I have a dirty little secret. Wanna hear?

Come closer. Closer. Just a little bit closer.

{looks around}

I heart Lost. Not only do I heart Lost, but I HEART Lost. I wanna marry Lost. I wanna curl up around Lost every single night and hold it's creepy Lostie hand and sing Muskrat Love . . . All night long.

Michael Emerson is the best bad guy I have ever seen. Man, that dude is creepy. But, creepy in a good creepy way. Like, let me hold your creepy hand way. In real, he seems rather charming. That is, until he reads Little Boy Blue.


Did I tell you, or did I tell you? He is brilliant!

What are your theories? What does lie in the shadow of the 4 toed statue? Does Jack tell Chang about the purge, so that's why he banishes Miles and his mom, Lara? What does Sawyer and Juliet do with the beady little eyed tattle tale? Then, the biggest question of all . . . DANIEL FARADAY! When did he freakin' leave the island? Where (when) in the hell has he been?

And Hurley? Dude. He rocks. (and the Ewoks did suck!)

Talk amongst yourselves.

This book was absolutely incredible! Suzanne Collins has created a mind boggling post "humanity" world. The United States is gone and what is left is the country of Panem, divided into 12 colonies or districts. The government is controlling the various districts and wants them to always remember who has the ultimate power-- them, the government.

They create The Hunger Games where each district sends tributes: 2 children a boy and a girl to fight ala gladiator style-- to the death. All of this televised on TV-- with people cheering on their favorites and taking bets. The winner getting glory and much needed supplies sent to their district.

Its the latest, greatest version of "reality TV"... gone wrong.

The book is intense, mind boggling and gut wrenching. Yet there were times where I laughed right out loud. I was nervous for the games to begin. How can a society that watches children killing children be humane?

I was completely hypnotized. The book is addicting-- I had to keep reading. I had to continue to see how it all plays out. I knew it wasn't real, and and yet I was completely transported into the land of Panem and truly believed that I was there-- in the arena with Kat, fighting for my life.

It has been a long time since a book as grabbed me and transported me into its world. The Hunger Games did just that. For days after, I would find myself thinking about Kat and Peeta. I would hear a strain of familiar music and immediately think that it would be perfect in this scene, or that.

It has enough suspense, horror and the requisite love triangle to make for a perfect read. I could have turned around and started again with this book-- finding new discoveries with each turn of the page.

The author has created a believable future. I found myself often thinking "Just how far are we from something like this? What will 100 more years bring?" Don't believe me? Take a look at the reality shows on cable.

This book is billed for "young adult" readers, but that would imply that it was "meat head" reading, or that you would not need a brain to follow along. (Which is how a lot of people view young adult fiction.) Collins writing is smart. How else do you explain the humor that Katniss displays; a person being stung to death by gigantic wasps and adult compassion as Katniss "saves" someone from mutant werewolves?

Collins, like J.K.Rowling, is not your typical, predictable young adult author. I for one, cannot wait for Book Two.


View all my reviews.

Jefe has been complaining that there has been too much blah blah blahing on this blog and not enough photos of the kids. So, please pardon me while I indulge him. He seems to think this blog is for his visual enjoyment.

Whatever.



















Happy?

"Not enough gets said about the importance of abandoning crap." — Ira Glass

When I was moving all 1,067 blogs to the new website, I spent the entire weekend with Ira Glass. Strangely, I find him rather attractive. He's my pretend boyfriend . . . my pal.
We're { t h i s t h i c k }. I want him to read me a bedtime story every night. I just love to listen to Ira and his friends as they tell all their stories.

Sigh.

I suppose that really I am a fan of stories, and This American Life has the best stories around! I have listened to This American Life for years, but last weekend I listed to every single episode on their Our Favorites page. Although the moving of all the blogs was copy-paste-time-consuming-tedious, Ira made it rather enjoyable.

If you haven't had a chance to listen to This American Life, do it now. You have been missing out on an hour of pure enjoyment and the most perfect storytelling around. Sheer Brilliance!
(check out Music Lessons or The Ghost of Bobby Dunbar. Or maybe Switched at Birth . . . Hell. They're all great!)

