I am embarrassed to admit this little nugget... but here goes.
I like Kid Rock. (isn't that such a dirty little secret??)
Not all of his songs, granted. Some of them are pretty gross.
But. There are some that are just plain awesome. When he puts his mind to it, he is a pretty good artist.
He has this new song out that my sister, ima10cow, and I were sort of getting a little ga-ga over. We didn't know who was singing it, or even what it was called. I remembered the day that we heard in on the radio station, and roughly what time... so I scrolled through their play lists until I saw/heard a song that was our little baby.
Yeah.
I am TOTALLY digging this song (all summer long).
The sampling in this song is wicked awesome! He has sampled 2 songs... do you hear them? I had to actually do a little research to figure out exactly which ones he sampled.. but they are there. ( I promise ima10cow... there really are 2!)

Give it a listen and see what you think. If you hear the 2 songs, leave me a comment with the correct names of the 2 songs... I just may have a prize (read: gift card!) for you!

Raise your hand if hanging out at a PTA convention sounds boring.
Yeah.
I thought so.
I spent all day yesterday on the campus of BYU attending a statewide PTA convention. This is the 1st time I have been involved with this organization, and I think I went a little overboard-- I am on the board of not only the Elementary school, but the board of the Junior High school as well.
I know. I know.

My main reason for going? Well the food of course. We got to eat all sorts of great food-- on someone else's dime. Why would I not go? I would be bored yes... but bored on a very full, happy stomach!

Imagine my complete surprise when I ran into Jenny. I have known her pretty much my entire life. She lived, for a time, next door to my Uncle & Aunt, and we would play together when I would go to visit. We had were in the same 3rd grade class but 7th grade was when we became best friends. We both played the flute in the band, and we rode the ski bus together. I had never been skiing, and my parents *MADE* me ride the bus every Saturday to go skiing (yes. i know. poor picked on me!). I was such a shy kid, and I knew no one that was riding that bus except for Jenny. She took me under her wing, and was quite literally my savior that year. I was having such a difficult time with friends, making them, keeping them, and Jenny quite literally saved me from it all. We went skiing together for years.(every Saturday from 7th through 10th grades). I have so many memories that involve her. From getting dropped off at various concerts-- Howard Jones, Chicago...
yes.
DROPPED OFF.
Can you imagine now doing such a thing? I know. We went to many a concert together, and swam together, and chased silly, stupid boys together.
Her grandma lived around the corner from me, and we would hang out every time she came to see her grandma. She spent many a day at my home, she was like another sister in our home. We were best friends all through Junior High School and our Sophomore year in high school. We were always there for each other, and good friends--- we just started getting involved in different things. But, I always thought of her as my best friend, even though we had other friends. Make sense? I always knew that she was there for me... whenever I needed her, and vice versa.

The second time she saved me was after we graduated from high school, and she *MADE* me go to the singles ward with her. She actually came to my house, got me out of bed and waited while I got dressed to go to church with her. She did that for several weeks until I could drag my lazy butt there on my own. She saved me from myself again. And I feel so grateful for her impact in my life.

After she got married, and I went on my mission, we lost touch. I would often think about her, and even a few times tried to Google her. I had really wanted to re-connect... but was at a loss as to how to find her.

Well.
I found her at the PTA convention. We sat and visited (much to the annoyance, i am sure of the other class attendees) and laughed, giggled and caught up on the last 15 years!! I am thrilled that I found her again!! I hope that we can re-connect and stay in touch this time. She was such an important part of my childhood, it would be nice to have a friend in my life that knows me, and will accept me... flaws and all.

We were both lost. But now we're found.
(And that was cheesy).

Some things have to be believed to be seen. - Ralph Hodgson

What a lovely day it is this morning already. I woke up to birds singing... what a wonderful way to wake up! It is supposed to be around 79 today.
79!!
Hallelujah! Praise Allah! Pass the eggnog!
I think a park visit will be in order... So Thing 3 can ride like the wind on her new 2 wheel bike. Well, its not new, but she has learned how to ride without training wheels... needless to say she has found a new freedom... and a new love.

But, first things first. What's your Random 10 Friday folks?
Have a lovely,fun filled warm day!

