Open Letter
Monday, August 31, 2009
Dear Toshiba,
My new laptop was awesome. It had the sweetest screen I had ever seen. The color was bright and sharp and it had a full keyboard. It came with all the bells and whistles, and I really really loved it.
Why am I using past tense you ask? Because dudes! It doesn't work any more. I've only had it for six weeks. SIX WEEKS is not very long for a computer to stop working.
I may have refrained from sending you this letter, but my interaction with your customer service department negates it. I mean, how do you say? It totally sucks.
When I have to finish the sentences of your employee because they don't speak English? Dude. That's bad. And irritating.
Don't believe me, Mr. Toshiba? Let me give you a small sampling of the hoops I have been jumping through:
Toshiba: Herro. Tank-oo for carring Toshiba.
Me: Uhh. Ok. Is this customer service?
Toshiba: Yah. yah. yah. How can I, uhh... how do you say?
Me: Help me?
Toshiba: Yah. yah. yah. Dat's it. How can I herp you?
Me: My computer isn't working. I believe the pin for the adapter is broken and the LCD screen flickers on and off. I need to get it fixed.
Toshiba: Uhh. Ohhh. {sigh} OK. You need, uhh, how do you say? Uhh...
Me: Use my warranty?
Toshiba: Yah. yah. yah. Dat's it. You want to make craim on your warranty?
Me: Yes. What do you need so that I can get this done?
Toshiba: Werr, I need to have your, uhh... You're uhhh..... How do you say? Your...
Me: Serial number? Maybe? My name maybe?
Toshiba: Yah. yah. yah. You name and den seriar numba.
Me: (oh my hell this is going to take forever)
Toshiba: Ok. Ok. I tink dat's it, how do you say... Uh...
Me: Uh. Wait a minute. How are you going to fix it unless I send it to you? Don't I need to send it somewhere?
Toshiba: Oh yah. yah. yah. OK. yah. Let's see. Yah. Ohh.. {sigh} Yah. You take dat computah, go to da nearest... Uhh..uhh... How you say?
Me: Shipping store? (for the love!)
{bangs head against the wall}
Toshiba: yah. yah. yah. UPS shipping store. I tell you where to go.
Me: Where are you located?
Toshiba: The Philippines.
Me: (well THAT explains a lot)
**
Seriously, Mr. Toshiba. I have to end there, because I feel my blood pressure rising as I type this conversation out. This went on for forty-five minutes. FORTY FIVE MINUTES! For 45 minutes I wanted to bang my head against the wall.
Now, just to set the record straight so you don't call me a racist Mr. Toshiba. I am not. I love all people. I have traveled extensively in your country. I have a degree in Tourism, for Googles sake. I love all people and all races and all places.
I get, Mr. Toshiba, that you want to save money. I also get that you out source your call centers. I don't really care if you do. But seriously? Is it too much to ask that you make sure your employees are fluent in conversational English?
People in China don't want me to come over there and work in their call center's and use my limited, uhh... How do you say? Chinese. They expect to get someone who can speak their language. And so do I.
I also expect that when you tell me to take it somewhere, that the people I am taking it to will have a clue what I'm talking about. You said you would, uhhh... how do you say? Fax them.
Only, you didn't.
Or you did, but it was in Chinese.
Then, after sending it off to get fixed, and literally getting it back the next day... it wasn't fixed. Why? Because they couldn't understand the work order, because, how you say?
IT. WAS. IN. CHINESE!
Lucky me, I then get to get back on the phone with Ho-Chi-Min and try to solve my broken computer problem while trying to help us understand each other again. It's irritating and frustrating to spend-- 3 phone calls later-- over 2 hours on the phone--2 hours I will never get back-- trying to get my damn computer fixed. My computer that is only 6 weeks old.
For the love, Toshiba. I don't care if you want to save a buck, but for Googles sake, make sure your employees can speak conversational English.
That is all.
~motherboard
PS. my computer still isn't fixed. I finally came to my senses and demanded to be transferred to their US offices and talk to a US person to tell me where I can physically drive my computer to be fixed.
They spoke beautiful English.
Sunday Devotional
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Random randomness and then some tunes
Friday, August 28, 2009
In my sentences I go where no man has gone before...I am a boon to the English language. --George W. Bush
I was rather bored the other day. Actually, I was procrastinating writing up my Fireside that I have to do on Chastity this Sunday. THIS Sunday. Yeah. I haven't even started it yet. (shut up)
I wrote one sentence on my real facebook page, and asked people to add on to the story. So far, here is what they've come up with:
*****
Whew. That was heavy. Let's lighten the mood now with a funny story.
I had to go to the ghetto last night (read: Wal-mart), and it was quite the education. We saw an OH-KNATS (In Living Color, anyone?). She was something else, and she was helping her mini-oh-knats pick out school supplies. Me thinks it was a waste of money.
Then, we saw an awesome drug bust go down in the parking lot. There were drug dogs, 5 other coppers and they were totally taking the guys SUV apart. Wow. Who knew you could see such amazing drama in Zion?
Oh but wait. There's more.
While we were pulling out of our parking spot, Thing 1 says: "Wow. There are two chicks in that car next to us making out." I look over and sure enough they weren't just making out, they were making. out.
I think they may have been performing a tonsillectomy on each other.
Thank you Wal-mart for bringing the best of the ghetto to us.
*****
Whenever I get on the computer, Moxie has a ritual she does. She climbs up through the arms of my computer chair (Yes. She sometimes gets stuck too). Then pounds on my back for a while, while babbling in my ear. She then proceeds to climb onto my desk where she will dance for a bit to my music that is always blaring. Once that little routine is over, she'll sit on her "chair". Or in other words, my printer.
Then I pick her up, kiss her and tell her I love her, and lift her high over my head (so she's flying) and put her back on the ground.
We do this over and over all the live long day. It makes for any serious writing to be non-existent. It really drives me insane. She loves to sit right next to me, ON the desk. Singing to the music, leading the music and dancing to the music.
But you know what? I would do it our little dance over and over again if it meant she would stay like this forever.
*****
Today is the last day to enter the MMB August Giveaway. Have you entered? You totally should. There are some amazing sponsors on there this month. Shabby Apple people. Skin Care RX (which I LOVE). Good stuff people. Go enter. Like now.
*****
We have survived the first week of school. Getting back on a schedule has been refreshing. Which totally contradicts my Bohemian lifestyle. But, like Jefe said, Bohemian lifestyles are enchanting, except when you are trying to raise children. Children need schedules and routine. And frankly, so do I. I guess I'm not really a bohemian after all.
Damn.
*****
Do you watch late night TV? I do. I was totally thrilled when Jimmy Fallon took over Conan's spot. Not because I don't like Conan, because I do. But, he's Jimmy Fallon. Then, I realized it was on at the same time as Craig Ferguson. Man, Craig Ferguson is hysterical. He just walks onto the stage, and I immediately start cracking up. His accent makes him adorable, but his sense of humor makes him sexy.
Now I have a quandary as to who I'm going to watch because I think Jimmy is rather hot (and funny) too.
Who is your fav?
*****
Have a great weekend.
Ours will be filled with football games, soccer games and lawn mowing.
1. Supermassive Black Hole - Muse
2. Weekend Wars - MGMT
3. Little Black Sandals - Sia
4. Visit From The Dead Dog - Ed Harcourt
5. Clocks (Live) - Coldplay
6. You're Body Is A Wonderland - John Mayer
7. Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2
8. I Taught Myself How To Grow Old - Ryan Adams
9. Hey Girl - O.A.R.
10. How Am I To Be - The Watson Twins
Bonus: Jolene - Ray LaMontagne
I was rather bored the other day. Actually, I was procrastinating writing up my Fireside that I have to do on Chastity this Sunday. THIS Sunday. Yeah. I haven't even started it yet. (shut up)
I wrote one sentence on my real facebook page, and asked people to add on to the story. So far, here is what they've come up with:
Once there was a Hobo who lived in the dumpster. He road around town on a squeaky, lopsided chair.