*****
Moxie has discovered the joy of The Backyardigans. As soon as the music starts on that show, she is pointing, dancing and twirling. When the show starts, everyone starts wandering in from where ever they have been, to watch the show with Moxie. They are sort of glued to the TV... Backyardigans has some serious mind control skillz, and I want in on that action!

*****
For reasons unknown to me, Moxie decided that last night was the perfect night to have an all night party. Typically, I am all for those sweet, all night parties with her. But last night? Not so much. Mostly because I actually took a sleeping pill ... and was sleeping.

Five-thirty rolled around, and she was still partying. We finally fell asleep for a hour and a half, and then I had to get up to go be the family alarm clock. Guess what Moxie did at 8:30 this morning? She went down for her nap. A full three hours early. I suspect its going to be a long day.

*****
Poor Thing 3 has no scrapbook. I mean she has 3 pages... so really it doesn't count. She asks on a rather regular basis "Where's my scrapbook mama?" Thing 1 & 2 each have several books-- but then I went all digital and I have no idea how to digi scrap. BUT. I found all sorts of premade digital templets where all I have to do is drag and drop. No fiddling, no trying to make paper-- just drag and drop. I have been screaming through her photos, and she is finally getting a book. It's sweet people. I can see why so many people have turned to digi scrapping. You can get WAY more done in WAY less time. And there is no mess.

I think I am gaining a testimony of the truthfulness of Digi Scrapping.

*****
Speaking of gaining a testimony . . . I was sent the most incredible pedicure package from culturessalon.com to try and review. Can I just say HOLY COW, people?! Divine heaven, if I say so myself! Without a shadow of a doubt, and with every fiber of my being I can say that Cultures Salon flavor of the month is true! It has rocked my world, and forever changed my feet!

If you have read me for any period of time, you know that my last home pedicure was disastrous. But, Cultures Salon was not. Oh my, No siree! It was sheer bliss! I plan to write a more in depth review after I get back from Women's Conference. Cultures Salon was just featured on Studio 5's Fresh Finds and they are having some seriously fun giveaways right now on their blog. Go check it out!

*****
Speaking of Women's Conference . . . I leave in less than 6 days. I cannot wait. I'm headed down with my sister and Mom. We're going to eat lots of good food, sleep in comfy Marriott beds, digi scrap (and blog of course) and hear inspiring talks.
Jealous?

*****
That's all the randomness I could muster up today in my sleep deprived state. Have a great weekend!
I'm eating Cafe Rio for dinner.
YUM.
And folding laundry.
Gag.

Catch ya on the flip side!

1. Feels Like Today - Rascal Flatts
2. Lost! - Coldplay
3. All The Wild Horses - Ray Lamontagne
4. San Francisco Days - Chris Isaak
5. Jack and Diane - John Mellencamp
6. Love On The Rocks - Sara Bareilles
7. Take Your Mama - Scissor Sisters
8. Cecilia - Simon & Garfunkel
9. Listen - Amos Lee
10. Baby, Now That I've Found You (live) - Alison Krauss

Bonus: Times Like These - Jack Johnson

When I first moved to Illinois, we lived in the country. We were only 45+ miles out of Chicago, but that was just enough distance to be in middle of Middle America. Everywhere you looked, you could see miles and miles of corn fields.

There were no mountains for the clouds to climb, so those clouds hung low. I saw up close and personal what that familiar song says: "amber waves of grain..."
It is beautiful.

Many a night I would be serenaded to sleep by all the sounds of country life. I could hear the critters starting to prowl and the crickets beginning to sing. The owls beginning their hunts and in the distance the whistle of a train. But the most memorable sound was that of the passing cars on Route 38. It went right past my house and late at night, I could hear a car coming for miles.

Sometimes there would be the ba-donk, ba-donk, ba-donk of the car veering too close to the edge of the road. Sometimes that ba-donk, ba-donk, ba-donk would go on for quite sometime and I would always wonder if they had fallen asleep.

It was so peaceful to fall asleep out in the country. If I timed it just right, I could see out my bedroom window and listen to my serenade and watch the magical light show performed just for me by the resident fireflies that lived in the cornfield behind my home.