1. The Little Things - Colbie Caillat
2. Cold Roses - Ryan Adams
3. Mr. Curiosity - Jason Mraz
4. I Melt - Rascal Flatts
5. Violet Hill - Coldplay
6. Flowers - New Radicals
7. Medicate the Kids - Gavin DeGraw
8. So Hard - Dixie Chicks
9. I Want You To Want Me - Chris Isaak
10. I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor

Bonus: Love Is A Losing Game - Amy Winehouse

This is my Grandma... my Dad's mom. She died while I was on my mission, and it was really difficult for me. Right before she died, she sort of lost her mind a little bit. She would call my sister, islandmom, Trixie and I was Felicia. We thought that was hysterical... and my sister called me that for YEARS... sometimes still does. We would refer to those names as our "lady of the night names"... that is until my Dad informed us that those 2 names were the names of his horses.
Uhh. Ok?!
My Grandpa, My Dad's Dad. He had the greatest sense of humor. He would always tell me that he took Hay to bed with him. Every night. Then I was supposed to ask why, and he would say "why to feed my Charlie horses and your grandma's night mares." He wrote poems, and riddles and jokes. Recently, one year for Christmas, my Dad had all of Grandpa's writings typed and put into book form. I read it from cover to cover in 1 day. It is my treasure. At his funeral, my Dad told all of his favorite poems that Grandpa had written. He was always cold, so he would wear these wool long sleeved shirts and hide under his afghan. Even in the middle of the 100 degree summers.
My Grandpa died my senior year in high school, on Halloween. We all thought that was fitting because he was such a prankster. My Grandma had fallen 2 days before and broke her hip... and Grandpa died 2 days later... I really think he thought my Grandma had died, and died of a broken heart. I remember staying with him the night before he died until my Dad could get there. He slept a lot, and kept waking up to ask if my Dad was there yet. I really think he was waiting for him. He would smile and pat my hand and tell me he loved me and my Dad very much, then go back to sleep.

Right before my Grandma died, my Dad was video taping everyone to send to me on my mission... he had her say something and she quoted this particular hymn. My Dad says that he took her to church, and she would mostly sleep, but then again before she died, she wanted to bear her testimony. My Dad wheeled her up, and again, she quoted this particular hymn. Needless to say, it is one of my favorites.

Hymn # 240 Know This That Every Soul Is Free
Know this, that every soul is free
To choose his life, and what he'll be;
For this eternal truth is giv'n
That God will force no man to heav'n

He'll call persuade, direct aright,
And bless with wisdom, love and light,
In nameless ways be good and kind,
But never force the human mind.

Freedom and reason make us men;
Take these away, what are we then?
Mere animals, and just as well
The beasts may think of heav'n or hell.

May we no more our pow'rs abuse,
But ways of truth and goodness choose;
Our God is pleased when we improve
His grace and seek his perfect love.

I won this from my friend Michelle (she really is my friend. I've known her since like birth.) She had a give away on her blog from her etsy shop. These dolls are adorable, and the cards are amazing! I can't wait until I have a reason to use them! Go check out her site... I am thinking I want to buy some more of those dolls, cause Thing 3 is in HEAVEN!

Then imagine my surprise when I got another email saying I had won my friend Tiffany's give away on her blog from her etsy shop... It was this little package. Needless to say, I was estactic.

It was from my friend Tiffany... she too is a childhood friend. I stumbled onto her blog recently, and she makes these hand painted love boxes! I had admired them from afar, but after getting this in the mail I have to say that I am STUNNED at the beauty of these little boxes. The detail is incredible, and I can not even begin to imagine the amount of time she puts into every single box and every single detail!
They are absolutely stunning. The photos do not do this little box justice! It is incredible!

My first memory of Tiffany is trick or treating at her home. She and her siblings took us into their basement to go through their haunted house. Her father has a very, very deep voice, and he acted as "the tour guide... the creepy tour guide"(remember I was like 6... so everything is creepy to a 6 year old!) I remember we had to put our hands in a bowl of spaghetti, peeled grapes and other such scary things. We couldn't have our candy until we finished the haunted house. She was also my locker partner in high school, and I recently found all the old notes that she and I used to write to each other (yes. I am a pack rat); her Father was my stake president, and issued my call to serve my mission for my church.
Anyway.
There is history here. It has been wonderful to reconnect with her and I am thrilled to have won this little box, but not only the box, but my favorite candy on the this whole planet!! AND to find out this candy has only 100 calories??... Aww. Can you imagine my sheer joy??

