Cats cats cats. I hate cats.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
I've never been fond of cats. I know, I know. There are a plethora of you out there that love your cats like they're your children. But, honestly? I don't get it. Cat's don't DO anything.
Now, if you were professing your deep seeded affection for the Canine species, I would totally get it. Dogs are cool. They greet you, whilst wagging their rears. They happily go on walks with you, and will gladly fetch things and bring it to you... For you to promptly turn around and throw away again.
Cats? They're stuck up. They don't come when they're called, and they don't fetch. I really don't see why people are so enamored with them.
Now, before you send me all your scathing emails, let me just say that I am deathly allergic. Deathly. I really mean that word, Deathly. I went to a person's home for dinner once that had cats, and had to swing by the ER on my way home.
That little tidbit right there I suppose is reason enough to not like cats. However, the last few nights, I have had my dislike for cats go from just that... dislike to Loathing. Disgust. Pure hatred.
Why? Well. There is a neighborhood cat that has taken a liking to my front porch. That, in and of itself is not a big deal. What is a big deal is that this cat likes my front porch only at 2:00 in the morning. And, it likes to let the entire street know that it likes my front porch, and you better back off.
Yes. The damn cat howls. On my porch. At 2:00 in the morning.
Why it likes my porch is beyond me. I think its taunting my dog. Only my dog doesn't care because she is snoring on my couch, sound asleep! Which is what critters do when its 2:00 in the morning!
But that cat?
It's howling.
Really loudly.
On my front porch.
Right outside my bedroom window.
Can I tell you how scary it is to be woken up at 2:00 in the morning to a howling cat? Almost as scary as the time I was woken up to a howling cat AND howling coyotes.
(yes. Jan. It was at your parents house, and it scared me so bad I actually contemplated crying!)
I whisper yelled at the cat to get off my porch. Which it did... for like 1o minutes. 10 minutes is long enough to be almost totally asleep people.
Then "rrrr-AAAWWW-rrrrrrrrr" so loud it sounded like it was coming through a mega phone! It makes the hair on your back of your neck stand up, and your heart starts beating something crazy... Like 200 beats a minute.
Seriously scary people!
Do you know how loud and scary that is when you are in that sleepy state? Really loud and really scary. This went on for quite a while. Me scaring the cat away, and the cat waking me back up.
I swear that freaking cat must have climbed my tree so it could see when I was almost asleep. I kid you not, as soon as I was visiting the pink fluffy cloud land, that cat! The devil cat himself would start howling again.
All night long people. And, do you think Jefe heard it? Or the kids heard it? Nope. (he says he only heard it AFTER I did the noise making thing to scare it away)
Seriously. I hate cats.
So, how do I get rid of the mad howling cat? Cause my sons BB gun is looking pretty good right about now!
Now, if you were professing your deep seeded affection for the Canine species, I would totally get it. Dogs are cool. They greet you, whilst wagging their rears. They happily go on walks with you, and will gladly fetch things and bring it to you... For you to promptly turn around and throw away again.
Cats? They're stuck up. They don't come when they're called, and they don't fetch. I really don't see why people are so enamored with them.
Now, before you send me all your scathing emails, let me just say that I am deathly allergic. Deathly. I really mean that word, Deathly. I went to a person's home for dinner once that had cats, and had to swing by the ER on my way home.
That little tidbit right there I suppose is reason enough to not like cats. However, the last few nights, I have had my dislike for cats go from just that... dislike to Loathing. Disgust. Pure hatred.
Why? Well. There is a neighborhood cat that has taken a liking to my front porch. That, in and of itself is not a big deal. What is a big deal is that this cat likes my front porch only at 2:00 in the morning. And, it likes to let the entire street know that it likes my front porch, and you better back off.
Yes. The damn cat howls. On my porch. At 2:00 in the morning.
Why it likes my porch is beyond me. I think its taunting my dog. Only my dog doesn't care because she is snoring on my couch, sound asleep! Which is what critters do when its 2:00 in the morning!
But that cat?
It's howling.
Really loudly.
On my front porch.
Right outside my bedroom window.
Can I tell you how scary it is to be woken up at 2:00 in the morning to a howling cat? Almost as scary as the time I was woken up to a howling cat AND howling coyotes.
(yes. Jan. It was at your parents house, and it scared me so bad I actually contemplated crying!)
I whisper yelled at the cat to get off my porch. Which it did... for like 1o minutes. 10 minutes is long enough to be almost totally asleep people.
Then "rrrr-AAAWWW-rrrrrrrrr" so loud it sounded like it was coming through a mega phone! It makes the hair on your back of your neck stand up, and your heart starts beating something crazy... Like 200 beats a minute.
Seriously scary people!
Do you know how loud and scary that is when you are in that sleepy state? Really loud and really scary. This went on for quite a while. Me scaring the cat away, and the cat waking me back up.
I swear that freaking cat must have climbed my tree so it could see when I was almost asleep. I kid you not, as soon as I was visiting the pink fluffy cloud land, that cat! The devil cat himself would start howling again.
All night long people. And, do you think Jefe heard it? Or the kids heard it? Nope. (he says he only heard it AFTER I did the noise making thing to scare it away)
Seriously. I hate cats.
So, how do I get rid of the mad howling cat? Cause my sons BB gun is looking pretty good right about now!