There is a feeling I would get when I would lay down to bed at night, having witnessed my magical light show, and heard the beginning strums of my familiar song. I called it "the feeling". Do you know the one I'm talking about? It's "the feeling" you get when you are so peaceful and happy that you just KNOW this is what heaven will be like.

It's been a long time since I've had that feeling.

Last night as I lay in bed with my windows open, for the first time in 3 years I heard the beginning refrains of my nighttime serenade. I heard the sounds of the night creatures coming to life. I heard the distant whistle of a train and the familiar refrain of ba-donk, ba-donk, ba-donk. I drifted off to dreamland with the feeling lingering in my mind and for just that moment, the one between slumber and wakefulness, it felt like home.

Here's the skinny: Several of you have emailed asking why I quit following you. I didn't. I just took all the blogs I was following to anonymous. Why? Because it took the pressure off me. Yes, it was self induced pressure, but pressure none the less. I am still following you, reading along in google reader. Sometimes I even pop over to comment.

So, don't fret. You didn't really loose a follower.
You just can't see me anymore.
But I'm there... Silently watching you.

(That's sort of creepy when I type it like that.)

Here is a question that I am seriously considering hiring the professionals to figure out for me.

There could be 20 rolls of toilet paper sitting on the back of the toilet, and NO ONE will ever take the old roll off and put a new roll on. They will just open up roll after roll of T.P. until all 20 rolls have been partially used, and no roll will be on the toilet paper holder.
Why?
Why is this?
What is the aversion to putting the new roll of toilet paper on the toilet paper holder? I don't understand.

THAT'S WHAT IT'S FOR!

Seriously people. What is the deal with this??

I have been listening to Amos Lee for years. He is an artist that has flown completely under the radar, and his backup singer /piano player from his debut album is more famous than he is. She sings back up on several of his tracks.

He is able to blend blues, soul, jazz and folk in such a natural way. He is reminiscent of Jack Johnson, or John Mayer and his voice reminds me of a cool Midwestern evening. I know. That sounds weird, but whenever I listen to him. . . my mind wanders to warm evenings in the Midwest, with fireflies blinking and the sun slowly setting. I can see it in my minds eye. Peaceful, happy, warm nights with Amos. He paints vibrant pictures with his music. It is the kind of music that causes me to contemplate and think, and it is wonderful driving music. It is music that compels me to write. His music is memory inducing music.



I remember hearing him on David Letterman a few years ago, and being quite excited! Then there was that AT&T commercial using his song Sweet Pea. It didn't click that it was Amos until I was listening to his album again. He played on Austin City Limits (!) -- which I would give my eye teeth to see! He has also been featured on episodes of The House, Studio 60, Just Like Heaven, Six Degrees, ER and a season finale of Greys Anatomy.

I love his songs Shout Out; Colors; Careless; Keep it Loose, Keep it Tight; and Southern Girl. In all honesty, I would be hard pressed to say which of his many songs are my favorite. They all play easy on my ears, and are subtle, simple, sultry and superb!

Give him a listen and see if you don't fall madly in love as well.

There has been a really big reason why I haven't been out visiting all of you lately. HUGE reason. Besides the fact that I have been trying to get my house put back in order from the painting and finishing of the basement, there has also been this little thing called MMB. It's a little pet project that landed in my lap, and I have really grown to love it. This little pet started growing. It grew bigger and bigger and bigger, until suddenly a new home was needed for my little pet.

For the last, I don't even know how long, I have been working along side MomBabe getting the site ready to upgrade. If I do say so myself, it is freaking sweet!

I emailed MomBabe just to bounce all of my ideas off her-- because I knew that she blogged at some pretty exclusive sites. She knows her stuff, and I wanted to see if what I wanted for the MMB was possible, but also not crazy or lame. Everything I told MomBabe that I wanted to do, she already knew how to do . . . and how to do it better! It was incredible!

I am excited to announce that MMB has become a dot com! There is an interactive community attached to the MMB now where you can chat, email, promote your blog and have entertaining discussions with all of the bloggers that you love to read! Just a better way to stalk you with, my dears!

