"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving."  - Albert Einstein

Moxie learned how to ride her bike the fall of last year. I came home from work and she was zipping up and down the street like a she had never experienced freedom before. It was delightful to sit on my porch and watch her cruise up and down the sidewalk like a boss, wind blowing through her hair.

Then she fell.

Her bike was parked in the garage, where it stayed for the better part of nine months. I would try and get her to get back on it, but she would make all sorts of excuses "I likes my scooter more better Mom. I can go WAY faster on it" never getting back on the bike that had bucked her off like a wild bronco.

And that's the way we rolled. Moxie refusing to ride her bike. We even bought her a new one to see if that would encourage her, but the new one sat in the garage parked right next to the weathered old bike. Sad and neglected.

She likes to come with me when I go on my morning walks. You know, to keep me company so I don't get lonely.

And to scare away the bears.

Cause there's many bears in suburbia, right?

I finally told her at the beginning of this month that she couldn't come with me on our morning walks any more if she wasn't going to ride her bike. She would hum and haw, giving me all sorts of excuses as to why she shouldn't have to ride her bike.

That's when I Tiger Momed her.

I made her ride her bike. I pulled the bike out of the garage, hid her scooter and made her get on the bike and ride it.

Truthfully, it was the longest walk of my life. She whined, cried and made the walk just plain miserable. She would stop about every 25 feet and get off and start to walk and I would promptly make her get back on the bike and ride a little further. Two miles never seemed longer.

But, towards the end of the first mile something wonderful happened. She found her confidence again.

She started riding further and further way from me, to the point that she was so far ahead all I could see was a tiny speck.

She would eventually stop and wait for me to catch up, cockily yelling "Hurry up, Mom! You're walking so slow!"

And my heart swelled with joy.

Confidence meet Moxie. 

 Sometimes we fall, get scraped up, beat up and lose our confidence. And if we let that defeat conquer us it will rule us. Sometimes we just need someone to Tiger Mom us, take us by the hand and make us do that one thing that scares us most.

Sometimes we need someone to show us that in reality, we had nothing to fear and everything to lose. By getting lost in the fear, we were missing out on freedom. And the feel of the wind blowing our hair.

***
Football season has started again. Thing 2 has been at the park every evening for the past week running plays and practicing with his Dad, his buddy and his buddies Pop. The Dad's run interference while the boys run plays, fine tuning their skills, creating trust between the two players. Players have to trust each other that they each are going to do their jobs. When the players trust one another that they have each others backs is when it makes for great football.

Jefe comes home from their nightly workouts dog tired. And happy.

Thing 2? He's just happy to be back doing what he loves.

The boy will never be an NFL Player. That's me being honest, not mean, and the boy knows this. He has a healthy sense of self preservation, which is why letting him play football has been no big deal to us. If it comes right down to completely sacrificing his body or losing the play the body wins and the play loses. And, I'm OK with that.

***

I sat at the park last night watching the boys play their game. Clapping when Thing 2 would catch a difficult pass and moaning when he wouldn't.

My little girls were having races to the farthest point on the field that they dared run, having me time them to see could run faster. The sun had turned the sky a brilliant color of orange, and I felt that old familiar feeling settling into my toes. I sighed a heavy sigh, settled back into my chair and found myself thinking "This is damn near perfect. I am living the life and it's a damn good one."

***
So I got in another car wreck this week.

I know. My insurance should be orbiting outer-space what with all the car wrecks we've had. In a two month period Thing 1 had wrecked all three of our cars, Jefe wrecked his newly fixed car and I wrecked the rental car we were driving while the Jeep was getting fixed.

I know, right?

In my defense this accident wasn't my fault. I was turning left in an intersection and a dumb teenage girl ran the red light and ripped my bumper off. I actually didn't know that it was as bad as it was because it felt like I got a little bump, like maybe she had just scraped the front of my vehicle. However, after I followed her through the intersection (chased would be the more appropriate word. she was going so fast, and kept on going that I actually thought she was going to flee the scene) and got out to call 911 did I see the utter destruction of my vehicle.

