Signed! Sealed! Delievered!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
I have signed the eviction notice.
Now. Lest you think that it was MY eviction notice... well it was. Sort of. You see, I have this Crazylady that likes to reside in my head.
She gets especially annoying after I have had a baby. She tries to convince me to do or think all sorts crazy things, and in all honesty, sometimes I do. She likes to convince me that everything is falling apart, and my life is being rapidly thrown in the pooper.
Really.
Isn't that depressing? And further quite annoying. I have been able to ignore this unwanted resident for quite awhile; however, these past couple of weeks, I swear, she has been working some serious overtime!
For instance, when ima10cow's baby was born, she weighed 9lbs 2oz and when Loubop's baby was born he weighed 7lbs 6oz. Nothing crazy in that right? Well. Crazylady started her campaign. Moxie was 7lbs 1 oz. Just a little petite thing to me, but not to Crazylady. You see, Loubop's baby gained about 2lbs in 2 weeks. Moxie gained 1lb. So, because she only gained 1lb, the Crazylady was trying to convince me that she had failure to thrive. I know retarded. However she was really working her mojo on me, and I'll be danged if I didn't fall for it! I was convinced that Moxie was not thriving so I sent my sister out to buy me a herbal supplements to take that increases your milk supply.
Yes. I. Did. (hear that? it's me, banging my head against the keyboard!)
I took herbs to make more milk... which in turn makes your boobs bigger (doh! I know. I have no one to blame for these size G's but me! ). Crazylady has THAT kind of power over me!
So. I now have these gigantic honkers, and Moxie has plenty of food to eat. That should quiet the Crazylady, right? Ohhh. NOoooo. You would be SO wrong. Now, because they are so huge, Moxie only needs to eat on 1 side to get full. Well. That gave the Crazylady all sorts of new ammunition. "See Motherboard? She only eats on 1 side, she SO has failure to thrive! She has no desire to eat on both sides. Oh Motherboard, when will you see the light? You need to do something about Moxie not eating on both sides... before she dies..."
Oh. Yes. She. Did.
She was still trying to convince me that since I now have enough milk to feed a small third world country, she was still failing to thrive because she couldn't eat on both sides.
Never mind the fact that her tummy is TINY!
I know. I know. As I am writing this, I too am shaking my head.
So. Crazylady took control. I started weighing myself. Then weighing me holding Moxie. I did this several times. But, I was convinced that the scale was wrong.
Then it happened.
Thing 1 broke her finger. (that came out of left field, didn't it?)
She did. And the Crazylady that was inhabiting my brain was all "Oh. We have to go to the Dr. now! oh! I know! I will get them to weigh Moxie."
Nothing about "Man Thing 1, that sucks that you broke your finger and can't bend it and its swollen and gross!" No. She was only thinking about getting Moxie weighed. But, in my defense, I did give Thing 1 all sorts of love and kisses and hugs. I was trying my hardest to evict that stupid woman residing in my brain!
Really. I was.
So, I took Thing 1 to insta-care to get her finger x-rayed, and a splint put on it. I was arguing rather harshly with the Crazylady about not wanting to look like a complete whack-job asking to have Moxie weighed. However, Crazylady won, and as I sheepishly asked the Dr. to weigh my baby I was thinking about how many times I was going to have to bang my head against the wall when I got home. The Dr was very accommodating, and weighed the baby.
She weighed 8lbs 8oz. and I took control again.
But, she again started to rear her ugly little head again when Moxie didn't poop for 3 days. "shes constipated, motherboard. you need to take her to the dr again motherboard. what if she explodes motherboard?"
Seriously! I know what you are thinking, 'cause I'm thinking it too-- Shut up already, you Crazy Crazylady!
But, I still worried. Fretted. Panicked. She's STILL not getting enough to eat?? is what that obnoxious woman had me thinking... (never mind the milk supply for 3rd world countries I'm carrying around!) I read everything I could find on a newborns poop cycle. (yes. that IS gross. I'm very educated on that topic now. AND--note to self, stay off the internet when crazylady is trying to convince you your baby is dying... nothing good comes from it!)
I was worried about massive explosions or something worse. Much much worse.
And then it happened.
She pooped. Boy oh boy. Did she EVER poop.
And thats when I realized that this woman, this Crazylady HAD to go. She was causing me too much stress.
No more squatting in my brain lady!! Go get your own freaking place!
So, I signed the eviction notice. She is no longer welcome here. Get out!
And so far she's gone.
Well.
That is until next time Moxie does something I'm not expecting.
p.s. Moxie weighs 9lbs 1 oz now. So take THAT Crazylady!