Anyway. I won these fabulous gifts from some very old friends of mine. Go check out their shops... you won't regret it!

I have a bunch of stuff rambling around in my brain screaming to be let out... either that or its the crazylady rattling her cage... either way hang on, cause its purging time!

Moxie is only 2 months old and after 1 week home we had to run out and purchase a giant stash of binkies. She only likes the giant green plug kind... you've seen them, I'm sure. Jefe bought 8 packages of binkies. We thought "surely this will be enough binkies to get us through to the millenium" (there were 2 in each package!) Ohhh. NOooo... you would be SO wrong. Where do those stinking binkies go?? I don't understand it. We are down to the last 2 binkies... and its only been 6 weeks. Seriously people. Even with those handy dandy new fandangled clipy things, we have still lost them. I think someone is stealing them!

I have this basket full of socks. Most of the socks don't have mates. Where do the missing socks go? Really. My kids have taken to making hand puppets with the socks with no mates... My favorite is how the Great Salt Lake got made. (did you know that it involved wrestling?)

How does my house go from spotless when I go to bed to filthy dirty when I wake up? Are my children having secret parties while I sleep? Or is the dog inviting all her doggie friends over for a bash? I really don't understand it. I work hard all day to clean my house (someone asked if that to do list from last week was a day list or week list... it was my day list. I know. Scary), and seriously, when I wake up in the morning its been trashed. How does this happen??

I'm starting to see a pattern here...
It seems that I have a problem with gnomes... how does one go about de-gnoming their house? Cause this is getting a little ridiculous!

I want to get a couple of these retro phones to put in the various phone jacks I have around here. Why? Because retro is cool, and these are awesome! Wouldn't that be fun to see sitting on your kitchen counter? No?
Well, how about MY kitchen counter? Yes!
Besides, we still do have power outages, and a solid land line would be nice (instead of one that is plugged into electricity!)

My sister, islandmom, has a wicked sense of humor! (in teenage speak that means awesome!)
She got my dad one of THESE for his birthday one year. We had a total blast with it. He would have people call his cell phone and ask for the person sitting next to him and then he would hand the phone over to that person. I swear. It was the funniest thing I have seen in a LOONnnnggg time! Can you imagine the fun you could have with this?
Good times.
Yeah.
Good times.

Have you seen Jenna Bush's wedding photos?
Wowzers!
She is beautiful.
I'm not the biggest fan of the Bush clan-- hey! i'm a poet, and didn't know it!-- but she made an amazingly beautiful bride. On this same subject, did you hear Dubya's speech he gave at the white house correspondents dinner? I have to admit that I laughed at that one! Not because he was a dork, but because he was VERY funny. I have to admit, he does have a sense of humor, that one. Did you see the dinner where he had the bush impersonator come and speak WITH him?
Yeah.
Funny.

I hate arguing with my dog. It's difficult enough to have kids that want to express their opinions-- hourly. But, to have a DOG do the same?? Thats obnoxious. I found myself, this morning, arguing with crazy boxer dog. I wanted her to go outside to use the potty. When I told her to go outside, she immediately ran into her room. Yes. She does have her own room.

Technically, its my office, but she has commandeered the window seat in there... thus we call the room the dogs room. If I'm honest with you, its rather nice for her to have her own room. When the doorbell rings, she barks and runs to her room. When people come over, we tell her to "run to your room crazy boxer dog" and she does. This is also the same room that she ate the blinds in... because I forgot to raise them.

I do the Elementary school choir, and its held at 7:30 in the morning 2x a week. When I forget to pull the blinds in the dogs room... she gets a little upset. She wants to see out the window at the passing world. I guess I forgot to pull the blinds 1 too many times, because she ate the blinds.
Dumb dog.
Which leads me to my next gripe about the dog... What would compel a dog to eat a tape dispenser AND hot glue sticks? In the same day?!
I mean really.
Thats just weird.

Mom's.

I have been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a Mom. And further, what this whole Mother's Day thing is all about. I have come to the conclusion that really, Mother's Day is about teaching Children to show love to their Mothers. I have come to this conclusion by default actually. Let me explain.

I loved Mother's Day when I was a kid. I loved making things for my mom, writing her letters and telling her how wonderful she is. My sisters and I would try to make the day special for her... and then when Monday rolled around, we would go back to "normal". Being the silly, drama ridden girls that we were.

