Life Lessons from Olive Garden
Monday, November 30, 2009
Recently I was invited to go to dinner with a gal I knew from church. We weren't friends, so to speak, just friendly. She was having a little dinner party, and invited me to attend. I really only knew one person there. The other ten women were friends of hers that she had collected over the years.
As she introduced me to one of her friends, she said "This is Motherboard. We go to church together." The woman immediately said "She won't like me then. I scare Mormons" and then she turned around and walked away. I was a little taken back, and wondered why she would draw an immediate conclusion like that about me.
Then I realized why. She was a Lesbian.
I'll be honest with you, I was afraid of her. I really don't know why, but I was.
Now, before you get all Judgey-McJudgey pants on me, let me assure you that I have several friends that are Gay. I don't have a problem with their life choices because they are their life choices. Not mine.
As I sat there quietly listening to the conversation, I realized other than our sexual preferences, this woman and I had a lot in common. She told me that she was a returned missionary... So was I. She worked for a bank that my husband was legal counsel for. She loved Chicago and good food... Just like me. She also told me that she wished her visiting teachers and home teachers would come and visit her, but she scares them away because of how she chooses to live.
Then I understood.
If she had been assigned to be on my route before I had gotten to know her, I would have been like all the others. I would have labeled her with that nasty label and not visited her. I'm ashamed to admit that, but it's the truth. And that totally sucks.
I had judged her when we first met. And, honestly? I had judged her based on a label.. Not the person. But when I took the time to take that label off and see her for who she was, I saw A Child of God. A woman worth knowing.
We all do it. We all have labels that we assign people. There's the Working Mom; Stay-at-home Mom; Lazy Mom; Over Achiever Mom; Scary Lesbian; Super Mom; Perfect Mom; Non-Mormon; Democrat; Freaker Mom. . . You get the idea. We have boxes or expectations of how we assume the "label" would or should behave, act or think.
My epiphany was that these labels are typically wrong. If we stop at only the label, then we could be missing out on not the label, but A PERSON. These labels makes us feel safe, I guess. But by sticking to the labels we assign people, we are avoiding a great gift that God has given us-- Relationships/friendships with others.
If we avoid dealing with people that are different than us or make us feel uncomfortable, how do we expect to become more like the Savior? Becoming more like the Savior-- learning to frankly forgive, not judge and love unconditionally-- can only be done when we engage in relationships/friendships with people. Sans labels. Or judgment.
I left the Olive Garden that night with the desire to try a little hard to be less of a Judgey-Mcjudgey-pants and more like the Savior. More forgiving. More kind. More loving. And to see people the way he does... With unconditional love.
As she introduced me to one of her friends, she said "This is Motherboard. We go to church together." The woman immediately said "She won't like me then. I scare Mormons" and then she turned around and walked away. I was a little taken back, and wondered why she would draw an immediate conclusion like that about me.
Then I realized why. She was a Lesbian.
I'll be honest with you, I was afraid of her. I really don't know why, but I was.
Now, before you get all Judgey-McJudgey pants on me, let me assure you that I have several friends that are Gay. I don't have a problem with their life choices because they are their life choices. Not mine.
As I sat there quietly listening to the conversation, I realized other than our sexual preferences, this woman and I had a lot in common. She told me that she was a returned missionary... So was I. She worked for a bank that my husband was legal counsel for. She loved Chicago and good food... Just like me. She also told me that she wished her visiting teachers and home teachers would come and visit her, but she scares them away because of how she chooses to live.
Then I understood.
If she had been assigned to be on my route before I had gotten to know her, I would have been like all the others. I would have labeled her with that nasty label and not visited her. I'm ashamed to admit that, but it's the truth. And that totally sucks.
I had judged her when we first met. And, honestly? I had judged her based on a label.. Not the person. But when I took the time to take that label off and see her for who she was, I saw A Child of God. A woman worth knowing.
We all do it. We all have labels that we assign people. There's the Working Mom; Stay-at-home Mom; Lazy Mom; Over Achiever Mom; Scary Lesbian; Super Mom; Perfect Mom; Non-Mormon; Democrat; Freaker Mom. . . You get the idea. We have boxes or expectations of how we assume the "label" would or should behave, act or think.
My epiphany was that these labels are typically wrong. If we stop at only the label, then we could be missing out on not the label, but A PERSON. These labels makes us feel safe, I guess. But by sticking to the labels we assign people, we are avoiding a great gift that God has given us-- Relationships/friendships with others.
If we avoid dealing with people that are different than us or make us feel uncomfortable, how do we expect to become more like the Savior? Becoming more like the Savior-- learning to frankly forgive, not judge and love unconditionally-- can only be done when we engage in relationships/friendships with people. Sans labels. Or judgment.
I left the Olive Garden that night with the desire to try a little hard to be less of a Judgey-Mcjudgey-pants and more like the Savior. More forgiving. More kind. More loving. And to see people the way he does... With unconditional love.