Sadly hobo's can't afford cable so he was unable to watch What not to Wear. Because of this he was made fun of by the other hobo's who were dressed to the 9's in the latest hobo styles.
The chair tipped over and he hit his head on the pavement and ended up with a head bleed over at IMC in my unit.
The other hobos then felt bad for teasing him. Bonnie stitched him up. and while she did he watched hospital TV and now he knows how to breastfed correctly but still is driving in the lopsided chair with bad clothes and hospital hair.
But because of his new found education he was able to help a distraught new mother who was struggling with feeding her baby in the park. The mother was so grateful she gave him a coupon for a Big Mac.
However, being the hobo that he is, he hasn't received dental care in quite some time and has no teeth to actually chew the Big Mac.
Thank heavens that distraught mother in the park was married to a dentist who fashioned our lopsided chair driving Hobo a set of new teeth. Only, they were out of wood.
To this predicament, the hobo who used to be a lousy lawyer cried foul and sued the kindly mother in the park and the dentist who fashioned the wooden teeth.
To his utter amazement, he won the lawsuit and got a ridiculously huge amount of money. He took that money and promptly...
Went back to the hospital and donated a large sum of money to Bonnie because she was the best nurse ever. Than she went on a fabulous trip with the hobo and her family. They took the lopsided chair and chrome plated it and had a body lift and a trailer hitch put on so they could tour the country of...
Yemen. However, we had to leave the car with the nice trailer hitch home since you can't drive there. Instead we arranged for a pack of dogs to pull us around in a sled to tour this great country. Funny enough, we ran into...
George W. Who, now that he is unemployed, was pantomiming on the street corner. It was rather ironic as he couldn't stop saying he was using "strategery" to be the best mime in all of...
Care to add on?
(make sure to read the comments, so the story continues to flow...)
(make sure to read the comments, so the story continues to flow...)
*****
It was 7 years ago today that The Professor died. Last year I wrote a post about him, and it truly says everything that I have ever wanted to say. You should go read it, so you too can know The Professor.
He was a bohemian, and fit the definition perfectly. He was a musician, an author, an intellect and he lived a rather unconventional life. And, for the most part I liked it.
Recently, Jefe told me I was a bohemian and I sort of felt my heart swelling with pride. "Awww. The professor would be so proud." And, he would too.
If The Professor could see Jefe, I know his heart would swell with pride. Jefe has done very well with his life. All of his siblings have. Jefe and his sister both have doctorate degrees. Solider brother is almost done with his bachelors and is getting ready for law school. Computer brother is one of the higher ups at State Farm. They are all happy, successful, well adjusted adults. The Professor would be proud.
If The Professor could see Thing 1 and Thing 2 he would be so proud of not only how intelligent they are, but how thoughtful they are as well. Education was extremely important to The Professor, and the two oldest Things are doing well in that department.
If The Professor could meet Thing 3 and Moxie he would fall madly in love. Thing 1 and Thing 2 were the only grandchildren he ever knew... now there are six.
The Professor taught me a lot of things. He taught me to see the beauty in all things. He taught me to think before I speak, and to speak well. He was right when he told me I would fall in love with the Midwest and all of the amazingly beautiful things there are there. I did.
If he hadn't died, I can truthfully say we never would have left the Midwest. We would have stayed there forever. But, death changes your views and your plans. It did ours anyway.
The Professor, Jefe's father, died 7 years ago today and even though I understand "the plan" I still grieve. I feel a hole in my heart when I think about him and I miss him.
It was 7 years ago today that The Professor died. Last year I wrote a post about him, and it truly says everything that I have ever wanted to say. You should go read it, so you too can know The Professor.He was a bohemian, and fit the definition perfectly. He was a musician, an author, an intellect and he lived a rather unconventional life. And, for the most part I liked it.
Recently, Jefe told me I was a bohemian and I sort of felt my heart swelling with pride. "Awww. The professor would be so proud." And, he would too.
If The Professor could see Jefe, I know his heart would swell with pride. Jefe has done very well with his life. All of his siblings have. Jefe and his sister both have doctorate degrees. Solider brother is almost done with his bachelors and is getting ready for law school. Computer brother is one of the higher ups at State Farm. They are all happy, successful, well adjusted adults. The Professor would be proud.
If The Professor could see Thing 1 and Thing 2 he would be so proud of not only how intelligent they are, but how thoughtful they are as well. Education was extremely important to The Professor, and the two oldest Things are doing well in that department.
If The Professor could meet Thing 3 and Moxie he would fall madly in love. Thing 1 and Thing 2 were the only grandchildren he ever knew... now there are six.
The Professor taught me a lot of things. He taught me to see the beauty in all things. He taught me to think before I speak, and to speak well. He was right when he told me I would fall in love with the Midwest and all of the amazingly beautiful things there are there. I did.
If he hadn't died, I can truthfully say we never would have left the Midwest. We would have stayed there forever. But, death changes your views and your plans. It did ours anyway.
The Professor, Jefe's father, died 7 years ago today and even though I understand "the plan" I still grieve. I feel a hole in my heart when I think about him and I miss him.
*****
Whew. That was heavy. Let's lighten the mood now with a funny story.
I had to go to the ghetto last night (read: Wal-mart), and it was quite the education. We saw an OH-KNATS (In Living Color, anyone?). She was something else, and she was helping her mini-oh-knats pick out school supplies. Me thinks it was a waste of money.
Then, we saw an awesome drug bust go down in the parking lot. There were drug dogs, 5 other coppers and they were totally taking the guys SUV apart. Wow. Who knew you could see such amazing drama in Zion?
Oh but wait. There's more.
While we were pulling out of our parking spot, Thing 1 says: "Wow. There are two chicks in that car next to us making out." I look over and sure enough they weren't just making out, they were making. out.
I think they may have been performing a tonsillectomy on each other.
Thank you Wal-mart for bringing the best of the ghetto to us.
*****
Whenever I get on the computer, Moxie has a ritual she does. She climbs up through the arms of my computer chair (Yes. She sometimes gets stuck too). Then pounds on my back for a while, while babbling in my ear. She then proceeds to climb onto my desk where she will dance for a bit to my music that is always blaring. Once that little routine is over, she'll sit on her "chair". Or in other words, my printer.
Then I pick her up, kiss her and tell her I love her, and lift her high over my head (so she's flying) and put her back on the ground.
We do this over and over all the live long day. It makes for any serious writing to be non-existent. It really drives me insane. She loves to sit right next to me, ON the desk. Singing to the music, leading the music and dancing to the music.
But you know what? I would do it our little dance over and over again if it meant she would stay like this forever.
*****Today is the last day to enter the MMB August Giveaway. Have you entered? You totally should. There are some amazing sponsors on there this month. Shabby Apple people. Skin Care RX (which I LOVE). Good stuff people. Go enter. Like now.
*****
We have survived the first week of school. Getting back on a schedule has been refreshing. Which totally contradicts my Bohemian lifestyle. But, like Jefe said, Bohemian lifestyles are enchanting, except when you are trying to raise children. Children need schedules and routine. And frankly, so do I. I guess I'm not really a bohemian after all.
Damn.
*****
Do you watch late night TV? I do. I was totally thrilled when Jimmy Fallon took over Conan's spot. Not because I don't like Conan, because I do. But, he's Jimmy Fallon. Then, I realized it was on at the same time as Craig Ferguson. Man, Craig Ferguson is hysterical. He just walks onto the stage, and I immediately start cracking up. His accent makes him adorable, but his sense of humor makes him sexy.
Now I have a quandary as to who I'm going to watch because I think Jimmy is rather hot (and funny) too.
Who is your fav?
*****
Have a great weekend.
Ours will be filled with football games, soccer games and lawn mowing.
Catch ya on the flip side!