When I "grew-up" Mother's Day became sort of a painful day. I felt like I was not measuring up, ever, to that imaginary stick that was being placed next to me. I hated going to church and hearing about all the other Mothers, and all the amazing things they were doing. For me, keeping my head above water was sometimes more than I could manage. Going to church and hearing all the "ode to mothers" did not have the affect on me that I think the Men were wanting. I hated going. I hated the guilt. I knew what I wasn't doing, and hearing all the stuff that others WERE doing, made me feel guilty and very very sad.


Last year, my sisters, Mother and I went on vacation together for Mother's Day. It was a formal protest to the holiday, and it was a wonderful weekend spent just hanging out... with no guilt. I mentioned this fact to Jefe, and said that I wished I could be there again this year, because I hated Mothers Day. He said, but you weren't with any of the people who this day is for.

That's when it hit me.

This Day, this celebration of Mothers, really isn't about Me. It is about my Children. Helping them to remember, appreciate and to vocalize it.

Realizing this fact, and changing the way I think about Mother's day has helped significantly.

So.
I found this song, In My daughters Eyes, by Martina McBride. I love this song. It makes me tear up whenever I hear it sung. It says so beautifully how I feel about my children. But, the thing that I have realized is my own mother has those same feelings for me, and my sisters. When I listened to the song, trying to see it from her perspective... Well. It made me quite weepy.



I have been going through the old photos of my childhood, and seeing my Mothers eyes hit me with the fact that she had the same feelings, hopes and desires for me as a small baby, child and adolescent that I do for my children. I can look in My Mother's eyes and see my eyes... Just the same as when I look in my daughters eyes.



My Mother is a beautiful woman who is very talented. She is extremely dedicated to her beliefs. She has a firm testimony of The Lord and His plan. She loves her children and grandchildren fiercely, and does it the very best way that she knows how. I know that I haven't taken the time to appreciate her for her goodness as much as I should. And for that, I am sorry.

I love my Mother. There is nothing that she cannot do. Jefe jokes that she is the renaissance woman. If she wants something done... she just does it. She doesn't wait around for someone to help her, or show her how she just figures it out and does it.

I went off to school one day with my house looking one way and came home to walls ripped out, carpet gone, and new walls put up. She can build anything, make anything grow, out sew the best designers, and cook better than Rachael Ray.

So, this post is for you Mom (even though I know you don't read my blog). In my eyes you are a hero... A hero that is strong and wise.

I hope that in my own daughters eyes they will feel the same.

You are a good Mother, Mom and I love you.

I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to. - Dave Barry

I am crazy busy today. Thats good. It keeps me out of trouble. And away from the food!

I have all sorts of posts rumbling around in my brain. Some are written, some are just ideas. I find myself constantly writing stuff in my mind. While I do the dishes, formulating ideas, putting my thoughts to words... Finding better words . While I am driving, I think of things that I would like to tell the universe (send me a million dollars please!). I am constantly working on some sort of post in my brain. Then I have to finally just sit down and write them all out, so that I can think clearly. It's weird, I know. But, I hear the words rumbling around... waving their hands crazily as if to get my attention and vomit them out.
Eww.
That was a gross metaphor.

My cousin & I were chatting last night about blogging. She was telling me that she keeps her camera with her where ever she goes (yeah. me too) and I confessed that I have started keeping a notebook handy so that when something funny happens, or a thought pops into my brain... I can write it down to use later to blog. I'm old. So, I totally forget these amazing ideas that pop into my brain (at least they are amazing to me).

I can't keep track of stuff, and keeping lists is sort of my "thing". I will get up in the morning, and do a ton of stuff, THEN go make a list so that their is already stuff to cross off. It makes me feel more productive... and it acts as a motivator. "Wow. look at all the stuff I already got done! I totally rock today!" Then I move on to another project. It's weird, but it works.

What's on your list today?? Hopefully, its playing random 10 Friday with me!
De-lurk and post your random 10 from your MP3 player... the first 10 songs that come up on random play. It's fun! Comment if you play!

