I found this on my porch...
Guess whats fixed?
Yup.
I am SO happy to have my REAL camera back!

Miss Moxie weighs 9lbs 7oz... she has grown out of 3 of her little night gowns!
How do I know? Because I took her to the Dr again today (mostly because she has this icky rash, that come to find out is very common here in the desert-- i wouldn't have known that since my babies were all born in a humid climate!)
Crazylady was trying to rear her ugly little head again... but I was able to evict her out rather quickly!!
:>p nanny nanny billy goat! Take that Crazylady!!

Anyone who has known me for any amount of time knows what a giant chicken I am. I know. I exude confidence (not!). But, the truth of the matter is, I am afraid. Putting myself out there is, to me, one of the most terrifying thoughts.

When I was a Sophomore in high school, I got "chosen" to be the girl to give a speech in front of the entire student body for our Welcome Back assembly. I was in the Pep Squad, and we had to do a skit... i got to be the "lucky winner" who was the one to represent the squad. Why? I still don't know. I wasn't popular by any means... but there I was, with 1 other girl, in front of the whole school. I couldn't sleep the night before the big assembly. I was terrified. I did the little dealy, but my cousin later told me that I looked like a sour puss. (umm.. thanks?)
From that point on, I practice what I have to say. I have little convo's in my head... my family totally mocks me, cause I even use facial expressions. (jefe will ask me, who you talking to motherboard? i think i'm being all stealth... but i'm not. I totally still do it!) I don't ever want to be known as a sour puss.
Seriously.

My Senior year in high school, I got the lead in the play. I was ecstatic! I worked really hard... the whole time pushing out of my mind the fact that everyone and their DOG would be looking at me, watching me, listening to me. The big night came, and I got so freaked out at one point, that mid song the lyrics just left my brain. I could not for the life of me remember what I was supposed to be singing. For a teenager that is a death sentence! For a performer, a career breaker!! (remember David Archuletta's big mess up? AND Brooke Whites on AI?? Yeah. You see what mean?!) Now, I totally over prepare. I make sure there is no need for any help from anything. Whether that be a lesson I have to teach or a song I have to sing... I prepare and prepare and prepare. I never want to feel those same feelings again.

As an adult, putting myself out there to make friends is about more than I can handle at times. I read on someone else's blog, how they wanted to hang a comment sheet around their neck. Then, after meeting someone they could leave a comment "yes. i will be your friend. you're totally funny." or "No. I'll pass. Your breath stinks." That would be so much easier for me. I can deal with comments... I actually like comments. If you don't like me, thats ok... as long as you tell me in the comments. But, this whole muddling through, sniffing each other out deal is difficult, and at times heart breaking. That's why I was so sad to leave Illinois. It took me several years to figure myself out... to finally become comfortable in my own skin. I actually feel like Illinois is more my home than the place that I was raised.... Because Illinois is where I truly found myself, and became ME.
Make sense? I had/have amazing friends back there, that I had actually made all on my own. They liked me for me... not by "default". I had worked to make them, and keep them. To start that whole process over?
Gag.

I am afraid... afraid of failing... afraid. I pretend I don't care. But, really I do. There it is for the whole world to read. Don't judge me. Please. ( but if you have to, just do it in the comments!)

Fast forward to this morning.
I spent the better part of an hour at the Junior High School... hanging campaign posters for Thing 1. She is running for class officer, and is so excited about that! When I was her age, the thoughts of doing that sent me into a cold sweat... putting myself out there like that... to be judged. Am I liked enough to be your leader? (cause, lets be honest, Junior High School elections are totally only about popularity!) I helped on lots of campaigns, but to actually do anything for me? No way.

I was torn this morning. I am SO proud of her for not being afraid to put herself out there... to just TRY. But, I felt those familiar feelings of panic. Walking those same halls, putting up her posters, I had to hold back the tears. The 12 year old in me was screaming: "What if they don't like her? What if she fails? What if this breaks her heart? What if... what if... what if..." There are a million what if's!

Would it be totally unethical to go and take down all her competitors posters? I know. It would, and I wont. But, I totally want to. I want her to succeed. I want her to win. I also know that this part of being a parent... the letting them fly all on their own part... this is the part of parenting that totally just sucks.

So. Thing 1 is putting herself out there... and she's not afraid.
She's doing it. And I'm proud of her!
I hope the 12 year old in me can not be afraid either.

I have a major phobia. Its real and causes me great angst. I get panic attacks when I think about my phobia. When I hear certain sounds that remind me of my phobia or smell certain smells... Well. Lets just say its not pretty.

I hate dentists. Really, really hate them. Despise them... LOATHE them. I actually cry when I have to go have a cavity filled.
Yes. I. Do.
I cry when the Dentist has to fill my cavities. I am a grown 36 year old woman who cries when the Dentist starts working in her mouth.

Now, if you are a dentist or know a dentist, realize that its not you PERSONALLY that I hate. I just hate having them in my mouth. MY MOUTH people. That is one of the most sensitive areas on our body, and sometimes they go drilling around in there like they are working at a rock quarry.
So, imagine my HORROR as I am reading today's morning paper and see this:

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
As I was reading the article, and noticed the photo, I did a horrified double take and uttered a rather loud "No! Freaking! Way!"
As if I didn't already have enough ammunition for the Crazylady... now this??!

MY DENTIST has been arrested? The dentist that not only has drilled in my mouth, but the mouths of my children... arrested? The Dentist that has played with my children and has given shots to my children and pain medication to me??
ARRESTED?
The same dentist that wanted to pull out 5 of my teeth and put a bridge in? (and the 2, count them TWO second opinions I got told me he was off his rocker... I didn't get them pulled. But, did I continue going to him? yes. Am I retarded? Yes. I am now slamming my head against the wall...)

Was there a lesson learned??
Absolutely! Trust your instincts! (I had a weird feeling there... I just didn't acknowledge it).
So, Yeah.
I will be changing Dentists.
Pronto.