I chastised myself because I was heading to Bajio's to get me a salad and then over to the park to listen to the Huey Lewis and The News concert. "Maybe if I had just turned right instead of left this wouldn't have happened." But, after thinking long and hard about it, I realized that had I turned right, coupled with the speed this silly girl was going, this minor accident could have been quite tragic. She had 3 other minors in the car -- two of whom were in the back seat, not wearing seat belts.

She had very little damage to her vehicle, but mine? Yeah. My bumper was sitting on the road. When the police got there to handle the accident, they wanted us to move out of the intersection to a nearby parking lot. I had to drive like I was a decrepit old lady because I was PUSHING my bumper along with me. It was being held onto the car by one lonely, sad bolt.

Jefe showed up to save me and all he had in the trunk of his car was his Lanyard for his volunteer job. So my sad little van was being held together with a CASA Lanyard.

Towny Much?

I couldn't drive it around because when he first tied the bumper back onto the van it was all snug like. But after driving it to run kids hither and yon, it was starting to drag on the ground again.

My only hope this time around is that it takes less than 98 days to fix my vehicle. Which is how long it took to get the Jeep fixed.

I'm not bitter about that at all.

And I shouldn't be. I mean I DID get to drive a brand, spanking new, just off the lot 2013 Mini Van for 98 days. It was a lean, mean driving machine. Why would I be bitter?

Because we're still dealing the fallout of that mess.

I freaking hate cars sometimes.

***

That's all she wrote peeps. I hope your weekend is going to be as epic as mine. I've got a lovely nap in the hammock in my near future. Keep it classy, Internet!



1. Home - Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros
2. Got It Alone - Beck
3. Horchata - Vampire Weekend
4. Love Lost - Temper Trap
5. Sad Sad City - Ghostland Observatory
6. All of Me - Tanlines
7. Bury Us Alive - STRFKR
8. Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men
9. Gimme Shelter - The Rolling Stones
10. Polish Girl - Neon Indian

Bonus: Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke

This recipe is an old go-to favorite and I had totally forgotten about it until I stumbled upon it on Pinterest. I'm thinking we're going to be eating this baby this coming weekend with some steaks and a yummy chocolate bundt cake that I can put the fruit on with the sauce.

Your belly can thank me later.



Sauce:
1 20 oz package white chocolate chips
1/2 pint whipping cream

Heat cream over low heat. When the cream is warm, add the chocolate chips, and stir until melted. Remove from heat. Pour over fruit and serve or serve on the side.

I am a list maker. I make lists about everything -  including lists of the lists that I've made. It's weird, really.

Back before I had my smart phone, I had a planner. Remember those things? I carried that thing with me everywhere I went.

I started using a Franklin Planner when I turned sixteen and was made a manager at our local amusement park. All the Executives at the park had them and I was convinced I would be a better manager if I followed in their footsteps, so I begged my parents to take me to the classes and get me one.

Isn't that a parent's dream? "Please Mom. Get me a book so I can be more organized!"

They did exactly what I would have done if my kid had come to me begging for something to help them be more productive: They bought the entire system for me.

I was pretty good at it, too, and I would make lists. For everything. To Do Lists, Places to See Lists, Things to Try, Things I'm Thankful For, Grocery Lists, Packing Lists, Places to Travel Lists, Thing's I've Already Done Lists.

The latter was always the easiest, and I still do that. After I have completed a few tasks -- even if it's just as simple as
1. Get Dressed.
 2. Make Bed.
 3. Brush Teeth -- I write those down and then cross them off. It makes me feel like I've actually accomplished something and motivates me to keep on keeping on.


My favorite list that I have is my  "Before I Die" list. I originally started it when I was in high school and have continually added to it. After I got married my "Before I Die" list started morphing into crazy things I wanted to accomplish because I had decided if I had a Bucket List I might as well put crazy things on it. I had decided that while I was in the midst of the baby years, I needed stuff to dream about.

And really? That "Before I Die" list was stuffed full of my dreams, and it kept me plugging along during the hard times. My dreams were MY dreams, and some of them were (and still are) a little unrealistic but they were mine. And come hell or highwater, I was going to try and accomplish them.