1. La La La La Lemon - Barenaked Ladies
2. Last Dollar (Fly Away) - Tim McGraw
3. One - U2
4. Don't Drink The Water (Live) - Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds
5. Simplify - Ryan Shupe & The Rubberband
6. Closer To Free - The BoDeans (they're on Prairie Home Companion this weekend! Its our favorite way to spend a Saturday night!)
7. Walk Forever By My side - The Alarm
8. Gravity - Sara Bareilles
9. Cecilia - Simon & Garfunkel
10. Bless The Broken Road - Rascal Flatts

Bonus: Home - Daughtry

It's Throwback Thursday again. I have such a hard time picking which photo I want to use. Then I get sidetracked, looking at the photos... remembering. It's always fun to walk down memory lane. I picked 2 groups today. The first on is this photo of me on my 2nd birthday. Now, what it is that caught my eye are the 2 little dolls. A blue little boy doll and a yellow little girl doll. I got a little excited when I saw this photo...


These dolls survived me, my sisters and now are lovies for my girls. The girls love to play with them... and put them with all the stuffed animals. They are the perfect size to be the zoo keeper at Thing 3's zoo... and soon Moxies zoo too!



My Dad looks like he's about 12 here. (why do all the photos from the 70's have the parents holding the babies like this?) Thing 3 wanted to know who that guy was holding Moxie... when I told her it was her Pappy, and he was holding me... She started laughing and walked out the door. I don't think she believed me. I pointed out to Thing 1 that this was her Pappy... she YELLED "Pappy!! Holy Cow!" That made me laugh. It's fun to see the kids reactions to photos of me & Jefe. I think that they think we were always old, and that we really don't know what its like to be their age. Its good for them to see us as children, and hear "our stories". You know?!
That clock back there totally steals the show... I think I want one for MY wall!

To be able to have these photos, and write the stories and memories that I have of them, is priceless. I wish I could get my parents to keep a blog, with all the old photos. I would love to hear the stories that go with all of them. Someday, they (my parents) will be gone, and all we will have is a box of photos that we know nothing about. And that, my friends, will be a tragedy!

Since we are down to the final 4, and they each get to sing twice, I decided that I would post the 2 songs that I liked the most. They could be from the same artist, or not.
But first I just have this to say... Randy!
WTH??!
You made her cry. Dirt bag!

OK. I feel better now.

Now, all I have to say is this:
Dude! David ARCHULETA!


Holy Windpipes, Batman!!
That boy can sing. Seriously sing.
His voice is like butter! Butter, I'm telling you!




Is it weird that I totally want this 17 year old to come and sing me to sleep at night? Not in some creepy, weird stalker way either.

update: thank heavens all those silly 6th grade girls either were in bed, or they finally got a clue, and sent Jason packing. That one was a no-brainer!
whew.

Hurry! Go check this out! You can enter for free toys, and today is the last day(i just found out myself). And, lets be honest. Who doesn't like free stuff?
I found this site a while ago, but always forget to check it. 5 minutes for moms... its a wonderful site. Lots of great websites for all us mommy bloggers!

Tonight, Thing 3 and I went to the store together. When she got in the car with me, this was our conversation.

Me: Oooo. It stinks in here.
Thing 3: Yeah. It's gross.
Me: I'm going to roll down the windows, ok?
T3: Thank you Jesus for windows.

My sister, islandmom has been doing this regular feature on her blog now called Soundtrack Sunday. I LOVE it! I am copying her idea, however I did not copy the "theme" for todays post. I laughed when she told me what she was planning for today, because I was planning a similar post, just a different song. I guess great minds really do think alike, eh sis?! :>)

Every Saturday, Jefe and I like to go to the local grocery store to get donuts and drinks. The bakery is right off the main entrance to this store, and I swear, they have the ovens piped right into this little area. Whenever I go in this store, I hear in my brain Homer Simpson saying "Ummmm. Donuts. Must buy donuts!"
When Jefe and I go to get these donuts, we have the same exchange with the store manager:

Him: this here young lady was one of my 6th grade students. Just 5 years ago.
Me: ha ha very funny.
Him: we both hold our age well don't we?
Me: Of Course! You look like you are about 40!
Then he will turn to Jefe and say:"Is she treating you right? Cause she's a fiesty one, this girl!"
This little exchanges is always guaranteed to happen. The comments always change, but the feeling is still there. I like this. I find it enchanting.

While we are walking out to the parking lot, Jefe will always start to sing the song "I was born in a small town. And I live in a small town..." and we get a good laugh about that.