I just read about this book on the publishers website. I absolutely LOVE Mark Twain. He is such a wonderful author, and I love how he writes! I have a deep seated love affair with the mid-west, and love books that are centered there. This is the next book that I am going to tackle.

THIS website has a fantastic interactive thing going on (not to mention some AMAZING music that I have now been listening to for the past 30 minutes... and its driving Thing 1 crazy!) From my exploration of the site, it looks like it has all sorts of things available not only for teachers to use when they teach this book, but also book clubs. When authors, and publishers alike, offer this kind of material to us the readers... Well. I just get plain giddy with excitement. I like to read books that there is commentary avaliable. That way if I really like the book, I can get more insight into what the author was thinking.
Yes. I am a total nerd.
And proud of it!

I am in the middle of this book right now, and it is wonderful. I read it several years ago... but with the amount of books I read, the story lines have a tendency to run together. I should have this one done by the beginning of next week!

Just as a side note: I love the way he describes one of the characters with asthma. Me, being an asthmatic myself, was in awe at the analogies used. He nailed the descriptions of what it feels like when you can't breathe! I forgot how wonderful these descriptions were! My Dr explained it like this: Take a deep breath, then only let half of it out. Now, try to breath in again, but only let half of it out. Do this several times. That's what its like for a person who has asthma (are you trying that now? hee hee).


I am teaching the YW at church "How Firm a Foundation", sung to its original tune of "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" (hee hee are you trying to sing it to see if it works? It does. It's hard, but it does) Our theme for girls camp this year is STaND (stand for truth and new devotion) and this song is perfect... there is a wonderful story about the Pioneer Women at Haans Mill and the 7th verse of this song. I found out that when Emma Smith put this song in the 1835 Hymn Book, (which was written back in the 1700's) she put the last 5 verses in quotation marks. She thought that the first two verses sounded like a prayer coming from the singer, and the last 5 an answer from The Lord.
I love that!
When you sing the song, with this knowledge, the song (at least for me) will take on a whole new meaning. Especially verses #3, #5 and #7 :
v3:
"Fear not I am with thee; Oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand.

v5:
When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
They dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

v7:
The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes:
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I'll never, no never, no never forsake

So, with that information, I am having the girls sing the first 2 verses to the tune of "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" then we are transitioning into the tune we now use and singing verses 3, 5 &7. It should be lovely. I hope it has the effect that I can hear in my head. That is always the difficult part. I can hear how I want it to sound... but actually making that happen is sometimes more difficult. I am just now deciding that it needs a more dramatic ending than what the written hymn offers.

My friend, Sherrie, is playing the hymn for us in church, and doing a wonderful interlude. I bet (hint hint, nudge nudge) she will come up with something dramatic for the ending?! :>)

Thats my weekend. Nothing but reading, lots of warm, wonderful sunshine and music (and hopefully a ride on the new train!). Just a very pleasant weekend. What do you have planned?

"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote." - Emo Phillips

Are you listening to anything good??

1. Far Away - Nickelback
2. Robot Rock/Oh Yeah - Daft Punk
3. Lovesick Blues - Ryan Adams
4. I Don't Trust Myself (Loving You) - John Mayer
5. Times Like These - Jack Johnson
6. The Day Before You - Rascal Flatts
7. It's All Right To Cry - Darius Rucker
8. Margaritaville - Jimmy Buffett
9. Absolutely Zero (Live) - Jason Mraz
10. A Moment Like This - Kelly Clarkson

Bonus: When The Stars Go Blue - Tim McGraw

I feel like I am going to confession: Please forgive me, for I have sinned. It's been 2 weeks, 37 hours and 19 minutes since my last confession.
I love to read Dooce. There I said it. I do. I think she is a brilliant writer! And, she is like the QUEEN of the blogosphere! The Queen people!

It's hazardous for me to read her while I am eating my mini-wheats in the mornings... she makes me laugh out loud, sometimes causing me to spray milk out my nose. Really! She is great! She is an amazing writer, fantastic photographer, and just plain funny. Angry, but funny. I have been reading her for several years now, and just totally dig her. She is the blogger that lost her job because she was blogging about her job--- and her annoying boss.

There has been a lot of hub-bub over her. She is paid, a lot of money, to blog. How much money? Well, the Wall Street Journal is reporting that she makes over $40,000 a month. A MONTH! Just blogging. She gets over 4million hits on her blog... every month. ARE YOU SERIOUS?? I loved what she said she does with the "haters"... she prints out their comments/emails and then runs over them with the car. That sounds extremely therapeutic!

She was on the local Sunday news (channel 4) this past week talking about her blog, and Fox 13 news 2 nights ago, and Channel 2 news tonight.
Next week she is going to be on Good Morning America and Frontline!
All for blogging. Wow. That is SOME gravy train she has going there!

Please pray for my sister and her baby.
Thanks.

Excuse me while I find my jaw. It's somewhere here... on the floor.

Brooke White stayed????

Sigh. Her 15 minutes was over 14 minutes ago!

I have been messing around with some of my photos on that website, picnik.com... This place is a total blast and AMAZING!!
What do you think? I could REALLY get into this I think!! I'm wearing my sling with Moxie in it, so that i have both hands free to create!
Really.
I LOVE it!
I used to scrapbook all the time, but quit when I moved here. (no fun to do by myself!) But, after messing around with this software, I think that I could really get not only into the editing portion, but the digital scrapping too.
I LOVE this!

On Sunday, when I got up from my nap, (in my defense, remember I did just have a baby!) this is what I found.

Is it just me, is this entirely TOO many cups being used in an afternoon?
Yeah.
Thats what I thought.

When I heard that it was Andrew Lloyd Webber week, I'll be honest, I cringed. Now, before the stoning begins, let me offer up my defense. I love Andrew Lloyd Webber... but really. He is SO 15 years ago. There are a plethora of other Broadway composers that they could've chosen to do a "Broadway" show. I liked Phantom, but there are so many other shows that kick Phantoms butt. Really. They could have just had a Broadway night, and let the contestants choose from all the incredible choices available!