1. Supermassive Black Hole - Muse
2. Weekend Wars - MGMT
3. Little Black Sandals - Sia
4. Visit From The Dead Dog - Ed Harcourt
5. Clocks (Live) - Coldplay
6. You're Body Is A Wonderland - John Mayer
7. Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2
8. I Taught Myself How To Grow Old - Ryan Adams
9. Hey Girl - O.A.R.
10. How Am I To Be - The Watson Twins
Bonus: Jolene - Ray LaMontagne
ima10cow and ipaid10cows
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
This is my adorable baby sister and her husband, right after they finished running Ragnar. She's going to kill me for showing you this oh so lovely photo. Oh well.I have a way better one of her, but its on the dead computer that I have been arguing with Toshiba about. I'll tell you all about that later, because this post is all about ima10cow, my sister.
Isn't that the best screen name ever? ima10cow? It's taken from the movie, Johnny Lingo. I love the fact that when they got married, her spouse changed his screen name to ipaid10cows. That make me all giddy, because that's true love, yo!
Actually, her spouse is a perfect match for her and he takes great care of her. When they were first married, he would wake up in the middle of the night to check on her to make sure her blood sugar wasn't too low. Isn't that remarkable? He really is a great catch!
ima10cow was diagnosed with diabetes when she was 15 years old. I remember going to Primary Children's Hospital to see her. It was a frightening time, because we really knew nothing about this disease, and frankly we were all a bunch of junk food addicts.
She has been a trooper and really manages her disease well. She is a health nut, eats right and counts her carbs. If only I could do that. I just might loose this 37 pound tire around my middle if I did.
My sister is amazing. She is not only beautiful on the outside, but on the inside as well. She can do anything she sets her mind to, and she does it well. That, my peeps, is a rare talent. She knows the scriptures better than most RM's and her wisdom way exceeds her 30 young years.
So, the reason behind my 'ode de ima10cow' is because her cute husband is raising money for the Juvenile Diabetes foundation. They have a walk on Saturday that he is participating in, while he is training for another marathon.
Seriously, the dude can run.
I just thought it would be cool if, you know, all 7 of my readers helped pitch in five bucks. That would be $35.00 towards an excellent cause. You all can say that you now know someone with diabetes... ima10cow. She's adorable. It's a disease that can be cured, we just need to raise more money.
He already reached is goal, but I live by the rule of being an overachiever (not really). I helped ipaid10cows towards his new goal of being an over achiever. Over achievers rule the world. Don't you want to help too? It'll get you one step closer to heaven.
So, what say ye? Are you in? I already donated.
Who wants to see my $5.00 and raise it to $10.00??
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
Donate here. To find out more about Juvenile Diabetes please go here.
Wordless Wednesday
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
First day of school + 3 kids gone = a happy dance and then a giant cry baby
Monday, August 24, 2009
**This is pulled from the archives, with a little editing thrown in for good measure. I'm trying to get my For Strength of Youth dealio done, kids ready and off to school and grow a new brain. This post describes perfectly how I feel. **
When school starts, I find myself sort of schizophrenic. I am more than ready for the kids to go back to school... but in the same instant my heart hurts because its just one more step that they are taking away from me.
I holler out to them often (much to their horror) "Why you want to leave me?" (name that movie)
I am selfish.
I admit it.
I want them to stay with me forever.... I just want them to never fight, do what I tell them immediately, hold hands and sing Kumbaya.
Really.
Is that asking too much?
Thing 3 is in first grade, and off at school all day long. My little buddy, my constant companion.She is my little shadow. She likes to try and finish my sentences... and is constantly correcting me on my Mothering skills with Moxie. Oh how Thing 3 loves Moxie. Moxie will miss her when she is gone all day. I will miss her when she is gone all day.
There will be no one to follow me around, chatting my ear off. No more will there be someone begging me to let her help me clean. From here on out, I will only know about her day what she chooses to tell me.
That hurts my heart.
Thing 2 is in 5th grade. You know that song, Slipping Through My Fingers?(I did that Soundtrack Sunday post on it a while back...)
With each passing year, Thing 2 is pulling further and further away. And, that is as it should be. He is following the circle of life... He no longer wants to hold my hand and skip to class. No more will he let me kiss him goodbye.
It's healthy. It's normal. It's right.
It doesn't mean I have to like it though.
I miss my little buddy when he's gone too. He is the first one up in the mornings. Jumping on my bed to hug me, and then begging to hold Moxie.
He is my helper.
My peacemaker.
My friend.
I miss him when he is gone.
Thing 1 is in 9th grade now. THAT song really mimics our life now. She is a wonderful daughter. She is kind, and thoughtful. She has a wonderful sense of humor!I miss her when she is off at school. I watch the clock-- wondering how her 1st class is... and her 3rd class... and her 5th class... Was the math teacher nice or mean?
All too soon this not so little girl of mine will be heading out the door for good.
And that really hurts my heart.
I understand that my job is to grow children, but it just seems that these beautiful children that God has blessed me with are going about this growing business much to quickly.
Thank heavens Moxie is still around. How can you not feel happy when you are greeted with that wide mouth grin? Even if she does throw food at people, and try to escape out of high-chairs only to get stuck. She makes this first day of school... doable.
Sunday Devotional
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Random randomness and then some tunes
Friday, August 21, 2009
"I'm like Mr. Miyagi and Yoda, all rolled into one."
- Michael, The Office
I tell my kids all the time that I have secret, super powers and an eye in the back of my head. I think sometimes they actually believe me. Like yesterday in the car. I just figured out that I have a radio/volume control on my steering wheel. Thing 2 would change the station in the car, I would change it back. He would get a puzzled look and change it again. I would then make the volume go really loud and he would freak out and turn it back down. I told him we had a ghost living in our van again, but he didn't buy it.
Then I told him I had super Jedi mind powers. And I was an evil genius.
He said really? Cool.
Muwah-ha ha ha ha ha!!
*****
My girlfriends from high school and I got together again after our 20 year reunion and took over Applebee's. We stayed until they literally kicked us out. Then moved it to the parking lot and hung out there until they turned the lights out on us. We were a moving party... until 2am. It was awesome!
(I am way to old to do this 3 nights in a row. How did I ever keep hours like this when I was younger?)
It was so great to reconnect with these girls after all these years. We were able to pick our friendships up right where we left off-- easy and flawlessly. We reminisced about stupid arguments we had, the crazy girl we all knew, and where our various lives had led us. I feel so blessed to have had these gals in my life during pivotal moments.
I think I convinced them that we should finally make our U2 trek. They're coming in concert and my argument when they asked why was why not? It's twenty years late, but my motto has and always will be "better late than never!"
*****
I cannot believe that school starts on Monday. It is a relief. We are finally going to get back on a schedule that is a normal bedtime. I am a creature of habit, and I like routine. School means a return to routine.
And yet.
I feel sad. Its just one year closer to my children growing up, leaving home and not needing me any more. Thing 1 is in 9th grade. I thought I knew everything in 9th grade. Now I realize that not only did not know anything then, I have only begun to scratch the surface now.
The summer, although we have been sans schedule or routine, has just blown by. We have been a bunch of lazy-lazies. It's been nice. I feel mildly relaxed. Looking forward to this next school year brings giant amounts of stress.
*****
Taking Moxie out in public has always been easy. She sits and waves at everyone. She babbles and laughs. When we go out to eat, she sits in her chair, eats her food and watches everything unfold around her.
Until yesterday, that is.
I went out with some of my friends for lunch and I brought Moxie along for kicks. I had zero reservations because she has always been so good. Yesterday she proved to everyone that I am a big fat liar.
She picked up her plate and tried to throw it. There was a plate of tortilla chips next to her, and she would break them apart and throw them at everyone. She grabbed at my friends lunch and threw her drink on the floor.
She was happy when I would let her stick her hands in my diet coke and suck the nectar of the gods off her fingers.
She was a total spaz and I was embarrassed.
The End.
*****
What TV shows are you getting excited for?
*****
I went to buy U2 tickets and nearly had a stroke. They wanted $250 per ticket. $250 people. Do you know what I could do with $250? Yeah. Sadly, I refuse to pay that. I guess I'll have to get the DVD, have a party and watch it in my backyard with the volume cranked. It would be like we were there.