But, its true. I was born in a small town, and frankly, I couldn't wait to get out of this small town. I wanted to see the world. Live in exotic places and eat exotic foods. I wanted nothing to do with this small town.
It was oh. so. boring.
Yet, here I am back in this small town, raising my children. Honestly, I came back kicking and screaming... at first. I was mad at Jefe and not happy about leaving the home we had, and the friends we had made.

Moving home brought mixed emotions. There were a lot of wonderful memories associated with this town, and some that I wished-- and frankly worked very hard-- to forget. However, the fact that my 6th grade teacher remembered me, and fussed over me was enchanting. The fact that I could go into this grocery store, and be guaranteed I would meet someone that I knew-- from either my past or current life -- was nice. I always run into someone I know. (no more going to the store in my sweats, baseball hat and no makeup!) Thing 1 counts how many people we run into when we are shopping. I am always telling her that I know everyone in town, so there is no way she will ever get away with anything... and she really does believe that I DO know the entire town.

So Yes. I was born in a small town. And, I left this small town for bigger and better things. Or so I thought. I did see exotic sights, and eat exotic foods and live in wonderful places. But, I have come home to this small town to raise my children, and I can honestly say that NOW I find peace and comfort in this small town.


ps. I wrote about something similar HERE and included with that post the song My Town by Montgomery Gentry. Both songs say what I am thinking and feeling.

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

Good Golly Miss Molly, its nice outside. I am seeing a walk around the block in my near future! I love to be outside! I am anxious to get planting and playing in the dirt-- I just need to figure out how to do that with Little Miss Moxie. Right now, she is attached to me. Quite literally. She loves her Mommy, and that makes me feel oh. so. good.

Thing 1 didn't win the election.

She worked her little heart out. She used to be so outgoing, then puberty hit (and unkind girls spoke) and she has been convinced that she is a dork, and that "no one gets me". It hurts my heart to see her hurting. She tried her hardest! I was am so proud of her for being willing to even try-- to be willing to put herself out there. She came home from school crying, so I just let her cry for a while. After the ugly cry subsided, we had a wonderful heart to heart. I told her that she was so brave for being willing to just try. She ran against 2 other people, and they only took the top 2... She was convinced that she probably only received 10 votes. I told her I chose to believe that she only LOST by 10 votes.

She came home from school the next day, post election blues, and was so excited. She said that more people than ever before were talking to her--- especially the KEWL boys. I told her it was because she TRIED. She had more courage than the majority of the 7th grade class! She put herself out there, and that speaks volumes to people!

She is a beautiful girl, who is too smart for her own britches! She reads more books than any teenager I know. Her vocabulary is astounding, and she is incredibly funny. When she was in 3rd grade when Saddam Huessin was captured. We were eating dinner, listening to the report, and she turned to Jefe and I and told us that she thought that he had a diabolical plan to take over the world!
Yeah.
I know!
She plays the piano naturally and beautifully. She is so kind hearted, and would never be mean to anyone on purpose. The way she cares about her siblings is wonderful. She loves them fiercely. She also fights with them fiercely, but to me that means she has passion. She is a loyal person, and She is amazing. She is my child, and Oh. How I love her.

We survived the sticking yourself out there, and dadgumit, I'll be danged if she isn't stronger for it! (you were right Laurel!) As a parent, its hard to see them try and fail. I have had to get over that word-- fail. Its such an ugly word. Just because she didn't succeed this time, doesn't mean she won't next time. She tried, and I'm proud of her!

One comment she made has had me thinking. She said "I prayed my guts out Mom, and HE didn't answer my prayers. Does that mean he's not even listening to me? This was SOO important to me!!"
I was little startled with this. I know how she feels. How many times in my life have I "prayed my guts out" for something only to not have it happen? It IS a little faith shaking, if I'm going to be honest. What does that mean, when you "pray your guts out" and nothing happens? Are you praying the wrong way? Or not saying the right things? What exactly does it mean, and further how do you explain that to your children?

I had to sit for a moment, and gather my thoughts (and say a little prayer of my own). I wasn't sure exactly what to say to her. She is trying to gain her own belief, her own knowledge of Heavenly Father. She is fragile. And she is smart... a simple, pad answer will not comfort this child. She REALLY wants to know.
So.
I said this:
"Sometimes honey, we think that the things we are praying for are the very best things for us. But sometimes, Heavenly Father has something better in mind for us. So, when we do pray for things, and they don't turn out the way WE want... we have to start thinking: 'OK. Heavenly Father must have something better in mind for me...' and then we have to start "praying our guts out" to know what that something better is."