For instance we could start with the obvious of Wicked, Rent, Mama Mia, Avenue Q, Jersey Boys, Grease, Hair Spray, The Wedding Singer, Legally Blonde (hilarious!), Shrek, Spamalot... But what about Big River, Sweeney Todd, The Producers, Joseph's Technicolor Dreamcoat, Dreamgirls, Once on this Island, or The Secret Garden (where my son's name comes from!),
Movin' Out, Boy From Oz (!), Assassins, The Drowsy Chaperon... should I keep going, or have I made my point? Andrew Lloyd Webber is great! But, he is so yesterday!
(OK. Let the stoning begin!)
Anyway. Here are my favorites...



Good Grief! I totally LOVED what he did with this song! He completely rocked the house. I got little goose bump chills when he started to sing. I wouldn't mind him singing ME to sleep every night! I've said it ump-teen times, but really his voice is like Butta!
I would really like to get the entire song for my mp3 player!



Great! Balls! of Fire!
Carly was ON fire tonight! I usually don't like her either, but she was outstanding! Thing 3 kept telling me, "this is my favorite Mama! I like this one the bestest!" Again, she could totally kick it in a Musical. She has my vote!



I usually don't like her. In the past, when I have listened to her, it was like Karaoke Hell. But, this song style is HER! No matter what, she will be a hit on Broadway! She was fun to watch, and I could tell she was really enjoying herself!

Now. That being said. My man-- my boy, David Cook. I wasn't lovin' him. He disappointed me. He hit the notes, dead on, but... it just wasn't doing it for me. Which is sad, cause I really dig him!

And then Brooke. Oh Brooke. Why? I really like her folky style... but I have to agree with Simon. Her song WAS uncomfortable. I actually yelled out "Oh Brooke! What did you do?" Then I promptly changed the channel, I was so nervous for her.
Same with Jason Castro. I really didn't like his performance. Uncomfortable was putting it mildly!
It'll be interesting to see how it all plays out!

Jefe thinks that I am a pinko-commie because I *believe* in global warming... or climate change... or whatever the most PC thing is we are calling it. Whatever the "correct" name is today... Our earth is changing. I get that it won't always be the same, that this hunk 'o rock we live on is an ever changing vessel. Really, I do. However, how do you argue with the fact that the fish and birds are eating OUR garbage... our plastic bags, and bottle caps, and dolls? (yes. dolls.. they showed the insides of not only the fish bellies, but also seagull bellies-- the birds had tennis balls in them)

I watched a documentary on Sunday night on the discovery channel about Alaska. It was amazing! Alaska is such a beautiful place! My son is dying to go there... I don't know what it is he thinks he will do when he gets there... but nevertheless he wants to go. They showed what they predict the Alaska region to look like in 10 years if the polar melting continues at the rate it is now... shocking and mind blowing.

Then, last night I watched a thing on CNN about the nations water supply. They are predicting that if we keep using the amount of water we are now, here in the desert regions, that by 2021 Lake Mead will be a dry lake bed... as will Lake Powell. They said that in the last 20 years, it has dropped over 100 feet. That will then mean that by 2021, if we continue as we are now, there will be severe water rationing for the western states. 2021 people is not that far away. Putting it into perspective, Moxie will be 13 in 2021, and Thing 1 will be 26. Really Not that far away!
(Great balls of fire! Thing 1 will 26 in 13 years?? Oh the horror! That makes me sad... but thats a post for another day!) I poo-pooed this whole notion until I saw, with my very own eyes, the levels of Lake Powell.
Holy Cannoli Batman!
I had the same reaction when I saw the Great Salt Lake for the first time in several years... I can go to the very top of my street----> up there by the mountain----> and look down and see what used to be a thriving lake bed, but is now just dry, yucky muck! It is disconcerting to me.

Anyway.
I don't have the answers, but I do know that we are consuming and wasting too much. I would love to see some sort of "credit" available to people who turn their yards into more eco- friendly yards. My yard is huge, and to run the entire water cycle it needs to water, it takes 4 1/2 hours. Yes. You read that right. 4.5 hours! (i have just barely under an acre!)
That is a TON of water being used to make a desert area green. I'm embarrassed really by how much water it takes to keep my yard green.

We need to be doing more recycling. We need to stop using those obnoxious plastic bags-- and people, I am the worst. At one point, Jefe really wanted me to start using those recyclable grocery bags that you bring in with you. I bought some... and promptly let my kids play with them. I am the first to admit that I like my convenience, and when he was trying to get us to be more"green" with regards to our shopping habits, I thought he was on crack. That would take too much effort. However, after watching that little show about Alaska and then the water supply here in the desert... I think I may have to ramp up my conservation efforts. This is the only planet we have to live on... we need to be taking better care of her!

Holy Cannoli Batman! This guy has IT! I am starting to really dig this guy! He has style, and is not afraid to mix it up! I LOVE Simon's comment about Karaoke Hell... I was feeling his pain!



David. David. David.
Davey.
Butter!
The end.



I want an invite to that beach luau too!
I could listen to him all! night! long!
This song was awesome! Just mellow and my thing! I WAY DIG this song. I would totally download the entire album... if it sounded like this! YUM.
And those dreadlocks? The jury is still out. But, I am digging him more!

These are my favorites!
What are your picks?

I have signed the eviction notice.
Now. Lest you think that it was MY eviction notice... well it was. Sort of. You see, I have this Crazylady that likes to reside in my head.