Each category on the MMB has their own page and you can get there from the drop down menus. No more scrolling through hundreds of blogs to find your favorite blog. You will find them not only alphabetized, but the most recently updated as well. I had my non-blogging friends give the site a test run-- and they were able to navigate around it quite nicely!

I promise that I will start visiting you again now that this big project is out of the way. I moved all 1,067 blogs to their new homes, and was inspired by all the amazing blogs there are out there. It sounds kind of cheesy to say that, but its true. Out of all the 1,067 blogs, there was only one that MomBabe and I were like "WTH??" and promptly deleted it from the blogroll.

There are some beautiful blogs out there, with amazing content! It probably took a lot longer than necessary to move everyone because I kept getting sidetracked by looking around on the various blogs. It was a lot of work, but I am pleased with the final outcome! MomBabe is a genius!

It has been stressful, and a ton of work. But, I am so happy with the final product. Please go check out my pet projects new home.
Tell me you love it. Or not. Just tell me something!

A diplomat... is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. - Caskie Stinnett, Out of the Red (1960)


This week I got a burr under my saddle and cleaned. I did the floors, and the windows. I cleaned out closets, and toys. I even cleaned the dreaded blinds. Moxie was having a blast helping me clean. I gave her Bum wipes and she went to town cleaning the floor next to me.

I was bent over my insanely deep jet tub, washing the nasty blinds, when I sort of slipped. Head first. Into the tub. That was completely full of dirty blind water.

YUM.

Moxie was horrified and started screaming. I was a mixture of pain, embarrassment and laughter. I think I may have caused Moxie's first traumatic moment that will later be hashed out in therapy.

*****

"Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Do you hear that? (Pause) Its the winds of change." (name that movie)

Really. The wind is blowing HUGE changes in around here. HUGE. Well not here. But HERE. I've enlisted the help of one wickedly talented chica that has helped me with the vision of what I wanted to do with that site. I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am about it! Seriously.

If all goes as planned, we should be unveiling the "top secret project" on Monday. Keep your fingers and toes crossed. I think it's going to be SWEET!

*****

You all have been patiently waiting for the endless sheep stories, haven't you? The "do you know how much poop a sheep can poop stories? Yeah. I knew you were.

The Sheep were a bust. Well. Rather the baby lambs where a bust. My SIL is in some sort of animal program up at USU (pre-vet) and this semester was the sheep class. She was going to bring down brand new baby lambs for us to play with. Quite honestly? I was bummed. I know I was talking all sorts of smack about it, but secretly? I had dreamed up all sorts of great photo shots I was going to get, crazy captions and all. It would have been an Easter to remember.

*****
I'm going to Women's Conference!
Only 11 more days!
I seriously CAN. NOT. WAIT.

*****
You know that video I put up for Easter? The Reflections of Christ one? (isn't it amazing??) His name is Mark Mabry. He spoke at Time Out For Women recently and my sister heard him. She told me about what he said, and I have been mulling it over ever since.

Apparently Mark (I can call him that. We're tight.) had some things that he decided he needed to tell his wife (remember, this is paraphrased and 3rd hand... ) and he was certain that it would be a deal breaker. When he got up the courage to tell her, she looked at him and said "That's it?" and rolled over and went to sleep.

He said he was shocked because in his mind, what he had to tell her could have been, for her, the thing that sent him packing. But, she just said "That's it?".

He said that all women (and I think men as well) should be the kind of spouse that when your husband (wife) tells you a "deal breaker" you can look at them and sincerely say "That's it?"

You can fix anything . . . as long as you have Christ.

I have mulled this over and over. It has been in my every thought since then. I want to be that type of spouse. I want to be that type of person... The type where someone can tell me the very worst thing about them, and I can say "That's it? (shrugs her shoulders) I love you anyway. Now. Lets get to work!"

That's it. That's what I want. I have no idea how to get there... but isn't a desire the first step? I hope so.

*****

That's it folks. My randomness. Now for some tune-age. Remember to check out the MMB on Monday. Seriously. If you haven't registered now... Uh. You should. Because you will be missing out if you don't. That's all I have to say about that.