Almost.
*****
I have been procrastinating writing up the Elementary school newsletter. For some strange reason, it is sending me into a nervous, epileptic fit. It has to be emailed out to the 500+ families that have kids at our school. Like today.
I haven't even started it. Guess what I will be spending the day doing?
Wish me luck.
*****
I also totally blew off getting Thing 1 transferred out of the Math teacher she got... now she has to endure the entire first semester with him.
Sucks for her and she's really mad at me.
I am well on my way of fulfilling my evil plan of ruining her life.
*****
In honor of my 2o year class reunion, I made an '80's play list for today's random 1o.
You're welcome.
1. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2
2. If You Leave - OMD
3. Love My Way - Psychedelic Furs
4. No One Is To Blame - Howard Jones
5. Crazy For You - Madonna
6. Is She Really Going Out With Him - Joe Jackson
7. Englishman In New York - Sting
8. Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Tears For Fears
9. Chains of Love - Erasure
10. Every Rose Has It's Thorn - Poison
Bonus: Forever Young - Alphaville
- Michael, The Office
I tell my kids all the time that I have secret, super powers and an eye in the back of my head. I think sometimes they actually believe me. Like yesterday in the car. I just figured out that I have a radio/volume control on my steering wheel. Thing 2 would change the station in the car, I would change it back. He would get a puzzled look and change it again. I would then make the volume go really loud and he would freak out and turn it back down. I told him we had a ghost living in our van again, but he didn't buy it.
Then I told him I had super Jedi mind powers. And I was an evil genius.
He said really? Cool.
Muwah-ha ha ha ha ha!!
*****
My girlfriends from high school and I got together again after our 20 year reunion and took over Applebee's. We stayed until they literally kicked us out. Then moved it to the parking lot and hung out there until they turned the lights out on us. We were a moving party... until 2am. It was awesome!(I am way to old to do this 3 nights in a row. How did I ever keep hours like this when I was younger?)
It was so great to reconnect with these girls after all these years. We were able to pick our friendships up right where we left off-- easy and flawlessly. We reminisced about stupid arguments we had, the crazy girl we all knew, and where our various lives had led us. I feel so blessed to have had these gals in my life during pivotal moments.
I think I convinced them that we should finally make our U2 trek. They're coming in concert and my argument when they asked why was why not? It's twenty years late, but my motto has and always will be "better late than never!"
*****
I cannot believe that school starts on Monday. It is a relief. We are finally going to get back on a schedule that is a normal bedtime. I am a creature of habit, and I like routine. School means a return to routine.
And yet.
I feel sad. Its just one year closer to my children growing up, leaving home and not needing me any more. Thing 1 is in 9th grade. I thought I knew everything in 9th grade. Now I realize that not only did not know anything then, I have only begun to scratch the surface now.
The summer, although we have been sans schedule or routine, has just blown by. We have been a bunch of lazy-lazies. It's been nice. I feel mildly relaxed. Looking forward to this next school year brings giant amounts of stress.
*****
Taking Moxie out in public has always been easy. She sits and waves at everyone. She babbles and laughs. When we go out to eat, she sits in her chair, eats her food and watches everything unfold around her.
Until yesterday, that is.
I went out with some of my friends for lunch and I brought Moxie along for kicks. I had zero reservations because she has always been so good. Yesterday she proved to everyone that I am a big fat liar.
She picked up her plate and tried to throw it. There was a plate of tortilla chips next to her, and she would break them apart and throw them at everyone. She grabbed at my friends lunch and threw her drink on the floor.
She was happy when I would let her stick her hands in my diet coke and suck the nectar of the gods off her fingers.
She was a total spaz and I was embarrassed.
The End.
*****
What TV shows are you getting excited for?
*****
I went to buy U2 tickets and nearly had a stroke. They wanted $250 per ticket. $250 people. Do you know what I could do with $250? Yeah. Sadly, I refuse to pay that. I guess I'll have to get the DVD, have a party and watch it in my backyard with the volume cranked. It would be like we were there.
Almost.
*****
I have been procrastinating writing up the Elementary school newsletter. For some strange reason, it is sending me into a nervous, epileptic fit. It has to be emailed out to the 500+ families that have kids at our school. Like today.
I haven't even started it. Guess what I will be spending the day doing?
Wish me luck.
*****
I also totally blew off getting Thing 1 transferred out of the Math teacher she got... now she has to endure the entire first semester with him.
Sucks for her and she's really mad at me.
I am well on my way of fulfilling my evil plan of ruining her life.
*****
In honor of my 2o year class reunion, I made an '80's play list for today's random 1o.
You're welcome.
1. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2
2. If You Leave - OMD
3. Love My Way - Psychedelic Furs
4. No One Is To Blame - Howard Jones
5. Crazy For You - Madonna
6. Is She Really Going Out With Him - Joe Jackson
7. Englishman In New York - Sting
8. Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Tears For Fears
9. Chains of Love - Erasure
10. Every Rose Has It's Thorn - Poison
Bonus: Forever Young - Alphaville
This post brought to you by the color Blue
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Yesterday I was shopping for school clothes with my kids. In one of the stores I was in I noticed this girls strutting around with tags still on her pants. At first, I thought maybe she was an employee and maybe she had been working in the back and she had gotten stickers all over her rear. In a nice straight line. It's call the benefit of the doubt.
Then I thought maybe she was a thief.
I realized she was neither a thief or an employee when she took her pants off. RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORE she took her pants off. Did I mention that the store was a shoe store? For the love! It was a SHOE STORE!
She had on lovely dark blue underwear.
My jaw dropped and she gave me the challenge stare. You know what folks? I stared right back. I watched her put her pants on, one leg at a time and pull them up. She slowly did up the button. She then tossed her head at her MOTHER and said, lets get out of here, and then nodded my way.
People. She took her pants off. In public. In front of her Mother AND total strangers. All so she could see if the shoes would look sexy or not.
Unbelievable.
(My blog totally thanks her.)
Then I thought maybe she was a thief.
I realized she was neither a thief or an employee when she took her pants off. RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORE she took her pants off. Did I mention that the store was a shoe store? For the love! It was a SHOE STORE!
She had on lovely dark blue underwear.
My jaw dropped and she gave me the challenge stare. You know what folks? I stared right back. I watched her put her pants on, one leg at a time and pull them up. She slowly did up the button. She then tossed her head at her MOTHER and said, lets get out of here, and then nodded my way.
People. She took her pants off. In public. In front of her Mother AND total strangers. All so she could see if the shoes would look sexy or not.
Unbelievable.
(My blog totally thanks her.)
Actual Conversation
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
While out school shopping yesterday, I was an unwilling participant in the following conversation.
Grown Lady 1: Penny! Penny! Look at this! Oh my gosh! Penny!
Grown Lady1: Penny! Isn't this cute! Penny!
GL1: Penny! Look at this! Penny? Look. You're not looking Penny. Look!
Penny (also a grown up): I looked. It's cute.
GL1: Penny! Oh my gosh! This is adorable, Penny. Do you see it? Penny? PENNY?
GL1: Penny! What do you think? Penny! Does this make one outfit or two? Penny? Penny? one or two. Penny! I don't know. Penny? Penny?
Penny: I don't care.
Lady1: Penny! I love this. Don't you love this Penny. Penny? Penny? Where are you Penny?
GL1: Penny! I want to buy this. What do you think, Penny? Penny! Are you listening to me? Penny! Should I buy it?
GL1: PENNY! Why aren't you listening to me? Penny? Should I buy this? Penny? Are you listening to me?
GL 1: I dunno. Penny? Help me Penny. What do you think Penny? Penny. Did you hear me? Penny?
GL1: Penny? Penny. I love this Penny. Did you hear me Penny? Are you even listening to me, Penny? I dunno. I can't make up my mind Penny. Penny? What should I do? Penny! PENNY!
Me: For the love of all that's holy! Penny! Answer her so she will shut! up!