She gets especially annoying after I have had a baby. She tries to convince me to do or think all sorts crazy things, and in all honesty, sometimes I do. She likes to convince me that everything is falling apart, and my life is being rapidly thrown in the pooper.
Really.
Isn't that depressing? And further quite annoying. I have been able to ignore this unwanted resident for quite awhile; however, these past couple of weeks, I swear, she has been working some serious overtime!
For instance, when ima10cow's baby was born, she weighed 9lbs 2oz and when Loubop's baby was born he weighed 7lbs 6oz. Nothing crazy in that right? Well. Crazylady started her campaign. Moxie was 7lbs 1 oz. Just a little petite thing to me, but not to Crazylady. You see, Loubop's baby gained about 2lbs in 2 weeks. Moxie gained 1lb. So, because she only gained 1lb, the Crazylady was trying to convince me that she had failure to thrive. I know retarded. However she was really working her mojo on me, and I'll be danged if I didn't fall for it! I was convinced that Moxie was not thriving so I sent my sister out to buy me a herbal supplements to take that increases your milk supply.
Yes. I. Did. (hear that? it's me, banging my head against the keyboard!)
I took herbs to make more milk... which in turn makes your boobs bigger (doh! I know. I have no one to blame for these size G's but me! ). Crazylady has THAT kind of power over me!
So. I now have these gigantic honkers, and Moxie has plenty of food to eat. That should quiet the Crazylady, right? Ohhh. NOoooo. You would be SO wrong. Now, because they are so huge, Moxie only needs to eat on 1 side to get full. Well. That gave the Crazylady all sorts of new ammunition. "See Motherboard? She only eats on 1 side, she SO has failure to thrive! She has no desire to eat on both sides. Oh Motherboard, when will you see the light? You need to do something about Moxie not eating on both sides... before she dies..."
Oh. Yes. She. Did.
She was still trying to convince me that since I now have enough milk to feed a small third world country, she was still failing to thrive because she couldn't eat on both sides.
Never mind the fact that her tummy is TINY!
I know. I know. As I am writing this, I too am shaking my head.
So. Crazylady took control. I started weighing myself. Then weighing me holding Moxie. I did this several times. But, I was convinced that the scale was wrong.
Then it happened.
Thing 1 broke her finger. (that came out of left field, didn't it?)
She did. And the Crazylady that was inhabiting my brain was all "Oh. We have to go to the Dr. now! oh! I know! I will get them to weigh Moxie."
Nothing about "Man Thing 1, that sucks that you broke your finger and can't bend it and its swollen and gross!" No. She was only thinking about getting Moxie weighed. But, in my defense, I did give Thing 1 all sorts of love and kisses and hugs. I was trying my hardest to evict that stupid woman residing in my brain!
Really. I was.
So, I took Thing 1 to insta-care to get her finger x-rayed, and a splint put on it. I was arguing rather harshly with the Crazylady about not wanting to look like a complete whack-job asking to have Moxie weighed. However, Crazylady won, and as I sheepishly asked the Dr. to weigh my baby I was thinking about how many times I was going to have to bang my head against the wall when I got home. The Dr was very accommodating, and weighed the baby.
She weighed 8lbs 8oz. and I took control again.

But, she again started to rear her ugly little head again when Moxie didn't poop for 3 days. "shes constipated, motherboard. you need to take her to the dr again motherboard. what if she explodes motherboard?"
Seriously! I know what you are thinking, 'cause I'm thinking it too-- Shut up already, you Crazy Crazylady!
But, I still worried. Fretted. Panicked. She's STILL not getting enough to eat?? is what that obnoxious woman had me thinking... (never mind the milk supply for 3rd world countries I'm carrying around!) I read everything I could find on a newborns poop cycle. (yes. that IS gross. I'm very educated on that topic now. AND--note to self, stay off the internet when crazylady is trying to convince you your baby is dying... nothing good comes from it!)
I was worried about massive explosions or something worse. Much much worse.
And then it happened.
She pooped. Boy oh boy. Did she EVER poop.
And thats when I realized that this woman, this Crazylady HAD to go. She was causing me too much stress.
No more squatting in my brain lady!! Go get your own freaking place!
So, I signed the eviction notice. She is no longer welcome here. Get out!
And so far she's gone.
Well.
That is until next time Moxie does something I'm not expecting.

p.s. Moxie weighs 9lbs 1 oz now. So take THAT Crazylady!
(this is me sticking my tongue out at her! :>p )

Too much of a good thing is wonderful! - Mae West

I have a brain full of randomness today, and so I am just going to put it all out there. I had wanted to do separate posts on some of this stuff... but seriously. That will take too long. Hang tight, we're going for a ride.

This whole Texas polygamy invasion deal has me conflicted... and irate. On one hand I find myself thinking that its about freaking! time! that someone did something about the underage marriages in polygamy. I think polygamy is sick. I don't agree with it and I actually have to ignore it all together or I find myself getting livid! The feminist in me starts freaking out when I think of the oppression that these women suffer. (although they do not feel they are "suffering or are oppressed") Jefe and I were listening to a CNN interview with a bunch of the women involved and after hearing them talk, and describe their lives... Jefe turned to me and said "You never make it in that lifestyle!"
Uhh. You think?
However he is right. Some of our biggest fights have been when I have felt he was trying to control me and tell me how to think, feel or act. Seriously, that does not fly with me. I am my own person. I will think and feel what I will. Now that being said, I also find myself thinking what in THE HELL! was Texas thinking just invading a settlement and taking 416 kids away? How are they going to provide for all of these children? They are the victims here. I realize that they are trying to help them... to save them. But, do they have the homes, counseling and resources in place to do so? These kids are just kids after all.
And further, why are they having 1 lump hearing? This is not a class action suit, which is what this hearing reminds me of. These are children. These are families. I may not agree with their lifestyle choices, but we have no right to separate entire families based on 1 accusation. it should be done on a case by case basis.
I am all about saving the kids-- as long as the abuse can be substantiated. (yes. underage illegal marriage does constitute abuse.) But, is it really possible that all 416 kids were being abused? I don't know. I'm just saying. Again, I do not support, advocate or condone polygamy. But these are families-- however weird they might be. They are families.
Why don't you weigh in on this little matter while I try and calm down!