1. My Winding Wheel - Ryan Adams
2. Jockey Full Of Bourbon - Tom Waits
3. Crying Like A Church On Monday - New Radicals
4. Times Like These - Jack Johnson
5. Smoothie Song - Nickel Creek
6. Rainbow - G. Love & Special Sauce
7. Chasing Pavements - Adele
8. Something Coming Over - O.A.R.
9. Jacksonville - Sufjan Stevens
10. Come Round Soon - Sara Bareilles

Bonus: Wonderwall - Ryan Adams

Thing 3: Mom? I think I have to many clothes.

Me: You do? Why?

Thing 3: Look at my basket. It's overflowing and I have to put it away (said very whiny). I don't have to, do I?

Me: Well. They are your clothes, so Yes. You have to put your clothes away.

Thing 3: I don't wanna! (starting to cry) I hate doing that.

Me: Well. If you don't put them away, then I will have to take them and put them in a garbage bag and take them to the Goodwill.

Thing 3: The what?

Me: You know, The Goodwill. The place that people go when they are having a hard time and need stuff. Like if a kid's Daddy lost his job. They could go to the Goodwill and get your clothes.

Thing 3: (silence)

Me: So you better pick your stuff up. Like now.

Thing 3: (more silence)

Me: Seriously, Thing 3. Get moving!

Thing 3: Yeah. I've been thinking. Those kids need the clothes more than me. So you can take them to them. OK?

Me: (silence)

Thing 3: Really Mom. I don't want them. Please, wont you please take them to those kids who need them?

Me: Uhh. Yeah. I guess so.

*****
And I did.

She went through all her clothes and came up with an entire laundry basket to go to the Goodwill. When she looked at how much was left, she went through the pile again. The Goodwill basket was overflowing... And so was my heart.

Thing 3 looked at me and said "I bet those kids are going to be so happy when their Dad brings them home my clothes!"

Yes baby, they are.

She was wearing a grin the size of Texas, and I could tell that she had caught the spirit of giving. It feels good to do for others... To give to others.

What a world it would be if we all could be so thoughtful of others and give so willingly of not only our things... but of our time. That is the most important thing to give. Our time. Yet all too often we think things are more important.

Dear Self:

It makes you feel pretty good when you are able to help other people, doesn't it? Yeah. I know. Those warm fuzzy-foo-foo feelings are hard to duplicate--legally. I actually think its pretty great that you like to help other people so much.

It was super nice of you to tend two different families children-- on the same day, at the exact same time. I know you were thinking that it would be no big deal. The kids could all play together and you would continue on your whirlwind cleaning streak. (read: finish reading The Hunger Games)

It didn't work out that way, did it? Nope. Not at all. Those kids all wanted entertaining, and they wanted it NOW, Dangit. You were getting desperate, so you boiled 36 eggs. Thirty six eggs is a lot of eggs, Motherboard. Did you really think that 10 children would happily dye 36 eggs?

After about the first 15 minutes of prep time, the kids were slowly plotting a mutiny. No? You don't think so? Oh honey. (tsk tsk tsk) Let me assure you that yes indeed, they were planning a mutiny. It may or may not have involved you being duct taped to a chair. I'm just sayin' you were that close.

You got those kids lined up at the kitchen bar and proceeded to help all 10 of them dunk and dip those Easter Eggs. I think your mistake probably was when you busted out the tie-dyed kit. Bad idea. Very bad idea! Busted was the operative word there... It went everywhere! Well, everywhere that included only you, your clothes and your nicely manicured hands.

Then, as if that weren't enough, you actually decided to bust out the glitter egg dying kit. Why? Why would you do something so... oh I don't know... STUPID? Did you not realize that your freshly painted oompa-loompa hands wouldn't attract glitter? Really? Because that was dumb.

Now, not only did you have oompa-loompa hands, but they were jazz hand-ooompa-loompa hands. Sweet!

The kids decided that dying Easter eggs was boring, so they all abandoned you and your 36 eggs for green pastures... The Tramp.

Traitors.

You were nice, however, and finished dying, glittering and jazzing those blasted 36 eggs. Didn't you find it weird how excited the Mom's were when they saw those eggs? Yeah. It's because you were dopey enough to do the egg dying for them... because really? I think all Mom's secretly hate dying Easter eggs.