Grown Lady 1: Penny! Penny! Look at this! Oh my gosh! Penny!
Grown Lady1: Penny! Isn't this cute! Penny!
GL1: Penny! Look at this! Penny? Look. You're not looking Penny. Look!
Penny (also a grown up): I looked. It's cute.
GL1: Penny! Oh my gosh! This is adorable, Penny. Do you see it? Penny? PENNY?
GL1: Penny! What do you think? Penny! Does this make one outfit or two? Penny? Penny? one or two. Penny! I don't know. Penny? Penny?
Penny: I don't care.
Lady1: Penny! I love this. Don't you love this Penny. Penny? Penny? Where are you Penny?
GL1: Penny! I want to buy this. What do you think, Penny? Penny! Are you listening to me? Penny! Should I buy it?
GL1: PENNY! Why aren't you listening to me? Penny? Should I buy this? Penny? Are you listening to me?
GL 1: I dunno. Penny? Help me Penny. What do you think Penny? Penny. Did you hear me? Penny?
GL1: Penny? Penny. I love this Penny. Did you hear me Penny? Are you even listening to me, Penny? I dunno. I can't make up my mind Penny. Penny? What should I do? Penny! PENNY!
Me: For the love of all that's holy! Penny! Answer her so she will shut! up!
If I hear the name Penny one more time, I think my eye may start twitching.
Reason # 851 why I hate shopping.
Reason # 851 why I hate shopping.
Wordless Wednesday
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Can someone pass me the hairspray please?
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
When I was seventeen years old, I was positive that in twenty years one of two things would have happened: Christ would have come or I would be dead. Twenty years to a seventeen year old is a hella long time. But, here I am staring twenty years in the face, daring it to tell me I am old.
The eighties were my times. They were the times of shoulder pads, big curly hair, British music and diet coke. It was a great time to be in high school, and my town was the perfect town to be a teenager.
My home town was a small town with three elementary schools, one junior high school, two restaurants and one stop light. Everyone knew everyone. All of my Dad's brothers lived in our town, so I had cousins my age all around me. It really was a wonderful place to be a child.
Sometimes I still feel seventeen, but the enormous tire around my stomach reminds me that not only am I not seventeen, I have four children and thirty-seven pounds of fat. Because of that lovely fat gift from my children, I swore I would never attend any sort of reunion event. I told myself they were archaic and silly. Besides, there is no reason to attend; I left my home town over fifteen years ago and frankly I never looked back.
At five o'clock on Friday night, I decided to attend the archaic and silly twenty year reunion being held. I had no time to stress over clothes, so I picked out the one shirt that was clean. I ran to Kohls to pick out a new necklace to go with my clean shirt. Then I realized I didn't have time to shed the extra weight I was carrying around, so I bought a girdle.
Yes, A girdle.
I tried it on at the store, and it made me look like I had magically lost some of that thirty-seven pound tire. However, I was stupid and forgot to give it the sit down test. Remember how disastrous it was the last time when I forgot the sit-down test?
A girdle is So. Much. Worse.
I put the girdle on again at home, and waited patiently for my friend-- whom I had not seen in YEARS—to come and pick me up. As soon as I got in the car and sat down, I realized my mistake. That lovely piece of material was able to squelch out a thirty pound tire around my stomach, but it was also squelching out my spleen. (I have no idea if a spleen can even be squealched… where is it anyway?) (Don't tell me. I don't want to know.) I kid you not, the further my friend drove, the higher my spleen rose. At one point, I actually started coughing and I thought I was going to find some important body part bouncing off the dashboard.
I was pretty panicked… what was I going to do for three hours, in a park, with no bathrooms, and people I hadn't seen in twenty years?
I stood the entire time. That's what I did.
It wasn't too bad, until it was time to move on to our next event… The movies. Our senior class rented out the local movie theater and had Ferris Buellers Day Off playing. We had free reign of the theater and honestly? It was fun; except for that bloody girdle.
We were in the bathroom, when I had a brilliant idea. I hollered out to my friend that I was going to take off my girdle. She started giggling like a school girl and I started disrobing. In the public bathroom. I had to take off all my clothes to get that freakin' girdle off. While I was doing that—praying that no one else came in-- I proceeded to give my friend a lecture:
"Listen. If you tell anyone about this, I swear to all things holy, I will deny it and call you a big fat liar."
When I finally got that stupid squelching girdle off, I felt so much relief. I actually started rubbing my big, fat thirty-seven pound tire and apologized for being so mean to it. I shoved that squelcher into my purse and went about putting myself back together.
It was at that point that I realized something: My old friends loved me in spite of my thirty-seven pound tire. There was nothing that needed to be hidden, because during the last twenty years, I have lived a good life. I have remained faithful to my religion. I have gotten an education and married a great man in the temple. I have four amazing children that make my life complete. What was there for me to be embarrassed about or ashamed of? Nothing.
One of my friends at the theater summed it up nicely. He said: I don't care where you live, how much money you're making or what kind of car you drive; however, I do care that you are happy. If you're happy, then I'm happy. That is the perfect sentiment. My wish for my high school classmates would be for them to be sincerely happy. Joyful even.
I was surprised with how many of my friends had chosen different life paths, even alternative life paths. Some of them were good, close friends and it surprised me to see how different and opposite our lives had become.
As I watched my classmates the next night at our dinner, mingling and re-connecting, I kept having a recurring thought: I was happy and I was happy because of the continued righteousness of my friends. It reminded me of the story in Alma when the Sons of Mosiah come home from their fourteen year missions and they see each other for the first time. They hugged and cried and rejoiced in each other's continued faithfulness. They felt joy because they had all waxed strong in the Lord… That was what I kept thinking about as I watched my archaic reunion unfold before me.
And I was glad I decided to attend.
I had been blessed in my youth to be surrounded by good kids. They encouraged me to make good choices, and chastised me when I didn't. They strengthened me until I was able to stand firm on my own two feet. They lifted me to a higher ground when I was down, and I am grateful. But not only that, I was thrilled to see how strong, firm and solid each of my close friends has become.
In my entire high school career, I can say that I was never offered a drink of alcohol by any of my friends. I never even had that temptation placed before me. Like, Ever. Those were the kinds of friends I had.
Maybe we were weird, nerdy, theater/seminary nerds, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Hindsight is twenty-twenty and I can see that it was a blessing for me to associate with those that I did… I am a better person for it. Friends do matter; Especially in high school. I had good friends and I still do.
Sunday Devotional
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Lemon Tart: A Culinary Mystery
Friday, August 14, 2009
Josi Kilpack sent me this book back in February to read, and sadly I am a total slacker and just barely finished it. IN TWO DAYS, I finished it.
I really enjoyed Lemon Tart: A Culinary Mystery. It was an exciting, quick read! There are actual recipes littered throughout the book, and I found myself craving brownies as she talked about brownies and Fettuccine when she talked about Fettuccine! (thank heavens I actually had some leftover Costco Fettuccine on hand!)
I cannot even begin to tell you how refreshing it was to read a book that is clean. There were no swear words, and no sex scenes. However, the lack of those two elements did not make this a boring, cheesy read.
On the contrary, there were affairs, illegitimate children and murder for Googles sake. Josie just handled the subject matter in a tasteful way. That to me speaks of the raw talent that is Josie Kilpack's writing. She did not have to rely on the lowest common denominator--sex and swearing-- to move her plot along because her words, writing and story carried itself without them.
While Josi's book is being sold in LDS bookstores (ie: Deseret Book), there is not one mention of religion in this book. I appreciated her ability to write a great story, and leave the religion on the shelf.
At the center of the story is the busy-bodied main character Sadie. She takes the art of homemaking to an all-new, hyper level. She perfects recipes, eats a small portion and then proudly delivers her culinary masterpieces to her neighbors. All in the name of "gathering information".
I really thought I had the entire plot figured out and was completely thrown when it nose-dived in the total opposite direction. I really like books that allow me to think I have it all figured out, only to show me in the last few chapters that I'm not as smart as I think I am.