(this is me sticking my tongue out at her! :>p )
Now. Lest you think that it was MY eviction notice... well it was. Sort of. You see, I have this Crazylady that likes to reside in my head.
She gets especially annoying after I have had a baby. She tries to convince me to do or think all sorts crazy things, and in all honesty, sometimes I do. She likes to convince me that everything is falling apart, and my life is being rapidly thrown in the pooper.Really.
Isn't that depressing? And further quite annoying. I have been able to ignore this unwanted resident for quite awhile; however, these past couple of weeks, I swear, she has been working some serious overtime!
For instance, when ima10cow's baby was born, she weighed 9lbs 2oz and when Loubop's baby was born he weighed 7lbs 6oz. Nothing crazy in that right? Well. Crazylady started her campaign. Moxie was 7lbs 1 oz. Just a little petite thing to me, but not to Crazylady. You see, Loubop's baby gained about 2lbs in 2 weeks. Moxie gained 1lb. So, because she only gained 1lb, the Crazylady was trying to convince me that she had failure to thrive. I know retarded. However she was really working her mojo on me, and I'll be danged if I didn't fall for it! I was convinced that Moxie was not thriving so I sent my sister out to buy me a herbal supplements to take that increases your milk supply.
Yes. I. Did. (hear that? it's me, banging my head against the keyboard!)
I took herbs to make more milk... which in turn makes your boobs bigger (doh! I know. I have no one to blame for these size G's but me! ). Crazylady has THAT kind of power over me!
So. I now have these gigantic honkers, and Moxie has plenty of food to eat. That should quiet the Crazylady, right? Ohhh. NOoooo. You would be SO wrong. Now, because they are so huge, Moxie only needs to eat on 1 side to get full. Well. That gave the Crazylady all sorts of new ammunition. "See Motherboard? She only eats on 1 side, she SO has failure to thrive! She has no desire to eat on both sides. Oh Motherboard, when will you see the light? You need to do something about Moxie not eating on both sides... before she dies..."
Oh. Yes. She. Did.
She was still trying to convince me that since I now have enough milk to feed a small third world country, she was still failing to thrive because she couldn't eat on both sides.
Never mind the fact that her tummy is TINY!
I know. I know. As I am writing this, I too am shaking my head.
So. Crazylady took control. I started weighing myself. Then weighing me holding Moxie. I did this several times. But, I was convinced that the scale was wrong.
Then it happened.
Thing 1 broke her finger. (that came out of left field, didn't it?)
She did. And the Crazylady that was inhabiting my brain was all "Oh. We have to go to the Dr. now! oh! I know! I will get them to weigh Moxie."
Nothing about "Man Thing 1, that sucks that you broke your finger and can't bend it and its swollen and gross!" No. She was only thinking about getting Moxie weighed. But, in my defense, I did give Thing 1 all sorts of love and kisses and hugs. I was trying my hardest to evict that stupid woman residing in my brain!
Really. I was.
So, I took Thing 1 to insta-care to get her finger x-rayed, and a splint put on it. I was arguing rather harshly with the Crazylady about not wanting to look like a complete whack-job asking to have Moxie weighed. However, Crazylady won, and as I sheepishly asked the Dr. to weigh my baby I was thinking about how many times I was going to have to bang my head against the wall when I got home. The Dr was very accommodating, and weighed the baby.
She weighed 8lbs 8oz. and I took control again.
But, she again started to rear her ugly little head again when Moxie didn't poop for 3 days. "shes constipated, motherboard. you need to take her to the dr again motherboard. what if she explodes motherboard?"
Seriously! I know what you are thinking, 'cause I'm thinking it too-- Shut up already, you Crazy Crazylady!
But, I still worried. Fretted. Panicked. She's STILL not getting enough to eat?? is what that obnoxious woman had me thinking... (never mind the milk supply for 3rd world countries I'm carrying around!) I read everything I could find on a newborns poop cycle. (yes. that IS gross. I'm very educated on that topic now. AND--note to self, stay off the internet when crazylady is trying to convince you your baby is dying... nothing good comes from it!)
I was worried about massive explosions or something worse. Much much worse.
And then it happened.
She pooped. Boy oh boy. Did she EVER poop.
And thats when I realized that this woman, this Crazylady HAD to go. She was causing me too much stress.
No more squatting in my brain lady!! Go get your own freaking place!
So, I signed the eviction notice. She is no longer welcome here. Get out!
And so far she's gone.
Well.
That is until next time Moxie does something I'm not expecting.
p.s. Moxie weighs 9lbs 1 oz now. So take THAT Crazylady!
(this is me sticking my tongue out at her! :>p )
