Actual Conversation
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Jefe and I took the kids to stay in a Condo recently for a long weekend. It was a much needed relaxing weekend. We were a bunch of lazys-- laying around reading, sleeping... just vegging.The condo was crazy Mac-Daddy nice! The bed was gigantic and fluffy. We decided after sleeping in that bed all weekend it was time to get us a Mac-Daddy bed too.
Apparently I took both sets of my keys and inadvertently left one in the condo. I had no idea until the owner of the condo called me to see if I wanted them back.
No. I'll let you keep them. Then you can come and stalk my family.
OF COURSE I want them back.
Sheesh.
Condo Man: Motherboard? You left your keys in our condo. Would you like to get them back?
Me: I did? Holy Cow. Yes! I do want them back. Can I come and get them?
CM: I can mail them to you. Where do you live?
Me: 5768 Crazytown USA
CM: How serendipitous! (yes he did. He totally said that) I am going to be in Crazytown tomorrow night doing a presentation. Why don't you swing by the home I'll be at and pick them up then.
Me: Sure. What's the address?
CM: 3409 Crazytown USA. Do you know this person? Crazytown isn't that big. I'm from LA so nothing is as big as where I live.
Me: {bristling a bit} Uhh. It's pretty big and I have no idea who that is.
CM: What does your husband do for a living?
Me: {getting really irritated} He is a partner at a law firm.
CM: And what is your career?
Me: I'm a SAHM.
CM: {he launches into a LONG boring diatribe about a stupid MLM)
Me: Huh. Sounds like its been really good to you.
CM: Well. It's perfect for YOU. I mean you're JUST a stay at home mom, so you have TONS of time to do this. You could make a lot of money to help your family. I usually charge $100 to come and listen to me speak, but I'll let you come and hear me for free. Then after you sign up, I'll give you your keys.
**Crickets chirping. **
OH. YES. HE. DID.
He was totally holding my keys hostage.
Come listen to the goon speak and I'll get my keys.
Avoid him like the plague and lose my keys.
Thank heavens Home Depot makes copies.