Secondly. I am shocked to see so much hatred aimed at the Mormon religion. Polygamists are NOT Mormons. I think that if everyone would put their pitchforks away for a moment, and count how many churches have splinter churches... they would be astonished! Every church has splinter groups-- The Lutherans, The Methodists, The Baptists, and even The Catholics. The thing that is so shocking to me are the amount of people that feel that Mormons are not Christian (which, btw is NOT true--check out the name of the church-- its the church of JESUS CHRIST of latter-day saints! For petes sake!)
And that because they think that it should also mean that they (Mormons) should not be afforded the same freedoms or that the constitution does not apply to them. That is shocking to me. We have been a country that has espoused freedoms from the beginning of its organization. As a whole, I would dare say that this amazing country abhors discrimination and further that we are all about equal rights now. It has taken us a while, but I really do believe this is true. This is why I find the discrimination that occurs against people of the Mormon faith so perplexing. It would never fly, say if people were saying on a national radio station, that a Jew should not be given the same freedoms that everyone else did--- just because he is a Jew and not a Christian. There would be fury in our country. It would NEVER be tolerated. Why is it ok then for people to be so discriminate against Mormons? I find that just plain ignorant.

On to a more tame topic--Sort of.
I was talking with Jefe recently about our political views. They seem to be quite different on some things. As a whole, I think we agree on most stuff. But, he said something that made me want to wave my arms above my head like a crazy person and run from the room screaming. Jefe thinks Global warming is a hoax.
Gasp!!!
I know! Doesn't that make you want to run away screaming too? It does me. I am a believer! in global warming. I will never drive an SUV for that very fact. Ever.
I was SHOCKED! Really. Out of the two of us, I had always thought that he was the more environmentally conscious. I was also surprised at how mad I got over his admission about his lack of belief. I felt like we should run out to confession... "Father, Forgive him for he does not believe!"
Yet. I would dare say that Jefe is probably just as irritated with me and my views on gun control. I feel that there should be stricter laws on guns. (he is a BIG gun advocate) I like guns. I don't mind guns. I grew up shooting guns. However, I just think the laws need to be a little tougher. Especially in the state of Utah. Utah has some of the most lenient gun laws around. That bugs me.
Lastly. Did you hear that Orin Hatch has written a "campaign song" for John McCain?
Yes. He. Did.
It's called Together Forever. I know, I know. Blech! I saw it on the news this morning... take a listen-- the song starts around 1:05


Anyway. Is anyone even still reading this post? The whole point of Random 10 Friday is to show you what came up all random like on my mp3 player. Well. Here it is! Its going to be 70 today. I pulled out the flip flops and the short sleeves and I think I'll go to the park!
What are you listening too?

1. White Dove - Starsailor
2. I'll Fly Away - Alison Krauss/Gillian Welch
3. Come Alive - Foo Fighters
4. Waiting On The World To Change(featuring Ben Harper) - John Mayer
5. Pretty Paper - Chris Isaak
6. Low - Coldplay
7. Would You Please - Rachael Yamagata
8. On The Way - Yiruma
9. Gravity - Sara Bareilles
10. Prayin' For Daylight - Rascal Flatts

Bonus: Someday We'll Know - New Radicals

I can't believe that Moxie is 1 month old today. Where did all that time go? It seems like just yesterday that I was sitting in a hospital room... rather scared. I kept watching Jefe, wondering if we really had thought this decision to bring another critter into the world entirely through. I'm not sure why I was so nervous about this baby... she was a healthy little girl. But, I was entirely terrified. My MIL showed up at our house at 7:00am to take care of my other kiddies, so that we could go to the hospital and get 'er done.
When she walked into the kitchen, I was sitting there eating some breakfast... she started laughing. "I can't believe you are sitting there eating when you are going to go have a baby." Really, that shouldn't have shocked her. I have such an unhealthy relationship with food... but I told her that I was starving and I had no idea how long I was going to be in labor, and I didn't want to spend the next 2 days starving. I probably shouldn't have eaten, but I was NOT going to go there hungry. That would have only made my grumpiness later on worse. (Don't mess with the motherboard when she's hungry).

Anyway.
We walked in, and there were no introductions. No pleasantries... it was all business. "Go in the bathroom, and change into this"... I was a little shell shocked. Weren't we going to shoot the breeze first? Get to know each other a little better? Sing a round of Kumbaya or something? But, I was a good little patient. I got into my designer (not) gown, and jumped up on that bed (which, was actually quite comfortable). Jefe and I kept looking at each other, shooting the breeze about weird stuff... like the fact that in Japan you can be cremated, and then used as fertilizer. Really. They use your ashes and plant them with a tree... in your honor. I told Jefe that I thought that sounded pretty good. Or, the fact that his Mom wants to be buried in a bio-degradable casket. When Jefe's Dad died, she made me promise that we would bury her in something bio-degradable. (i asked her if she meant cardboard, and she smiled and said, yes. thats perfect!) Somehow, that conversation evolved into including our Nurse, and we discovered that her brother lived in my stake out in Illinois, and I actually knew of them. Jefe started shaking his head and was all "Seriously. Do not play the 'do you know game' with Motherboard... she will always win." I know, its weird. But, true... everywhere we go, I can find someone who knows someone that I know... The 6 degrees of separation is VERY REAL!