Just remember that the next time you babysit 10 kids, you need to step far, far away from the Egg dying kits. They are nothing but trouble.

The proof is in the Ooompa-loompa-jazz-hands.

Thanks,
~motherboard

When I was on my mission, I spent the first 10 months of it in the same, awesome area. After that one area, my call was changed to Spanish Speaking and I headed out on my merry, non Spanish speaking way.

Every time I complain, with other returned missionaries, about how hard mission life was, my husband insists on the same snarky remark. "Oh yeah. It was soo hard... one state over."

I usually roll my eyes and say "Shut up! It totally was. I mean, I could only say My horse fell off a bridge for Pete's sake"!

(You're dying to know how to say that now, aren't you? Mi caballo se cayó de un puente. Happy?)

And it's true. My Spanish speaking abilities at that time consisted of "where's the bathroom" and "my horse fell off a bridge". Quite useful phrases when you are trying to talk to people about God.

More often than not, I would come out of meeting with someone and turn to my companion and say "We did just tell them that pre-marital sex was a no-no, right? Right?? Sheesh. I think I mixed up those dang verbs again."

It was hard and at the end of the day, I would go to bed with a throbbing headache-- and then dream in Spanish. And let me just tell you that-that? Yeah. It totally sucked. I couldn't understand a dang thing!



When I found David Sedaris I sort of fell in love. Well, as much as a straight girl could fall in love with a Gay man that doesn't even know she exists kind of a way.

He makes me laugh so hard that tears stream down my face! He is freaking funny! He is an essayist, and writes about his life experiences. They are hilarious. Some day I hope to write essays as well as his, and do what he does-- Go around and read them to large audiences of people, have them laugh in all the right places, give me standing ovations and pay me insane amounts of money!

This Essay, The French Lesson, is one of my favorites. This snippet is at the point in his essay, where he is trying-- in his limited French-- to explain to a Non Christian who Jesus is, and what Easter is all about. (there are other parts of the essay-- like his trying to explain to his French land lord about the leaky toilet... and how 'the toilet. she cry. all night long...' )

My Spanish, when I was a missionary, was so limited (still is) ... and yet there I was trying to explain to people all about Jesus and His saving grace ... and probably not doing a very good job. But, I was trying my hardest to do my very best.

So, yes Jefe, it really was that difficult.

And the best thing I have ever done.

Happy Easter.

You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic. - Doris Egan

This week has been filled with lots and lots of . . . spring breaking, whiny, boo-hooing kids. Seriously? Who thought of spring break for elementary age kids? I kind of think it blows.

Does it make me less of a Mom that I am anxious for my kids to go back to school-- to get back to some sort of schedule? No. At least I don't think so.

I read on all these various blogs about all the crafts they are doing, and how they all just sit around, singing Kum-bah-ya and holding hands and doing a little jig. (Or at least that's how it seems) Yeah. That ain't happenin' at my house.

Just today there was a major fit about how "I got ditched by my friends", and we all got to endure the ranting. Then there was the "she won't let me jump. No. He won't let ME jump." I solved that little tift with a "No one can jump now. Happy?"

Sometimes, after reading other peoples "oh so perfect blogs" I feel less of a Mom because I want my kids to go back to school. And be on a schedule. And to stop fighting. Because my head is spinning out of control.


I was talking to my friend earlier this week, and boy howdy. Was I ever on a roll. I was popping funnies out left and right! My friend even commented about how I needed to write them down, so I could blog them. I didn't. And do you think I can remember a single solitary one? Nope. Not on your life. Bummer too. Cause she was laughing... I was laughing... It was good times all around.


I wish I were kidding about the Sheep coming to our Easter party. But, I'm not. It sounds like they are a go. And boy I'm soo excited. (said dripping with sarcasm!) I guess nothing says Easter like Sheep sh!t. Yes. I will totally take pictures. Nothing is worth doing, if you can't blog it. Come on people! This will provide me with weeks of comedy relief!


I have been doing a lot of "regular" reading lately. I have read some wonderful books! The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society; The Hunger Games; and my book clubs monthly selection, Queen Bee's and Wanna Bee's.


I am the "discussion leader" this month, and I'm nervous about it because I want to present it different than all the other books. I think this one requires a lot more preparation on my part because I think that most people won't read it.

