Father Forgive Me, But Sometimes Church is Boring

In our old church that we went to in Chicago, we had a guy that would get up to the pulpit during testimony meeting and punctuate his sentences with Elvis Presley impersonations. Then before he would end his testimony, he would do some Woody Woodpecker sound effects.

No. Lie.

Sacrament time was a blast, because you never knew what you were going to get!

We had another guy that would get up every month and tell us how many times that month he had “fallen” and used drugs or drank. It was uncomfortable—but fun. And REAL.

We even had people get up and accidentally swear over the pulpit!

Now?

Nothing.

There is no need for those seat belts to be fastened people, because it's predictable and almost—dare I say it? – Boring!

(did you hear the whoosh of unsubscribe being hit?)

I get bored in Sacrament meeting now.

I know. I am bad.

Jefe and I use Moxie as an excuse to leave particularly boring meetings, or ones where people are sharing just a little TOO much information.

You know the ones right?

So, even if Moxie is being good as gold (which is usually what it is), we take her out because we are bored.

(Save the lectures.)

I know that I should be sitting there, following along in my scriptures. Praying. Thinking of Jesus.

But, in reality I am trying to keep World War III  from breaking out back there in the back. You know—"The Terrestrial Kingdom"?

(Also known as The Over Flow.)

Most Moms will sit there in church with rapt attention, ignoring the increasing noise level.

Not me.

If my kids are being naughty? They get in trouble.

When YOUR kids are being naughty?

I take Moxie out.