Anyway. They gave me an IV (which Jefe almost passed out from. He stayed over there---> really far away---> on the other side of the room---> while they were giving me the IV. When it was over, he came over to comfort me because that thing hurt like a freaking pistol beating! He took one look at the blood still on my arm, and swayed back over there---> and stayed there for awhile!) Then they started the antibiotic cocktail and shortly after started the Pictosin. (at 8:45) The Dr came in to check me at 9:00. I was dilated to a 2, however I had not effaced at all. He was doing his darnedest to convince me to let him break my water. I kept telling him if he broke my water, we would have a baby within 2 hours. (when my water broke with Thing 3, I was at a 2-- and 55 minutes later I was holding a little baby. I SERIOUSLY did not want to do that again!)
He kept telling me that we wouldn't go that fast. We sort of had a little argument. The nurses kept assuring me that I should just let him break my water, because even doing that, we would be here at least until 5pm. (WHAT? Grrreat!)
No rush.
We had all day.
So, I let him break my water, which I might add felt like he was trying to pick my nose. Really. I was trying really hard not to kick him across the room! At one point, I told him that his little crochet hook was picking my nose on its way to my brain... Oh. Wait. There it was, in my brain now. He should be extra careful -- up.there.in.my.brain. -- because there wasn't much there to begin with.
Anyway.
I had been telling the Dr. that when I showed up at the hospital, I really wanted the Anesthesiologist to just meet me at the entrance, and give me the epidural while he wheeled me up to L&D.
He laughed.
I told him I was serious. (No one met me at the elevator with drugs, btw.) Yet, as I sat there, post brain/nasal cleaning, I was feeling pretty good. I wasn't feeling anything, and thought that maybe this would be easy. At 10:00, they came around telling me that the anesthesiologist had me next on his list to give the epidural to. I was feeling rather tough, and said "Hey. No biggie. I'm doing great! I can go for maybe another 2 hours!" (Jefe was arguing with me, and I just gave him the look-- you know the one?! The 'don't mess with the pregnant lady in labor' one?!)
So. They kicked the Pictosin up a notch. Yeah. I started dying. Like really hurting, dying. Kill me now dying. I think secretly the nurses wanted to show me who's in charge... It worked. I as begging them for the epidural. They went and got the God of Medicine. He was such a happy man, whistling down the hall. I had heard him earlier, whistling, and thought to myself "Will someone please shut the whistler up? I'm trying to have a baby here!" But, now that I was in the throes of pain, and realized that the whistler as the God of Medicine... well. The closer that whistling came to me, the closer I was to ecstasy. Know what I mean? The nurse came in first, and told me to get up and sit on the side of the bed. As I am doing this, I catch a glimpse of the Medicine God...
ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME???
I groaned really loud and looked at Jefe and said "I went to High school with him." Medicine God heard me, and goes "Yeah. I thought you looked familiar. How ya doin' Motherboard?"
Grrreeeeaaaaattttt. Now one of my high school classmates is going to get to see my gigantic rear end! Just what I've always wanted! He was clearly in a very good mood, and proceeded to tell me about all our classmates that were in the medical field (like I cared right then! it felt like my insides were exploding!) and what everyone was doing. I was really scared, because as anyone who knows me knows, I am a GIANT boo-waa baby. I HATE pain. I avoid pain. I kept asking him how much it was going to hurt. He proceeded to then tell me about the size of the needle, and how he used the needles to operate on himself when he gets ingrown toenails. (ewww!! gross! ) Jefe started laughing when I told him maybe we should try and score us some of those! But, really. How much was this going to hurt, Medicine God? Medicine God started to chuckle, and said:"I can tell that you are really scared. Just hold really still and this will all be over before you know it." What if I have a contraction? "Just keep holding still. Don't be afraid. Fear is funny thing... (this is Medicine God still talking to me... giving me pep talk now) Just let go of your fear. Then you will be fine. The only thing you have to fear is the fear itself..."
I turned my head and said: "Seriously Dude. You need to shut up now!" Everyone started laughing and the nurse was all, He has a big needle in your back, you should be nice. I looked at her and was all: "He needs to shut up right now, and get that damn needle where it needs to be." Jefe just stood there and laughed at me. If I didn't love him so much, and feel sorry for him and his own needle issues, I probably would've punched him. However, in my defense, once that medicine kicked in... I was rrreeeaaaally nice again. And weird too. I commented to my nurse that I was relieved that he just got to see my giant crack and not my hoo-haa. That would've been even more embarrassing! (can you just see Jefe saying: See?! I told you. Do not play the 'do you know game' with Motherboard!)

I promptly took a nap. I was exhausted. That was hard work... feeling pain and yelling at everyone! That epidural was very effective! I couldn't move anything. I was convinced that the nurses had left my leg in an upright position. Jefe kept telling me that it was just laying there all flat. No. I kept telling him. Its up. Its bent. Its weird. (No. You're weird, motherboard.)
They checked me again at 11:30, and I was only at a 5, and only 50% effaced. They were like "Yeah. See. We told you we would be here until at least 4 or 5pm. We'll come back and check you again around 1 or 1:30pm" I told them that I was freezing... I was shaking profusely. I remembered from my natural birth experience doing the same thing, and wondered if I was in transition. They were all no, (again, you're just weird) we'll get you another blanket. I laid there and shook, and tried to sleep when I felt something VERY weird in my thigh. I told Jefe that something weird was going on in my thigh. He just looked at me and I am sure was thinking, "Lady. You are stoned. Be quiet." He very kindly said "You can't feel anything in your thigh... you have an epidural." No. Really. I feel something... I was pulling my blanket back to show him my thigh when I SAW my thigh move. Really. I did. It moved, and it felt like someone was kicking it from the INSIDE! The nurse came in, and Jefe told them that I was feeling something in my thigh. (we know. she's on drugs right now) The nurse said she would check me again at 1:30 (it was about 12:30 now). They proceeded to put the 2nd round of antibiotic in minus the "Cocktail" and I FREAKED OUT. They left me there... in.pain.
Seriously.
It felt like my arm was on fire. Jefe finally went and got them to come and take the medicine out, and while they were there would they please check me?
When the nurse did check me, she was all: "Oh My." and ran and got the other nurse to check me. She did, and responded "Oh. My! You have a baby right there! I'm glad you insisted we check you, or you would've been delivering this on your own!" (Oh My is NOT something you want to hear from your nurse when you are in labor!) She turned to other nurse and told her to bypass the calling, page the Dr. 911 to get here now. They all quickly started gathering all their tools together, while I started panicking! What did they mean? I had a baby "there"? They wanted me to start pushing?? Really?
I started crying to Jefe. "I don't want to push all day. I'm not ready to push. What is going on." Jefe was so kind and just held my head and told me to be strong, that it was time. I could then hear the Dr running down the hall telling everyone, "I should have listened to the mother!" He came in gasping for breath, and quickly changed into his scrubs. This is where I totally freaked out... I saw this leg getting lifted and swung (like a Barbie leg, I might add) up into the stirrups. I remember thinking: "Who in the heck do THOSE legs belong to? and why are they wearing my socks??" I completely freaked out when it dawned on me those were MY legs, and MY socks... and I couldn't feel anything.
Nothing.
Squat!
How, exactly, did they expect me to push a baby out when I couldn't even feel someone touching my legs?? (at that point I started begging them to turn off the epidural!) My Dr -- who, come to find out is also my COUSIN... (yeah. don't even try the game with me. I will always win) -- was totally excited! I was just crying. He told me to push, so I did my best. Then he said, "The contraction has stopped, lets wait for the next one. I'll tell you when to push. Oh. Wait. Never mind. She's birthing herself. Here's her head. Oh. There's her shoulder. Here's your baby. She birthed herself!"
Yeah, so I pushed once.
Just 1 time.
Yes.
I AM totally proud of that fact!