This is actually my 4th time reading it. It sits in my nightstand, right next to my scriptures, with sticky tabs and notes in the margin. It has become my bible on how to deal with girls and women.

I firmly believe that anyone that has to deal with girls OR women should read it. Whether you are having problems with it now or not isn't really relevant. I think it's naive to think you will never encounter it, because at some point, we all will play the various roles mentioned in the book-- even in our adult lives. If you think won't, you are wrong and it would be better it would be better to armed and ready, rather than waiting and wanting.

Knowledge is power, people. Knowledge is power.

Have you read Queen Bee's and Wanna Bee's? What do you think would be important information to highlight? Have any opinions you would care to share? If you don't want to share them in the comments, feel free to email me crazylandblog AT gmail DOT com .


All right. That's it for this weeks edition of the random randomness. I have to finish painting the wall next to the fridge for the party tomorrow. The dog poop still needs to be scooped so we can trade it out for the sheep poop. Food needs to be made, baskets filled (cause the bunny comes Saturday morning) and bathrooms cleaned. Not to mention the umpteen hundred kids I am tending as well.

Yeah. I will be glad when school starts again. I need a freakin' break from Spring Break!


1. Believable Doubt - Andy Davis
2. Chasing Pavements - Adele
3. Bedshaped - Keane
4. Here It Goes Again - OK Go
5. Listen - Amos Lee
6. 83 - John Mayer
7. Crucify - Tori Amos
8. Masochist - Ingrid Michaelson
9. Big Casino - Jimmy Eat World
10. Savin' Me - Nickelback

Bonus: Don't Lie - Black Eyed Peas

Jefe: Hey. I need someone to go out back and clean up all the dog poop.

Me: OK. I'll send one of the kids out to do it.

Jefe: We really need to get the dog poop cleaned up. Preferably before the party we're hosting on Saturday.

Me: OK. I'll git 'er done. (ha ha. I'm so funny)

Jefe: Seriously, Mb. The poop issue needs to be addressed. We're going to trade dog poop for lamb poop.

Me: (silence)

Jefe: Did you hear me? We're trading dog poop for lamb poop.

Me: Lamb poop?

Jefe: Yeah. Lamb poop. You know… Sheep sh@#?

Me: Wha? Sheep sh@#? Why?

Jefe: Because an Easter party isn't an Easter party without sheep.

Me: Great.

Jealous? You totally want to come to my Easter party now, don't you? I wonder if I can rustle up some cute little duckies and bunnies too . . .

I'm afraid, very afraid.

Hey! Pop in here from Google reader and let me know if you are still receiving... loud and clear in reader. I went over to check my feed over at feedburner and according to them, I have lost 90% of my subscribers. (that explains the low traffic)

I checked the message boards, and apparently this is happening a lot.

So. Do me a favor... come over and comment.

Let me know if you earthlings are still reading me.

This is Mars reporting.

Peace out.

This song is my theme song for the moment. It speaks to me on so many levels.

Give it a listen. Go ahead. I'll wait.

(done?)

I love that finally a person, who lives their life in the spotlight, is saying that its OK to be who and what you are. There is no need to transform yourself into not only something that you are not, but something that everyone else thinks you should be.

I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I Learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be the india arie (mother-board)

When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where it's supposed to be
And I know our creator didn't make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes; I'm lovin' what I see

Wouldn't it be incredible if all women and girls could feel this way? If we could see ourselves as the amazing creations of our Heavenly Father that we all are? If we did, wouldn't we feel better about ourselves? And further, if we all felt this way about ourselves, would we not all be more accepting and kind towards those around us?

These lyrics are awesome! It really is OK if you don't shave your legs, or paint your toes. It really is OK if you choose to not wash your hair (but please remember to shower). Who you are and what you are about is OK.
YOU... The woman that you are... You are OK.

At various times in my life, I have had different kinds of theme songs. Songs that motivate me, speak of my testimony, or help me to remember. Everyone has their "favorite" song, but do you have a theme song?

This is mine.

