ANOTHER Open Letter

Dear Qwest,

You suck and I hate you. I do. I hate you more than I hate bananas. And, that's a lot.

When are you going to get your act together? Are you really content at being craptastic?

Yeah yeah yeah. I know. You told me that if I'm so unhappy, I should just switch Internet providers.

Well Guess what? I'm the lucky winner because you are the only one that services my house.

The only. freaking. one.

(woe is me!)

Everyone on my street has Comcast. Except me. And it sucks. Big time.

Do you hear that noise?

Yeah.

That's me.

Moaning and wailing and gnashing my teeth. Oh and don't forget the banging my head against my computer screen either.

To quote Thing 3 "This is a big problem. BBbiiiiiiiiiggggggGG!!! Huge problem. How are we supposed to know stuff? How are we going to call Grandma??"

That's my question exactly.

How on earth do you expect us to go on living when you crash every other second? Or worse, when you crash and then can't get turned back on for like 3 days--"Because we just don't know what the problem is, but we're working on it..."

Three whole freaking LONG days.

How are we supposed to figure out what dolphins eat? Or what Maryland's geographical regions are like?

How are we supposed to learn how to do pre-fah-reeking- Calculus without the services of Google?

How, I ask you?

How?

Remember when I told you that I wanted you, dear stupid Qwest, to pay me $25 every time I couldn't access the Internet? Yeah. I would have my student loans AND my house paid off by now.

Seriously, it's that bad.

Oh how I wish I could have the super-powerful-glorious-the-one-and-only-true-Internet-on-the-whole-face-of-the-earth- Comcast!

(insert Angels singing the Hallelujah chorus)

But alas, I am stuck with you, Stupid, Craptastic Qwest.

So, here's the thing:

Get it freaking together! You are really screwing with my Mojo and I don't have time for this!

Sincerely,

Motherboard