Last summer we were at a neighborhood BBQ talking about the things we were involved in and at that time I had just wrapped up filming the last episode of Tech Savvy. Someone at the BBQ asked me what made me think I could do a Talk Show and further why would I even want to?

I thought of my infamous list.

One of the things on my list was "Have a TV Show" and I looked at the woman and told I had a list of things that I wanted to do before I died and that just happened to be on my list. But putting that aside, why COULDN'T I do it?

I firmly believe that I can do anything that I want to, I just have to write it on my list and then make it so. (number one.)

These women were a little baffled. "You have a list of things you want to do before you die?"

"Yes," I replied, "don't you?"

One of the women stated that the kind of "goals" she sets revolve solely around her children and husband and seeing that they are successful and happy.

When she said that I have to admit that I felt pretty guilty because it my list made me feel and look selfish.

 The things that were on my Bucket List were things that were important to ME, and me alone. Sure there were things on there that my family benefits from, but for the most part the things that I've put on my list are things that I want to accomplish, do or see before I die.

As I've thought about this exchange I have decided that it's  MY list and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with me having a list of things that I want to accomplish or see before I die. People can put on their Bucket Lists whatever they want, and if it is solely built around their husband and children and it works for them and fulfills them, then groovy.

My list is not.

The women were very curious about what else I had put on my list and so I started naming off some of the the things that were on my list: 

1. See Oprah 
2. See U2 in Concert  (twice)
3. Go on a Mission
4. Get Married in the Temple
5. Be a Mother (four times)
6. Be on a TV Show  (hosted my own show)
7. Be on a Radio Show (multiple times and my show was also on the radio)
8. Plan and organize events (twice)
9. Live in Chicago
10. Travel to China

In the process of naming off some of the things that were on my list that I have been making for the past twenty years, I realized something profound. I had accomplished everything that I had written on my list. Even all the crazy things? Yup. They were crossed off.

My infamous list was complete.

They asked me what I had left to accomplish and I was flabbergasted when I responded "Nothing. I've crossed them all off."

"Really?" They replied. "What are you going to do now?"  I responded "I'll just start making a new list."

And, that's what I've done.

I sat down that night and started making a new list of pipe dreams that I had. Things that I wanted to accomplish, do or see "Before I Die" (work for an airline) and I've started crossing those off my list now (see Dave Matthews Band in Concert).

 It's interesting to me to compare my lists and see how I have changed, and then how I haven't. I still have lots of crazy pipe dreams, places I want to visit and bands I want to see in concert but I also have different Bucket List items. Items like "See my child get married in the Temple" or "Kiss by first Grand-baby and whisper in their ear that I love them."

Don't get me wrong, I still have the crazy dreams, but I also have the more meaningful, hard to quantify ones, too.

Bucket Lists are meant to be about you and for you. It's what you want to accomplish before you die so you can die with no regrets. There is nothing selfish about that, and don't you let anyone shame you into thinking that there is. If all you have ever wanted to do is be a wife and a mother, and you're doing that (or have done it), then maybe its time for you to re-write your bucket list and add some new dreams to it because you have accomplished your "Before I Die" list.

What was that one crazy dream you had as child that you really wanted to do? Sing on Broadway? Dance in the Nutcracker? Kiss at the top of the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day?

Write it down.

 That's not selfish. That's acknowledging your dreams and giving them room to soar.

There is nothing selfish in having dreams, people. It's what keeps us moving forward, especially in the tough times.

Dreams. It's what our lives should be made of -- especially the crazy, pipe dreams.

Dreams, or Bucket Lists, are the difference between living and just merely existing. Go live your life and be brave and bold enough to write those dreams down.

I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think its the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person. - Audry Hepburn

Word.

I love to laugh. There is absolutely nothing that is more cleansing than a good gut-busting laugh. One that leaves you with tears streaming down your face and a little wet spot in your panties. It's healing for the soul to just laugh. Especially when you feel like crying.

There are certain people that you turn to who make you see the funny parts of life and then they laugh at you. Which then helps you be able to laugh at yourself. Being able to do that is essential to survival. You cannot take yourself so seriously that you can't laugh at yourself.