I sat there and cried and cried. She was/is beautiful. I couldn't believe how smooth it had all been. Jefe had been teasing me for the majority of the pregnancy that it would be really great if I could get the whole birthing thing done before lunch. Well Jefe, is 1:00pm close enough to lunch for you?? From start to finish, this whole birthing thing took 3 hours. Pretty slick! Don't you think? The Dr. kept telling me: "She is fine! Everything you we were worried about didn't happen!" (there had been a lady in my neighborhood whose baby died when he delivered it! needless to say I was totally freaked out! ) I had been freaked out, and I didn't realize how much until I heard that little one cry!
Hindsight is awesome. It gives a person so much insight... or ability to change.
I can say now that the fear was real! I felt like I had a bullseye on my chest... I was just waiting for something tragic to happen. Thank the all mighty that nothing has. Moxie has been a complete joy. The feeling she carries with her is still there... she is such a peaceful child. She is content to watch the world... rarely complaining. What a blessing for our family she has been! I have to say that having this baby has actually been so easy. I was a total freaker after I had Thing 3... Having 3 kids really threw me for a loop... We were now totally out numbered, and they could totally mutiny on us--- AN WIN!
Having said that, Moxie has been a complete joy. She has been an answer to my prayers. I was devastated when I lost my baby back in 2006... Moxie has filled the "void" that I had been feeling. She has been an amazing addition to our family. She still rarely cries. She likes to watch and see what everyone is doing. She is so peaceful, and that peacefulness that is her, radiates through my home. We labored over her name. Quite literally. We just couldn't come up with names that we BOTH liked. I think we actually started picking names that we knew would bug the other one. We settled on 1 name, its meaning is 'Wisdom'. However, when she was born, and I saw how content she was, I was insistent that her first name be the one that meant 'delightful, adornment or paradise'... because when we are all with her, she makes us feel like paradise, and we are all happy. The kids love her, and they love the way she makes them feel.
She has started smiling-- spontaneously. I have heard her laughing in her sleep lately (that is hard to miss, since I hold her ALL.THE.TIME!) and I can't wait until she does that spontaneously too!
So. Miss Moxie is 1 month old today. She is such a blessing, and brings much needed peace to our home. I am excited to see where these little feet will take her!

You Belong in 1989

Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.

"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."
- Andy Rooney

I saw the weather report today, and I thought I just might do a back flip and then the splits! Really.
We are supposed to have mid to upper 70's this weekend!!
Oh yeah!

~This is me doing the moon walk, and then the disco point & sway - swing!~


I am SO ready for warmer weather... I am an outside person. I love to be outside. (when i was in college, i had a really hard time deciding on career/major-- because all I really wanted was to just be outside!) When its warm, I even prefer to read outside. My neighbors think its weird... I know this because their kids have told me that they talk about Motherboard sitting on her porch like we live in the ghetto reading... (I think I'll do it more now, and add a couch and some hound dogs too!)
Anyway. It will be nice to have some warmer weather, so that we can all get outside!
Have a most splendid day!

1. Call Me When You're Sober - Evanescence
2. Rockstar - Nickelback
3. Stand - Rascal Flatts
4. Clocks - Coldplay
5. Keep Your Mind Wide Open - AnnaSophia Robb
6. Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5
7. Man In The Mirror - Michael Jackson
8. I Wanna Be Your Lover - Prince
9. Wonderwall - Ryan Adams *i so have a music crush on him*
10. Can't Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe - Barry White

Bonus: 83 - John Mayer

It's not often that I have a list of favorite things. Really. I am a simple person. I *HATE* hate hate shopping. I find it boring and I just really hate it. I think, secretly, it drives Jefe nuts cause I just don't go out and buy new clothes. Well. That is until I have NOTHING to wear. He is always complaining that I need to just go buy what I need when I need it. Rather than waiting until I'm in crisis mode cause I have no clothes, or underwear, or makeup or whatever.
Anyway.
I have a list of favorite things that I want to share. They are my newest finds... and if you are a blogger like me, or take pictures or use the computer for any amount of time... you will LOVE my new favs. I promise!


Starbucks steamers
More specifically Vanilla Almond Steamers. Holy Cannoli Batman! This is a seriously wondrous treat! (its just furiously fast whipped milk with any flavor you want in it!)
I can see why so many people go to Starbucks every day to get their Mocha cream venti latte. Seriously. I also LOVE Barnes & Nobles Godiva Hot Chocolate.
Oh Man.
If you are in need of a hot treat... a steamer or Godiva Hot Chocolate will send you to another world.
REALLY.
It's that good!

Finetune.com
Holy cow! I am loving this website. Just because I am a freaker about music, and this site is wicked awesome. You can type in an artist, it will play that artist, and then play others like it. I actually like this site better than pandora.com, because you can create your play lists, and put them on your blog. I find this site easier to navigate than projectplaylist.com too. It's my new favorite music listening site! Give it a try, and see what you think!

