

According to Brene Brown, shame  is an epidemic in our culture. We embrace it and proudly wear it like a medal of honor. And it is killing us all slowly.  Killing relationships. Killing creativity. Killing potential. Killing testimonies. Killing personal self worth. Killing people.

"Empathy is the antidote to shame.  If you put shame in a petri dish it needs three things to grow exponentially: Secrecy, Silence and Judgement.  If you put the same amount of shame in a petri dish and dose it with empathy it cannot survive. The two most powerful words when we are in struggle is "me too."

 I know, right?

I heard it. That was your mind blowing, too, wasn't it? 

How many times do we not tell people how we are really feeling because we are worried we will be judged? How many times when asked how we're doing, reply "I'm Ok." when in reality we feel like we're drowning? How many times do we shut down the vulnerable side of us and listen to our critics -- the worst one being yourself -- and embrace the words we are hearing in our head: who do you think you are? you're not good enough, you're not important, you're not smart enough, you can't do that, you're a loser and a failure? 

By doing all that we are flaming the shame, allowing it to grow, take control of our lives, rule us and ruin us.

"The two most powerful words when we struggle are 'me too' " and by using those two little words, we take away the opportunity for shame to take root and grow. If we are going to find our way back to each other as a society vulnerability is the path. Its seductive to sit on the sideline, planning furiously how we will succeed. How we will accomplish our life goals, but not actually taking the plunge until "I'm ready." Or "financially secure." Or "have more money." Or whatever the excuse may be.

It's easier to let the shame wash over us and tell us we aren't "enough."

Telling people how you feel, or that you are struggling or that you need help isn't a sign of weakness but the most accurate measurement of courage.

Let me repeat that: Vulnerability is not a weakness, but the most accurate measurement of courage. 

Courage people.

Being vulnerable and open with others means you have Courage. With a capital C.

All I want for the people I love is for them to dare greatly. To look that critic in the eye  -- who is usually staring us back from the mirror-- and respond with "Who do I think I am? I am me and I am awesome. I can accomplish whatever I can dream."

Because they can. And so can you.

Watch the videos. I promise it will be the best forty minutes you will spend all week.

Even better than an episode of Breaking Bad.

Pinky Swear.

Photography has always been something that I have dearly loved. I look at things and see things differently than most people, just because everything I look at has something interesting that you can photograph, some interesting way you can turn it into art.

I used to carry my gigantic DSLR camera around with me everywhere I went, with another littler one in my purse, however, since I started using an iPhone, I have found with each new phone that has come out, I haven't needed all the other cameras as much. Unless I'm wanting to really zoom in on something.

I have five folders of photography apps that I use when I'm fiddling around with my camera, with my most favorite being Instagram. I seriously dig that app. I was using it WAY before everyone else and their dog jumped on board. Back in "the olden days" when there was zero spam and it was full of actual photographs... amazing photographs that move you in ways that only good art can.

Now it has become a trendy brand-pushing, spamming machine and is losing the fun of seeing amazing photographers. And yet I still hang around, perusing what I can find to see if anything moves me to try new things.

I participate in a lot of the daily photography memes (# fmsphotoaday being the most popular) and its fun to see what happens in peoples lives on a daily basis. I am planning on taking these little gems that I am capturing and printing them out on a larger canvas to showcase the year in the lives of Crazyland. 

Here's a view of last week: 

this picture has nothing to do with this post.

I think this is the first time in a very long time that I am not dreading the onset of summer. Usually by this time of year I am a giant ball of nerves because of the impending jail sentence of being designated Cruise Director for three months.

This year? Not so much.

I find myself thinking "Is it summer already? We have stuff to do, places to see!" For the first time in years I am excited to have all my people home, driving me insane and being lazy. I plan on drinking in every last drop because all too soon, this little nest of mine is going to be feeling rather empty. I have one little chick flapping her wings, readying herself to fly away.

That thought breaks my heart.

***
Years ago I wrote a first day of school post and had pictures that depicted the various stages of life I found myself in. Looking at the photos now, make my heart sad because I didn't realize at the time how accurate they truly were. "I will only know about their day what they choose to tell me." So true. 

Thing 1 is graduating from High School today. She made it. She did it. She is entering the world of adulthood. She is more my equal than not now and while I love the idea of us transitioning into a new era of friendship and camaraderie, my heart aches for the days when she would crawl up on my lap and ask me to tickle her back so she could go to sleep. Now I only know about her what she chooses to tell me, and it is getting less and less information the older she gets -- which is as it should be -- and it makes my heart ache for the days of yore. 