Being able to see the humor in your life is an important tool that I have tried to teach my children.

Be able to laugh at yourself. Others will, that's for sure. And, if you can laugh at yourself, it takes away their power and makes you more desirable. Wanna know why?

Cause you can laugh at yourself.

Laughter. It's a beautiful thing.

***

It's official. I'm old peeps.

How did I finally come to this conclusion? Well, I'll tell you. When I was younger, I was a thrill seeker. Anything I could do to get an adrenalin rush, I would seek after these things. I loved that rush. I rock climbed, rock repelled, went spelunking, mountain biking, back country skiing, river rafting, anything that was exciting or even just a titch dangerous, you could count me in.
 
Now?

I get anxious riding the freaking Sky Ride at Lagoon.

I spend the whole time holding on to my babies begging them not to move a single muscle because I'm afraid they're going to slide off the ride and plummet to their death.

Roller Coasters not only make me majorly sick and give me vertigo, I worry the kids are going to fall out or the roller coaster is going to break and they'll all die.

Totally un-healthy fears? Yes. That's how I know I'm old.

I'm afraid of getting hurt and leaving my babies motherless and further, I'm afraid they will get hurt and leave me baby-less.

Which would be a fate worse than death, yo.

***
I am happy to report that I have kept up my goal of doing one fun thing a day with my children this summer. Even if that one fun thing is just going to get snow cones and the worlds best corn dogs. We're doing something adventurous every day and I am enjoying the hell out of my summer vacation.

Jefe said to me yesterday that he couldn't wait for school to start. I looked at him like he'd grown three heads. That is the first time I have ever heard him say something like that. Usually its me counting down the days until the schedule returns to normal. But not this year. I'm loving the bohemian life. It fits me like a weathered old glove.

When I asked why he wanted school to start, he responded that we're all home more when everyone is in school.

Which I understand. Jefe wants his people home, not gallivanting all over kingdom come.

***

Isn't she a beauty?

I took Thing 1 up to register for University classes this past week. It brought back so many memories. I went to this school and absolutely loved it. It was a fantastic experience and I made so many wonderful friends. I am excited for her and this new adventure that she is embarking on. And, the little girls are thrilled that she is going to live at home.

Honestly? Me too.

I would miss her entirely too much if she were to move out yet. This mama is not ready to let her fly away.

It seems like yesterday that this little critter entered my life and it was forever changed. For good. She has been the light of my life and has brought me so much joy. I have enjoyed so much watching her grow up. Don't get me wrong, she's been a pill at times, worrying this old bag of bones, but for the most part, she has been an absolutely delightful child to raise. She is obedient (except for keeping her room cleaned), hasn't been out partying it up like a banshee. She is just a good kid. A talented kid. A smart kid. And, I'm so grateful to be her mother.

It's been interesting to me the past couple of months, because I can feel the dynamics of our relationship changing. She is an adult now, and as such is more of an equal. We give her advice on what to do, and even push her to make better choices (or any choice at all cough*college*cough) but then we let her govern herself. We have rules we expect her to follow, but I feel our relationship changing and I dearly love this new friendship we have. She is such a quick witted, delightful child. I'm so glad she's mine.

***

That's about all the randomness that I can vomit up for this week. Take it easy and remember to keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times, hold on tight and have fun!



1. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For (Live) - U2
2. Gone Gone Gone - Phillips Phillips
3. Southern Girl - Amos Lee
4. My Town - Montgomery Gentry
5. SkyFall - Adele
6. Bluesology - The Modern Jazz Quartet
7. Life's A Happy Song - The Muppets
8. La Vie En Rose - Louis Armstrong
9. Dog Days Are Over - Florence + The Machine
10. Come On Get Higher - Matt Nathanson

Bonus: Come Pick Me Up - Ryan Adams

Here's a view from Crazyland via Instagram. I love that app. Its my favorite, especially now that you can upload videos. Simply Brilliant. Jefe told me the other day that he was so glad that I did Instagram because he was able to see all the things we were up to as a family while he was off at work.It is a wonderful way to capture the minuta of our lives and we all know that I'm a big advocate of doing that.