Lemon Tart: A Culinary Mystery is that kind of book. Read it. You won't be disappointed.
Random randomness and then some tunes
Friday, August 14, 2009
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. - Dave Barry
Today is my 20 year HS reunion. I'm a class of '89er. My entire high school career can be summed up by saying: big hair, pegged pants, shoulder pads, Love Shack, Days of our Lives and hair bands.
It was, as someone famous once said, the best of times and the worst of times.
Would I do it all over again, like the movie 17Again? I dunno. If I could actually be the smarty-smart smart that I am now, maybe. Would I do things differently? Possibly. I would most definitely NOT be such a freaker about what everyone else was thinking about me (see? I was a narcissist even back then), because they WERE NOT thinking about me. They were too busy thinking about themselves.
Old age is funny like that. It helps you see things clearly.
I am still undecided as to whether or not I am going to go. One minute its a solid "hell no" the next its a "it would make for some good blog fodder if I went. I wonder if so and so is bald and fat like me. Except I'm not bald, only fat."
We will have to see if I loose my mind and attend, and wish I hadn't. Or Not attend, and then loose my mind wishing I had.
*****
I know that you all think you have the best blogging friends in the whole wide world, but I just wanted to let you know that you are wrong. I have the best blogging friends in the whole wide world.
The end.
*****
Did you see the discussion over on the MMB about nylons? NYLONS people. They are just nylons. Who knew that people could be so passionate about articles of clothing that promote yeast infections.
Go check it out, and add your two cents worth.
*****
I have officially hit maximum density. I now not only have a shelf butt, but a maximum density shelf butt. I tried to do the biggest loser. I really did. I just was totally and completely unwilling to cut out eating out.
I love to eat out. Not McYucks eating out, but sit down, look at a menu eat out. I like to eat slow and savor the food, the ambience and the people. Jefe says that if I really like something I am eating, I moan. Moaning like whenyourhavingsex moaning.
Embarrassing? Umm. Yeah. Just a little.
*****
Someone asked me recently how the save the chicken revolution was going...
Sadly, the chickens have been retired to a chicken retreat where they will live out the rest of their days crowing until the sun comes up and pecking each other to death.
HOA's totally suck, yo.
*****
I have asked a bunch of my teen blogging friends to write me up a post for MMB on what its like to be a teen in todays world. How they survive, what makes them strong. The baisc "make the mommy's feel good" kind of post. I got my first submission last night, and let me tell you, I cried like a baby. A BABY. These kids are strong, talented and we sell them short.
I can't wait for you to see how amazing they are.
*****
Remember when I had to give that {sex}talk at church last year? The talk where I told the kids: Boys, keep your boy parts to yourself. Girls, keep your girl parts to yourself. If you don't you'll end up with one of these (holds up Moxie).
Any questions?
(not really)
Yeah. I have to do it again. Only this time? I have to talk for 45 minutes. FORTY-FIVE long minutes to teens I don't know.
Kill me now, please.
(i am begging for suggestions over on the MMB... if you have an opinion, and care to share it, please stop on by...)
*****
Have a happy weekend. I see in my future a fair + nasty fair food = indigestion. What are you doing this weekend?
1. Crash - Dave Matthews Band
2. Shout Out Loud - Amos Lee
3. Plane - Jason Mraz
4. Day Too Soon - Sia
5. Boom Boom Pow - Black Eyed Peas
6. Street Corner Symphony - Rob Thomas
7. Sweetest Thing - U2
8. Alison - Elvis Costello
9. Life Is A Highway - Rascal Flatts
10. I Could Say - Lily White
Bonus: Quelqu ' un M'a Dit - Carla Bruni (500 days of summer soundtrack)
Today is my 20 year HS reunion. I'm a class of '89er. My entire high school career can be summed up by saying: big hair, pegged pants, shoulder pads, Love Shack, Days of our Lives and hair bands.
It was, as someone famous once said, the best of times and the worst of times.
Would I do it all over again, like the movie 17Again? I dunno. If I could actually be the smarty-smart smart that I am now, maybe. Would I do things differently? Possibly. I would most definitely NOT be such a freaker about what everyone else was thinking about me (see? I was a narcissist even back then), because they WERE NOT thinking about me. They were too busy thinking about themselves.
Old age is funny like that. It helps you see things clearly.
I am still undecided as to whether or not I am going to go. One minute its a solid "hell no" the next its a "it would make for some good blog fodder if I went. I wonder if so and so is bald and fat like me. Except I'm not bald, only fat."
We will have to see if I loose my mind and attend, and wish I hadn't. Or Not attend, and then loose my mind wishing I had.
*****
I know that you all think you have the best blogging friends in the whole wide world, but I just wanted to let you know that you are wrong. I have the best blogging friends in the whole wide world.
The end.
*****
Did you see the discussion over on the MMB about nylons? NYLONS people. They are just nylons. Who knew that people could be so passionate about articles of clothing that promote yeast infections.
Go check it out, and add your two cents worth.
*****
I have officially hit maximum density. I now not only have a shelf butt, but a maximum density shelf butt. I tried to do the biggest loser. I really did. I just was totally and completely unwilling to cut out eating out.
I love to eat out. Not McYucks eating out, but sit down, look at a menu eat out. I like to eat slow and savor the food, the ambience and the people. Jefe says that if I really like something I am eating, I moan. Moaning like whenyourhavingsex moaning.
Embarrassing? Umm. Yeah. Just a little.
*****
Someone asked me recently how the save the chicken revolution was going...
Sadly, the chickens have been retired to a chicken retreat where they will live out the rest of their days crowing until the sun comes up and pecking each other to death.
HOA's totally suck, yo.
*****
I have asked a bunch of my teen blogging friends to write me up a post for MMB on what its like to be a teen in todays world. How they survive, what makes them strong. The baisc "make the mommy's feel good" kind of post. I got my first submission last night, and let me tell you, I cried like a baby. A BABY. These kids are strong, talented and we sell them short.
I can't wait for you to see how amazing they are.
*****
Remember when I had to give that {sex}talk at church last year? The talk where I told the kids: Boys, keep your boy parts to yourself. Girls, keep your girl parts to yourself. If you don't you'll end up with one of these (holds up Moxie).
Any questions?
(not really)
Yeah. I have to do it again. Only this time? I have to talk for 45 minutes. FORTY-FIVE long minutes to teens I don't know.
Kill me now, please.
(i am begging for suggestions over on the MMB... if you have an opinion, and care to share it, please stop on by...)
*****
Have a happy weekend. I see in my future a fair + nasty fair food = indigestion. What are you doing this weekend?
Catch ya on the flip side!
1. Crash - Dave Matthews Band
2. Shout Out Loud - Amos Lee
3. Plane - Jason Mraz
4. Day Too Soon - Sia
5. Boom Boom Pow - Black Eyed Peas
6. Street Corner Symphony - Rob Thomas
7. Sweetest Thing - U2
8. Alison - Elvis Costello
9. Life Is A Highway - Rascal Flatts
10. I Could Say - Lily White
Bonus: Quelqu ' un M'a Dit - Carla Bruni (500 days of summer soundtrack)
An Open Letter
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Dear Dyson:I'm sorry I cheated on you. Eight years is a long time to spend with someone... I don't know what came over me; I think I must have been possessed. Will you take me back? Please?
Thanks,
~motherboard
< witty title >
Thursday, August 13, 2009
In 2004 I did a scrapbook layout on the 100 things that I love
and the 100 things I hate.
Care to play?
Hey Mr. Reaper! Whatcha doin' here?
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Have you ever wondered how old you would be when you die? I have. I think I must have an unhealthy preoccupation with death. I have written my own obituary. I have my funeral planned (closed casket thankyouverymuch) and what types of flowers I want on my grave.
I would rather the funeral NOT be depressing, but rather, a full fledged party. Where people tell embarrassing stories about me. Cause I'm a narcissist and all that.
I found the Death Calculator somewhere in my internet travels, and it was a little shocking. Apparently I am going to die in 37 more years or the year 2047. All of this was based on a very scientific quiz I had to take.