***
Thing 2 brought his girlfriend and another friend home from school with him yesterday. He texted me and asked me if I would go get them some pizza and frosty's. Of course I obliged. He has me wrapped around his little finger.  

They hung out here, Thing 2, his girlfriend and his wing-man, for the most of the night. Once his wing-man left, and it was just the girlfriend and he on the couch, snuggling, watching The Hunchback of Notre Dame, I felt that familiar feeling. He felt comfortable enough with his family to bring his important people home for us to interact with. And, interact with the two little girls did. They pestered and played with him and his girlfriend most of the night.

I like this girl. She played with my little girls and treated them kindly. And, she brings out the best in my son. He was a kinder, more patient person while she was here. Granted, he was probably on his best behave (as Moxie calls it) trying to impress his girl, but to me that's a huge bonus. 
 
I laid in my bed, listening to her laugh as she teased Thing 2 and the little girls and my heart swelled with joy. All that time and money we had spent in counseling has paid off. My people are happy to be home with their important people and that makes everything we have been through worthwhile.

I love my kids to pieces and hearing them play and interact together -- happily -- are some of the best sounds on the planet. 

***
I had someone call into work the other day over the top pissed because they had booked a flight to Boston but somehow had ended up in Philadelphia. 

I know, right??! 

Truthfully, I had no idea how to respond to this person because how in the SAM HILL does one mistake the words Philadelphia for Boston? The airport codes are not similar at all. 

 I can't understand how: A) the boarding agent let them get on the wrong flight and B) how the customer did not realize they were boarding the wrong flight. 

They say over and over again where the flight that is being boarded is going. How do you confuse Philadelphia for Boston?


Crack. That's how. 
***
Jefe bought the kids and I season passes to Lagoon again this year. To say I am over the moon happy about that would be a huge understatement. I love that stupid place more than any sane adult should. There are two reasons why: 

1.  I spent half my childhood/teenage years at that place working and playing. I have so many fond memories of growing up and a large majority of them include Lagoon. In fact my Mom and I were talking the other day about how I never complained about going to work when I was a teenager, and I started working when I was fourteen years old. I loved my job(s) that I had at Lagoon. It was a wonderful place to work as a teenager. It offered me a social life along with money. 

2. One of my favorite past times is people watching. I have no idea why but I seriously love watching people, seeing how they interact and how diverse the world is. It's fascinating to me to wonder what each persons story is, and sometimes (nerd alert) I find myself writing their stories in my head. Like the lady I saw crying the ugly cry at Disneyland. Who cry's at Disneyland? I had a fantastic tale I had woven as I stole glances at her while getting my Vanilla Diet Coke refilled. For the bajillionth time. 

***
Speaking of Disneyland, I actually found myself looking at season passes for Disneyland the other day. Now that we can fly for free, I don't see any reason why we wouldn't hop on a plane and head to Disney for the day. 

That could end up being WAY cooler than Lagoon. 

***
Have I mentioned lately how much I love my job? Because peeps. I seriously don't just love it, I pink, sparkly, puffy heart LURVE it! I don't love getting up at 3:45am to be ready for calls at 4:00, but I DO love my end time of 10am. And I REALLY love working from home. 

Like a lot.

I love walking upstairs on my break and being able to check on all my sleeping people. I love that when Moxie isn't feeling well, she comes and sets up her little nest under my desk and watches a movie on my iPad while I work. 

I love being able to run up on my break and seeing if I can get the entire kitchen cleaned, which I can. My record? 12:49 seconds to load the dishwasher, wipe off all counters and sweep the floor. My kids are on crack telling me it takes an hour to clean the kitchen. 

An hour if you load a dish and then send eighty texts maybe. 

***
That's all she wrote. 

Have a delightful weekend. I'll be over here in crazyland crying buckets at the High School Graduation. Then stuffing my face with some seriously good food. 



1.  Someday We'll Know - New Radicals
2.  Set Fire to Rain - Adele
3.  Hannah - Ray LaMontagne
4.  If I Ain't Got You (Live) - Maroon 5
5.  You Might Die Trying (Live Wrigley Field) - Dave Matthews Band
6.  I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For (Live Milan) - U2
7.  My Wish - Rascal Flatts
8.  Keep It Lose, Keep It Tight - Amos Lee
9.  She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5
10. SkyFall - Adele

Bonus: Come Pick Me Up - Ryan Adams