Noises Off!!

There are a lot of adjustments when it comes to moving... unpacking the boxes, finding the "right" Doctor, finding a good gas station, your favorite grocery store, and the noises. Everywhere you live, you have your typical noises. But, it seems like those noises are amplified at night, and especially when it's a new environment. I swear, last night, I heard them all!! Every single last little one! You know the ones that I am talking about... the ones where if you've lived there a while, you can tell yourself "Oh, thats just the water softener kicking on" or " thats just a tree rubbing against the rain gutters", or " thats just the neighbor's dog barking"... but when you are in a new environment... everything seems louder, and scarier! Last night it was raining. I woke up in a panic, thinking someone was breaking into the house... NOPE! Just the wind attacking my windows with fervor! I get settled back down, and am just dropping off to sleep, when I hear, what sounds to me like a CRASH! I panic, check on all the kids... Umm, nope, just one of the kids' toys falling off their bed. I get settled down, yet again, and hear a low, long "HISSSSSSSSSS" What the heck?? I think for sure I am on to something... and start following the sound... all the way to the basement. It's just the watersoftener kicking on. Now I am wide awake! I tried the whole counting thing... 1 one thousand, 2 one thousand, 3 one thousand...not working.... 4 one thousand, 5 one thousand 6 one thousand... still wide awake.... What do you do when you are wide awake and its 4:00 in the morning? You do what every other normal person does... you watch infomercials.

Did you know that you can now buy software that will teach you, yes teach you, how to use Ebay? As if! They say that they can teach you how to make the sure fire auctions and you can make up to $5,000 a week!! Wow! If I had NO brain whatsoever, that would sound pretty inticing to me.... You even have a 90 day money back gaurentee... all risk free for the 1 time low, low price of $49.99 plus shipping and handeling(which happens to be another 20 bucks!)

This leads me nicely into my next point. Everyone knows someone who is a sucker for infomercials... Well my friend told me the funniest story today about a person that we both know. He is kindof a dork. Well, that is actually putting it nicely. He is a complete weirdo. His mother refers to him as "unique". That's just a nice way to say "my son is freaking weirdo!" But, hey, what do I know? Anyway, Anonymous Weirdo is addicted to infomercials. He is out to make it rich, and do it quick, without any work....There are so many stories to be told about Anonymous Weirdo, but this is the latest. He bought boxes and boxes of vitamin supplements. He was convinced that this was how he was going to make his millions. He purchased so many boxes of the supplements, that the bedroom where Anonymous Weirdo's son sleeps is too full for the son. He told my friends husband, Anonymous Lawyer, that he wanted to sue this vitamin supplement company. "They stole his money." He asked A.W "Why do you want to sue the company?" and A.W. replied: "Well, they said in the infomercial that this stuff was a 'sure thing! it would sell itself' Well, it's not selling itself... its all still sitting in that bedroom taking up space! The Vitamins are not selling themselves!!" Oh my!! Ummm....
Note to self: Vitamins do not sell themselves! Do not believe anyone who tells you they do!