That is not MY idea. It came from above, and it was an answer to MY prayer. I know this is little nugget is true... however, it doesn't always make things easier. But, I think if I can teach
her to know this-- and me to remember this-- we will both be better... and stronger.

Here's my random 10 Friday Folks. Come on out and play with me!

1. Bottom of Priority - Br549
2. I Can Hear The Bells - Hairspray Original Broadway Cast
3. Sister (Live at Radio City) - Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds
4. Till I Find You - Yiruma
5. Just To See You Smile - Tim McGraw
6. Crying Like A Church On Monday - New Radicals
7. Tailor Made - Colbie Caillat
8. Ain't That Right - G. Love & Special Sauce
9. Tears Dry On Their Own - Amy Winehouse
10. I Hope That I Don't Fall In Love With You - Tom Waits

Bonus: Geek In The Pink - Jason Mraz

First, my sister, ima10cow, and I were talking about who Moxie looks like. She, along with just about everyone, can not figure where she gets her great looks from. I tell them that she looks like me, but everyone just smiles and nod... as if to say "Whatever Motherboard... she so doesn't look like you, but we will nod and smile just to make you feel better!"
So.
I went and found a bunch of my baby photos and showed them to my sister.
See??
Moxie totally looks like me!
It's about freaking time too!

I was really excited to find all these photos from my childhood! I have 1 photo in particular that I am looking for, and I hope that I can find it. It's from one of my friends birthday parties, and we were all dressed up in fancy-schmancy clothes... I had it hanging on my bedroom wall for years (when I lived with my parents)... but in all the cross country moving I have done, I don't know which box its landed. I hope I didn't loose it.
Anyway.
I vaguely remember this day... it was some sort of weird dance recital. We had it in the ladys common area of her apartment complex... A little weird as I think about it now. But, hey! It was the 70's and I am totally groovin' on that ladys pants! Aren't you??

Me doing some sort of weird action to the dance we were doing. I remember one of the dances had to do with a cloud, and I got to be the cloud, because my leotard was pink.
Two of my childhood friends, Michelle and Kimberly. I recently reconnected with Michelle after more than 15 years... a long long time. And I totally don't look that cute anymore!

I have lots of others to post, with lots of great stories! I decided to do Throwback Thursday....There are lots of blogs that do a Wayback Wednesday, but I already have a regular Wednesday feature. So, making it more my own, its a Throwback Thursday. If you want to join me... go ahead. Its lots of fun to reminisce about your childhood!
Enjoy!

I found this on my porch...
Guess whats fixed?
Yup.
I am SO happy to have my REAL camera back!

Miss Moxie weighs 9lbs 7oz... she has grown out of 3 of her little night gowns!
How do I know? Because I took her to the Dr again today (mostly because she has this icky rash, that come to find out is very common here in the desert-- i wouldn't have known that since my babies were all born in a humid climate!)
Crazylady was trying to rear her ugly little head again... but I was able to evict her out rather quickly!!
:>p nanny nanny billy goat! Take that Crazylady!!

Anyone who has known me for any amount of time knows what a giant chicken I am. I know. I exude confidence (not!). But, the truth of the matter is, I am afraid. Putting myself out there is, to me, one of the most terrifying thoughts.

When I was a Sophomore in high school, I got "chosen" to be the girl to give a speech in front of the entire student body for our Welcome Back assembly. I was in the Pep Squad, and we had to do a skit... i got to be the "lucky winner" who was the one to represent the squad. Why? I still don't know. I wasn't popular by any means... but there I was, with 1 other girl, in front of the whole school. I couldn't sleep the night before the big assembly. I was terrified. I did the little dealy, but my cousin later told me that I looked like a sour puss. (umm.. thanks?)
From that point on, I practice what I have to say. I have little convo's in my head... my family totally mocks me, cause I even use facial expressions. (jefe will ask me, who you talking to motherboard? i think i'm being all stealth... but i'm not. I totally still do it!) I don't ever want to be known as a sour puss.
Seriously.