Basically, the quiz said I'd better get my act together. And, that I'm not going to live forever.
Drat.
There are a bunch of Death Calculator type quizes out there.
Go ahead. Take the quiz. You know you want to.
Wordless Wednesday
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Sesame Street ROCKS!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Sunday Devotional
Sunday, August 09, 2009
My life according to Amos Lee (and Jason)
Friday, August 07, 2009
Tib is doing a pretty fun Meme right now, and I'm a total sucker for memes. Let me know if you play.
Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name)"
Pick your Artist:
Amos Lee
Describe yourself:
Street Corner Preacher
How do you feel:
Kid
Describe where you currently live:
Bottom of the Barrel
If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Black River
Your favorite form of transportation:
Night Train
Your best friend:
What's Been Going On?
You and your best friend are:
Careless
What's the weather like:
It Started To Rain
Favorite time of day:
Skipping Stones
If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
Better Days
What is life to you:
Supply & Demand
Your relationship:
Shout out loud
Your fear:
Lies of a lonely friend
What is the best advice you have to give:
Sympathize
Thought for the Day:
Seen it all before
How I would like to die:
Jail & Bombs
My soul's present condition:
Soul Suckers
My motto:
Keep it loose, Keep it tight
I couldn't decide on which one I liked more, so I did two. I'm an over-achiever like that.
Pick your Artist:
Jason Mraz
Describe yourself:
Geek in the pink
How do you feel:
Only Human
Describe where you currently live:
Who Needs Shelter
If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
No Doubling Back
Your favorite form of transportation:
Butterfly
Your best friend:
I'll Do Anything
You and your best friend are:
Lucky
What's the weather like:
The Forecast
Favorite time of day:
Sleeping To Dream
If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
Beautiful Mess
What is life to you:
Not So Usual
Your relationship:
I'm Yours
Your fear:
If It Kills Me
What is the best advice you have to give:
Details In The Fabric
Thought for the Day:
Did You Get My Message
How I would like to die:
Coyotes
My soul's present condition:
Love For A Child
My motto:
Life is Wonderful
My Life According to...
Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name)"
Pick your Artist:Amos Lee
Describe yourself:
Street Corner Preacher
How do you feel:
Kid
Describe where you currently live:
Bottom of the Barrel
If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Black River
Your favorite form of transportation:
Night Train
Your best friend:
What's Been Going On?
You and your best friend are:
Careless
What's the weather like:
It Started To Rain
Favorite time of day:
Skipping Stones
If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
Better Days
What is life to you:
Supply & Demand
Your relationship:
Shout out loud
Your fear:
Lies of a lonely friend
What is the best advice you have to give:
Sympathize
Thought for the Day:
Seen it all before
How I would like to die:
Jail & Bombs
My soul's present condition:
Soul Suckers
My motto:
Keep it loose, Keep it tight
I couldn't decide on which one I liked more, so I did two. I'm an over-achiever like that.
Pick your Artist:Jason Mraz
Describe yourself:
Geek in the pink
How do you feel:
Only Human
Describe where you currently live:
Who Needs Shelter
If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
No Doubling Back
Your favorite form of transportation:
Butterfly
Your best friend:
I'll Do Anything
You and your best friend are:
Lucky
What's the weather like:
The Forecast
Favorite time of day:
Sleeping To Dream
If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
Beautiful Mess
What is life to you:
Not So Usual
Your relationship:
I'm Yours
Your fear:
If It Kills Me
What is the best advice you have to give:
Details In The Fabric
Thought for the Day:
Did You Get My Message
How I would like to die:
Coyotes
My soul's present condition:
Love For A Child
My motto:
Life is Wonderful
Random randomness and then some tunes
Friday, August 07, 2009
If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting. - Jack Handy
I'm a food network junkie. I love pretty much every show on that channel, except for Emeril. His show is boring.
One of my favorites is Diners Drive-ins and Dives. It showcases local restaurants across the country that would be otherwise missed. I sit, watching the show and pretty salivate the entire time.
Can you say un-healthy relationship with food?
Last summer Guy and his hot red convertible came to Utah, and highlighted a couple of my favorites... The Burger Bar and The Red Iguana. I heart The Red Iguana. Their avocado stuffed enchiladas suizas are to die for. TO DIE FOR! And, I almost do every time I eat them. I get a migraine whenever I eat there, but the food is Oh. So. Good.
It's almost worth it.
Almost.
*****
Football season has started again here in Crazyland, and this year Jefe is one of the assistant coaches. Thing 2 is a little stronger and a little braver. We got him some new sports glasses so now the kid can actually SEE while he's playing.
Our life will now consist of football practice two hours a night, four nights a week with a game on Saturdays. For the next 6 weeks we will eat, breathe and sleep football and we love it!
Jefe and his pal were able to put together quite the team. It mostly consists of all the kids in the neighborhood, but the kids in our neighborhood are GOOD. Watching them practice for the first time last night, one would have never known that it was their FIRST PRACTICE. They were running plays and the kids were catching almost everything they were tossing at them.
I suppose it helps that these kids play football almost everyday together... Usually in my backyard. I think these kids have a shot at being city champs.
I just hope thing 2 doesn't get squished too bad.
*****
There are seventeen days until school starts.
Including the weekends.
I'm not excited or anything.
*****
Did you see that wicked dust storm that came through last night? Holy Dirty, Batman! We were coming home from visiting family way up north, and watched the brown giant cloud come wafting across the valley. It was a little apocalyptic looking, if you ask me.
Sitting at football practice last night, the dust was just layering us. It was nasty. I left my garage door open, and I think there is probably over an inch of dirt all over it now. That fine, nasty, traipse it everywhere dirt. Blech.
While the storm was raging, did you happen to see the moon? BLOOD RED. (isn't that a sign of the apocalypse or something?) I tried to get a photo of it... It's not as cool as I remember it.
I think I need a bigger lens. Although, if my lens gets much bigger I won't be able to cart it around without a wheel-barrow and a giant tripod.
Can I just say dust and dirt in your ear from a dirt/dust storm is totally gross?
*****
I used to be a giant news junkie. I would always have CNN or something equivalent on mostly to listen to. However, I haven't watched the news in months and months. I just get irritated and my anxiety shoots through the roof.
"But Motherboard! How will you know what the weather is going to be?" Umm... The Internet, for Google's Sake.
I have on a rather regular basis mocked people who "keep their head in the sand", but I now proudly proclaim that I am one of those people. I like the way the sand feels, and I am happy to keep my head buried there.
thankyouverymuch.
*****
Is it bad that whenever I see an unknown caller, or "solicitor" call coming through, I answer the phone and immediately hang up? I don't even say 'hello'. I just answer and hang up.
You say it's rude? Oh good. That's what I was going for.
*****
Have an awesome weekend. I'm looking for new tunes/artists again... do you have any suggestions?
1. Home - Daughtry
2. Trouble - Coldplay
3. The Remedy(acoustic) - Jason Mraz
4. Wonderland - John Mayer
5. Someones A Cryin' - Chris Issak
6. The Fear - Lily Allen
7. My Wish - Rascal Flatts
8. Someday We'll Know - New Radicals
9. Sleeping To Dream (Live) - Jason Mraz
10. All Summer Long - Kid Rock
Bonus: Here It Goes Again - OK Go
I'm a food network junkie. I love pretty much every show on that channel, except for Emeril. His show is boring.
One of my favorites is Diners Drive-ins and Dives. It showcases local restaurants across the country that would be otherwise missed. I sit, watching the show and pretty salivate the entire time.
Can you say un-healthy relationship with food?
Last summer Guy and his hot red convertible came to Utah, and highlighted a couple of my favorites... The Burger Bar and The Red Iguana. I heart The Red Iguana. Their avocado stuffed enchiladas suizas are to die for. TO DIE FOR! And, I almost do every time I eat them. I get a migraine whenever I eat there, but the food is Oh. So. Good.
It's almost worth it.
Almost.