Picknik.com
I love to take photos, but I am not savvy in Photoshop. It's on my list of things to learn, but seriously... I just don't have the time right now. I wanted a simple photo editing tool that I could use, and this website seems to be it. I found it through a blog that I read, and I have to say that I am 100% impressed. Picnik is easy to use, and a quick learn! They have the cropping tools that I have been craving, and the black & white tools too. I am TOTALLY digging this site... its awesome! I have been having a blast messing around with my photos. I think I see how I will be spending my free time from now on (ha. what free time?)

Check this out I went from this photo:






Seriously... Need I say more? I totally dig this song. It is a happy song, and makes me just be-bop around whenever I hear it!
I want a new soul... don't you?

Lastly, this is how I want my hair cut next week... I think. I LOVE Kristen Chenoweth, and I love her new haircut (from Pushing Daisies -- this show is awesome! You should totally watch!). I totally wish that getting her haircut would make me BE her... sigh. But, I do think I want my hair like this (sans the knife, of course!)... as long as it only takes 15 minutes or less (OK Harmoni??)

Or Victoria Beckhams... I dunno. What do you think?

I got tagged by my friend Sherrie. This tag was fun, because I had several books sitting right by me when I got this one... so I actually looked at all the books to find the best sentence. Is that cheating? Oh well. Who cares!

Here are the rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book (at least 123 pages)

2. Turn to page 123.

3. Find the 5th sentence

4. Post the 5th sentence on your blog

5. Tag 5 people

"I wish the good things in life weren't all clustered together when you were little."

I actually just got this book from the library yesterday. I am on a Jodi Picoult kick lately, and I am excited because she has so many books that I haven't read yet. I have read 5 of her books, and she has like 20 novels. YEAH! I am anxiously waiting for my turn on the hold list for her new book, Change of Heart.
I just finished her book Vanishing Acts... It was really good, however, I did not like the wrench that she threw into the ending plot of this one. I like the fact that she tosses things up at the end of her books, but I didn't like this one.
And really, if the truth be told, I think any parent put in that situation would have done the same thing. It was a good read.

So. There you have it. I now tag Ashley, Michelle, Circe, Tiffany and Liz.

ps. I have to totally give a shout out to goodreads.com... it is a fantastic sight to keep track of what people are reading, have read and to get ideas on things to read.
LOOOOOVVVEEEE IT! (said in my best dragon tales- zach and weezy voice!)

I LOVE the photos of Thing 1&2 that my Dad took. The lighting is perfect! He is an amazing photographer! He seriously has like 10,000+ photos... I keep begging him to give me disk with photos of his on it... He has done this series of photos from his travels of an empty chair etc... they are freaking AMAZING! I am hoping to get copies made and hung up in my house. IF he shares... (wink wink, nudge nudge...)
I will share with you (if he says it's OK...) I promise! I think he should start a shop and sell his photos there... they are THAT amazing.
Anyway...
I don't have a scanner (yet) so, I had to be "creative" and take a picture of the pictures... I know. That is SO tacky. But, these are 2 photos that I love and wanted to share them for wordless Wednesday (which, BTW, is becoming less wordless as of late).
These people, my children, I am so grateful for. They complete my life. Just looking at them makes me all happy and glowy inside!
Enjoy your rainy Wednesday people.

I had to copy a blog that I frequent, rocksinmydryer, and post this video too. I have been feeling a little blubbery today. Mostly because I found out earlier this morning that my visiting teachers daughter had her baby this weekend, however, her baby died before making her grand entry. My heart is breaking for this sweet little family. I know this girl... I have known this family for years (I went to high school with their oldest son, and did many a musical with them), and this is just a tragedy. What makes this even more bitter is the fact that at the beginning of March, we had another family in our ward have a baby... and that sweet baby returned to heaven only after 3 short days of life. I think this is a parents worst nightmare... outliving their children.

I feel so blessed that my little Moxie is here, she is healthy and she is growing. She WAS up all night last night, but honestly. I will take that over any other alternative.
So.
Watch that video, my internet friends (make sure you have kleenex... you WILL cry! Unless you have a heart of stone!). Then, make sure you hug and kiss all your kiddies and hold them extra tight while you say a prayer of gratitude!
Then go and tell your Daddy that you love him too.
That's what I am going to do today.

My cousin, Ashley, tagged me. I must say that I was thrilled. I had, however, done that particular tag, so I am stealing one from my friend Sherrie.
So. Here goes folks!

1. Where is you cell phone? I dunno... should I call it?
2. Significant other? Jefe
3. Worst bad habit? yelling
4. Hair? limp
5. Favorite Food? Mexican, diet coke (caffeine free thanks!) and candy
6. Your favorite thing? Family
7. Your dream last night? weird
8. Favorite drink? too hard
9. Dream/goal? Happiness
10. Room you are in? office
11. Your ex? Huh?
12. Your fear? death
13. Where you want to be in 6 years? Happy
14. Where were you last night? My parents house
15. What you're not? crazy... I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!
16. Muffins? Corn bread thanks!
17. Wish list item? finished basement
18. Where did you grow up? tricky... home town? or where did I find myself?
19. Last thing you did? vacuumed the entire house
20. What are you wearing? black... its slimming you know!
21. Your TV? OFF!
22. Your pets? crazy boxer dog
23. Your computer? old
24. Your life? good!
25. Your mood? happy & content
26. Missing someone? Yes
27. Your car? paid for
28. Something you are not wearing? Socks
29. Favorite store? Kohls
30. Your summer? not wearing shoes, swimming! BBQs and outdoors!
31. Love someone? YES
32. Last time you laughed? yesterday
33. Last time you cried? Saturday

Now, I tag whoever wants to play. I won't be offended if you don't. Really. I won't. I promise. I'll just go hide under the covers... No biggie. Really. No pressure.
If you do happen to play, give me a shout out!