Remember that all the photos were taken with my iPhone 5 and edited with the iPhone. 

I can't believe that we are half way through with summer vacation. It seems totally impossible. This summer vacation is just flying by and I am feeling rather gypped.

I have tried my hardest to do something fun with my two little girls every day-- even if all we did was go and get a snow-cone. I want them to be able to say, when they lay down for bed at night,  that they did one fun thing that day.

Am I spoiling them?

Yes.

So what?

Life is too short to not try and make a fun memory with the people you love on a daily basis. It doesn't have to cost money to do that either. It just requires you making an effort to be present in the moment. Whatever the moment is, be present. And that my friends, is a hard thing for us to do. This generation that has been taught that multi-tasking is how you represent your level of success. And in reality when we are "multi-tasking" we are missing out on the most important moments that are happening right in front of our nose.

Be present people, and make a fun memory daily.

***
The fourth of July is my favorite holiday. And not for any other reason that its an excuse to be lazy. People expect you to take a nap on the 4th. They expect you to lay around in the sun, eating yourself into a coma and just being with the people you love. I got to do all of that. I worked the early morning shift at work which, oddly enough, makes me happy. I ate a sweet french toast breakfast cooked by Jefe and actually took a nap at 930am.

I got to hang out with my friends and family at the parade -- and I forgot to put sunscreen on my feet of all places and got a rather lovely sunburn. I watched a ridiculous amount of stupid floats cars come by in the parade throwing out tons of candy. Which apparently must have been an extremely rare form of candy judging by the amount of adults rushing around trying to get the candy.


My favorite part of this holiday is the water parade AFTER the real parade. Oh. My. Word. I love it like a fat kids loves cake. After the parade is over, they wait about 15 minutes to allow everyone time to get out of dodge that doesn't want to get wet. Then the real fun starts.

Floats designed specifically for the water parade come down the road and its a giant town water fight. I love watching my entire town play together, getting wet. It absolutely sends me over the moon. They have the construction trucks that shoot water hundreds of feet in the "water parade" and they are spraying the crowd as fast as the crowd is spraying them back.

People will take tarps and line their pickup trucks with the tarps and then fill up the entire back of the trucks with water to then be used to fill bucket after bucket to dump on people. It seriously is the happiest thing in the world for me to watch.

My town.

My town playing together, bonding.

It's seriously the best place to live. Period.

After the water fight, we ate The Worlds Best Corn dogs which, frankly ARE the worlds best corn dogs. They are so freaking good they put you in a corn dog coma.


Which is totally worth the bazillion calories those puppies have. Seriously people. These things are so damn good.  Fresh cornmeal batter on a giant dog, deep fried on the spot and then drizzled with honey and mustard (my personal favorite). I didn't think I would be able to eat the entire monstrosity, but oh my heavens, I did. And it was good.

It was an absolutely wonderful day culminated by the firework show of the century. My neighbors, apparently, were having a contest to see who could out do each other with their fireworks. It ended up being a finale type of display for over an hour. I didn't mind it at first, and had a great time sitting on my porch watching them respond to each other, trying to one each other up. But, the later the hour got, the more panicked I got because all I could see was that looming hour of 3:45am staring me in the face. I had to work this morning and staying up until 11 or so makes it rather difficult to get out of bed.

I love the 4th of July for all those reasons listed above and about seventy bazillion more. I have wonderful memories associated with this holiday. Happy memories that leave me with that happy, peaceful feeling whenever I think about them. I love where I live. I love this country. And I love that my family is together. We made it and that, in and of itself is reason enough to celebrate. Every. Single. Day.

Amen.

***
1. Wonderwall - Ryan Adams
2.  Shout Out Loud - Amos Lee
3. Somebody That I Used to Know - Gotye
4. Dirty Rain (acoustic) - Ryan Adams
5. In Need of A Miracle - New Radicals
6. This Love (Acoustic) - Maroon 5
7. Sweetest Thing - U2
8. Mercy (Live) - Dave Matthews Band
9. Wanted - Hunter Hayes
10. Colors - Amos Lee

Bonus Track: She Will Be Loved (Acoustic) - Maroon 5

  From the Happiest place on earth!