*****
Football season has started again here in Crazyland, and this year Jefe is one of the assistant coaches. Thing 2 is a little stronger and a little braver. We got him some new sports glasses so now the kid can actually SEE while he's playing.
Our life will now consist of football practice two hours a night, four nights a week with a game on Saturdays. For the next 6 weeks we will eat, breathe and sleep football and we love it!
Jefe and his pal were able to put together quite the team. It mostly consists of all the kids in the neighborhood, but the kids in our neighborhood are GOOD. Watching them practice for the first time last night, one would have never known that it was their FIRST PRACTICE. They were running plays and the kids were catching almost everything they were tossing at them.
I suppose it helps that these kids play football almost everyday together... Usually in my backyard. I think these kids have a shot at being city champs.
I just hope thing 2 doesn't get squished too bad.
*****
There are seventeen days until school starts.
Including the weekends.
I'm not excited or anything.
*****
Did you see that wicked dust storm that came through last night? Holy Dirty, Batman! We were coming home from visiting family way up north, and watched the brown giant cloud come wafting across the valley. It was a little apocalyptic looking, if you ask me.Sitting at football practice last night, the dust was just layering us. It was nasty. I left my garage door open, and I think there is probably over an inch of dirt all over it now. That fine, nasty, traipse it everywhere dirt. Blech.
While the storm was raging, did you happen to see the moon? BLOOD RED. (isn't that a sign of the apocalypse or something?) I tried to get a photo of it... It's not as cool as I remember it.
I think I need a bigger lens. Although, if my lens gets much bigger I won't be able to cart it around without a wheel-barrow and a giant tripod.
Can I just say dust and dirt in your ear from a dirt/dust storm is totally gross?
*****
I used to be a giant news junkie. I would always have CNN or something equivalent on mostly to listen to. However, I haven't watched the news in months and months. I just get irritated and my anxiety shoots through the roof.
"But Motherboard! How will you know what the weather is going to be?" Umm... The Internet, for Google's Sake.
I have on a rather regular basis mocked people who "keep their head in the sand", but I now proudly proclaim that I am one of those people. I like the way the sand feels, and I am happy to keep my head buried there.
thankyouverymuch.
*****
Is it bad that whenever I see an unknown caller, or "solicitor" call coming through, I answer the phone and immediately hang up? I don't even say 'hello'. I just answer and hang up.
You say it's rude? Oh good. That's what I was going for.
*****
Have an awesome weekend. I'm looking for new tunes/artists again... do you have any suggestions?
Catch ya on the flip side!
1. Home - Daughtry
2. Trouble - Coldplay
3. The Remedy(acoustic) - Jason Mraz
4. Wonderland - John Mayer
5. Someones A Cryin' - Chris Issak
6. The Fear - Lily Allen
7. My Wish - Rascal Flatts
8. Someday We'll Know - New Radicals
9. Sleeping To Dream (Live) - Jason Mraz
10. All Summer Long - Kid Rock
Bonus: Here It Goes Again - OK Go
Meet me at the confessional
Thursday, August 06, 2009
It's confession time here in Crazyland. No. Not that kind of confession.
It's time to confess how much I love Anthony Bourdain. Seriously. I love him. He is the King of snark. And Pithiness. His show on the travel channel leaves Jefe and I in stitches whenever we watch it. Have you seen it? He travels around the world, hanging out with locals eating good food and getting smashed. You see the country and food... what a fantastic combination.
He reminds me of my brother-in-law.
His blog is awesome. You can hear his voice on his blog... which is just like his show. He is a brilliant writer and his show is top notch entertainment.
If you like food and like to travel then check out Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations.
It's time to confess how much I love Anthony Bourdain. Seriously. I love him. He is the King of snark. And Pithiness. His show on the travel channel leaves Jefe and I in stitches whenever we watch it. Have you seen it? He travels around the world, hanging out with locals eating good food and getting smashed. You see the country and food... what a fantastic combination.
He reminds me of my brother-in-law.
His blog is awesome. You can hear his voice on his blog... which is just like his show. He is a brilliant writer and his show is top notch entertainment.
If you like food and like to travel then check out Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations.
For your eyes only
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Who doesn't like them some Robert Downey Jr?
Or some Johnny Depp?
Man. I do. Me Likey. A lot-y.
Wordless Wednesday
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
If I only had a brain
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Most of you know that I'm friends with Sher in real life. She literally lives around the corner from me. If I stood on the roof of my house, I could throw a rock at her. I could. It would miss, but I could.
We became friends not because we live so close, or because we were even visiting teaching companions (which we were). Nope. We became friends because we both had blogs. We never talked on the phone, but we would leave hilarious comments on each others blogs. Then we moved from being just "comment friends" to email pals.
If there was something hilarious I wanted to tell Sher, rather than call her, because really? Who does that? It's scary. I heard she's unapproachable. (Not really) I email her. Then I laugh manically because dang! I'm funny!
Good thing she gets my humor too because we were able to move from being email pals to "Hey! Lets go visiting teaching. I know you wont eat me" kind of friends.
Here is a recent exchange that we had... via email.
My email: Are you going to bookclub?
Sher: No. I'm going camping.
Me: I'm not going either. I have to visit family. They're going to recite all the reasons why being a Mormon is sending me to the depths of hell. Jealous?
Sher: No.
Me: Get off the phone I'm trying to call you.
Sher: I picked up the phone. You didn't answer when I said hello.
Me: That's because you didn't say hello.
Sher: Yes I did.
Me: No. It went straight to voice mail.
Sher: It said "Crazyland" on the caller id. I picked it up.
Me: Your phone is possessed.
See? We talk about serious, important issues.
She's a musician. Did you know? Not only is she a musician that is really good, but she's a musician that is being played on the radio. For Reals. They played her incredible music on the radio this past Sunday.
We should all email the station and request more of her songs. That's what friends do. Right?
I have two other friends that I share a brain with, but they live across the country. It's been lonely for me, walking around with only half a brain.
I feel pretty lucky to have found the other half of my brain again. Thanks Sher.
We became friends not because we live so close, or because we were even visiting teaching companions (which we were). Nope. We became friends because we both had blogs. We never talked on the phone, but we would leave hilarious comments on each others blogs. Then we moved from being just "comment friends" to email pals.
If there was something hilarious I wanted to tell Sher, rather than call her, because really? Who does that? It's scary. I heard she's unapproachable. (Not really) I email her. Then I laugh manically because dang! I'm funny!
Good thing she gets my humor too because we were able to move from being email pals to "Hey! Lets go visiting teaching. I know you wont eat me" kind of friends.
Here is a recent exchange that we had... via email.
My email: Are you going to bookclub?
Sher: No. I'm going camping.
Me: I'm not going either. I have to visit family. They're going to recite all the reasons why being a Mormon is sending me to the depths of hell. Jealous?
Sher: No.
Me: Get off the phone I'm trying to call you.
Sher: I picked up the phone. You didn't answer when I said hello.
Me: That's because you didn't say hello.
Sher: Yes I did.
Me: No. It went straight to voice mail.
Sher: It said "Crazyland" on the caller id. I picked it up.
Me: Your phone is possessed.
See? We talk about serious, important issues.
She's a musician. Did you know? Not only is she a musician that is really good, but she's a musician that is being played on the radio. For Reals. They played her incredible music on the radio this past Sunday.
We should all email the station and request more of her songs. That's what friends do. Right?
I have two other friends that I share a brain with, but they live across the country. It's been lonely for me, walking around with only half a brain.
I feel pretty lucky to have found the other half of my brain again. Thanks Sher.
The Beginning AND The End.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Have you seen this video that's been roaming around on facebook and blogs? I saw it first on Shark Bait's (ooo ha ha) page. I watched it over and over with my kidlets. I totally dig this song, and I'm not sure why, but when the bride comes bee-bopping down the aisle, I cry every stinkin' time! I can just imagine how happy she is dancing to the song "I've been waiting my whole life..."
Well, this one is even more hysterical. It's the divorce version. Rock! On!