In my quest to loose weight without actually having to exercise, I have given up fast food. I have gone almost 6 weeks without it. Then, I fell off the wagon. I didn't just fall off the wagon, but I fell and then rolled around and swam in some fast food grease. Like twice. In one day. Can you say gross?

Once you fall off the fast food wagon, its all down hill from there. I have now had fast food (twice in one day) the last three days straight. I think the 8 pounds I lost by giving up fast food, I gained back when I went to Burger King and then Wendy's.

IN THE SAME DAY.

Yeah. That's gross.

Someone actually suggested that I watch Super Size Me, and that the movie would totally cure my need for greasy processed food.

Umm Yeah. Guess What?

I watched that when it first came out 6 years ago and I still eat like crap. I even watched all the special features showing what the fast food looks like when left in a glass jar trying to "exercise my demons" (not for the queasy stomachs!) ... but nothing. I still want it. I still crave it.

(OK. Just kidding. I just watched that again, and my gag reflex kicked in BIG TIME!)

I have wanted to start eating healthy and loose weight, so I went through my house and gathered up all my secret candy stashes and threw them away. (gasp!) Every last stash thrown in the trash. Honestly? I don't know what I was thinking. I have spent the better part of the morning walking around, wringing my hands muttering to myself about how I need candy. Like NOW I need some candy.

As I was actually contemplating making brownies for breakfast and just eating the batter to get my fix I remembered GIRL SCOUT COOKIES. I have Girl Scout Cookies! I ran to my office closet and riffled around and as sure as poop stinks, I found my cookies. I had forgotten the secret stash of Girl Scout Cookies. Praise Allah for those pesky girl scouts!

I am ashamed to say that I have now eaten half the box. However, my shakes are gone and my writing mojo is starting to return.

My kids love to watch the TV show Toddlers & Tiara's. I don't. It makes my eye twitch. And sometimes I throw up a little in my mouth too. Seriously.

Today, while I was doing my homemaking duties (because I was informed I had to end my strike) I watched a news segment about the new Generation Diva's. Have you heard of them? I have.

Recently, I was talking with some friends about girls and their complete lack of respect for adults and how shocking some of their behavior has become. Parents giving, giving, giving-- and then giving them some more... especially of things that are not age appropriate. This causes the kids to feel entitled. They think that they are entitled to have what ever they want. Now. Not later. Now. And, they think they are entitled to have the lifestyle that their parents do-- immediately-- sans the hard work.

Thing 2 had his 4th grade program last week. I took some really great photos... only I forgot to put my card in the camera... And I didn't discover it until I was half way through the "play" So really? I have zero pictures.

I hate that.

Thing 2 really wanted to be one of the Mountain Men in the show. He practiced and practiced and when tryouts arrived he was ready. (Yes. They had to tryout for the grade program.Weird, I know!) He was totally bummed when he came home and told me what his part was.

Me: Did you nail it? Did you get the part?

T2: No. I'm not a Mountain Man.

Me: You're not? Really? That totally stinks! What part did you get?

T3: Umm. Well... I got the Beaver. (loud, long sigh) I have to be the Beaver mom. That's so dumb.

Me: Oh. That is dumb. Do I have to make you a costume? Cause, I don't sew, remember?


I have to say that Thing 2 did a great job as the Beaver. He was the only one that really had a "noticeable" costume and if I do say so myself, he looked adorable. But shh. Don't tell him I told you that.

Moxie got extremely bored during the school assembly part of his program and decided it would be great fun to crawl under all the chairs. I don't mean like behind me and in front of me. I mean she climbed into the middle of the chairs and then crawled down the entire row of chairs. I thought it was pretty dang funny.

Until...

(dun dun dun dun)

She sort of got stuck. Under the chairs. Half way down my row. Beneath a complete stranger. Moxie was stuck and SCREAMING from under the strangers chair. Can you imagine how that must have scared that stranger?

Yeah. That was one of my finest parenting moments right there!

Moxie started wailing and I started climbing over complete strangers to try and save her. Everyone turned around and watched as people were jumping up, lifting their chairs heaven-ward trying to locate the screaming baby.

Good times.

Thing 2 did a great job at his play, but Moxie sort of stole the show.

Sigh.

My kids. They are all going to need therapy when I'm through raising them.