My Senior year in high school, I got the lead in the play. I was ecstatic! I worked really hard... the whole time pushing out of my mind the fact that everyone and their DOG would be looking at me, watching me, listening to me. The big night came, and I got so freaked out at one point, that mid song the lyrics just left my brain. I could not for the life of me remember what I was supposed to be singing. For a teenager that is a death sentence! For a performer, a career breaker!! (remember David Archuletta's big mess up? AND Brooke Whites on AI?? Yeah. You see what mean?!) Now, I totally over prepare. I make sure there is no need for any help from anything. Whether that be a lesson I have to teach or a song I have to sing... I prepare and prepare and prepare. I never want to feel those same feelings again.

As an adult, putting myself out there to make friends is about more than I can handle at times. I read on someone else's blog, how they wanted to hang a comment sheet around their neck. Then, after meeting someone they could leave a comment "yes. i will be your friend. you're totally funny." or "No. I'll pass. Your breath stinks." That would be so much easier for me. I can deal with comments... I actually like comments. If you don't like me, thats ok... as long as you tell me in the comments. But, this whole muddling through, sniffing each other out deal is difficult, and at times heart breaking. That's why I was so sad to leave Illinois. It took me several years to figure myself out... to finally become comfortable in my own skin. I actually feel like Illinois is more my home than the place that I was raised.... Because Illinois is where I truly found myself, and became ME.
Make sense? I had/have amazing friends back there, that I had actually made all on my own. They liked me for me... not by "default". I had worked to make them, and keep them. To start that whole process over?
Gag.

I am afraid... afraid of failing... afraid. I pretend I don't care. But, really I do. There it is for the whole world to read. Don't judge me. Please. ( but if you have to, just do it in the comments!)

Fast forward to this morning.
I spent the better part of an hour at the Junior High School... hanging campaign posters for Thing 1. She is running for class officer, and is so excited about that! When I was her age, the thoughts of doing that sent me into a cold sweat... putting myself out there like that... to be judged. Am I liked enough to be your leader? (cause, lets be honest, Junior High School elections are totally only about popularity!) I helped on lots of campaigns, but to actually do anything for me? No way.

I was torn this morning. I am SO proud of her for not being afraid to put herself out there... to just TRY. But, I felt those familiar feelings of panic. Walking those same halls, putting up her posters, I had to hold back the tears. The 12 year old in me was screaming: "What if they don't like her? What if she fails? What if this breaks her heart? What if... what if... what if..." There are a million what if's!

Would it be totally unethical to go and take down all her competitors posters? I know. It would, and I wont. But, I totally want to. I want her to succeed. I want her to win. I also know that this part of being a parent... the letting them fly all on their own part... this is the part of parenting that totally just sucks.

So. Thing 1 is putting herself out there... and she's not afraid.
She's doing it. And I'm proud of her!
I hope the 12 year old in me can not be afraid either.

I have a major phobia. Its real and causes me great angst. I get panic attacks when I think about my phobia. When I hear certain sounds that remind me of my phobia or smell certain smells... Well. Lets just say its not pretty.

I hate dentists. Really, really hate them. Despise them... LOATHE them. I actually cry when I have to go have a cavity filled.
Yes. I. Do.
I cry when the Dentist has to fill my cavities. I am a grown 36 year old woman who cries when the Dentist starts working in her mouth.

Now, if you are a dentist or know a dentist, realize that its not you PERSONALLY that I hate. I just hate having them in my mouth. MY MOUTH people. That is one of the most sensitive areas on our body, and sometimes they go drilling around in there like they are working at a rock quarry.
So, imagine my HORROR as I am reading today's morning paper and see this:

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
As I was reading the article, and noticed the photo, I did a horrified double take and uttered a rather loud "No! Freaking! Way!"
As if I didn't already have enough ammunition for the Crazylady... now this??!

MY DENTIST has been arrested? The dentist that not only has drilled in my mouth, but the mouths of my children... arrested? The Dentist that has played with my children and has given shots to my children and pain medication to me??
ARRESTED?
The same dentist that wanted to pull out 5 of my teeth and put a bridge in? (and the 2, count them TWO second opinions I got told me he was off his rocker... I didn't get them pulled. But, did I continue going to him? yes. Am I retarded? Yes. I am now slamming my head against the wall...)

Was there a lesson learned??
Absolutely! Trust your instincts! (I had a weird feeling there... I just didn't acknowledge it).
So, Yeah.
I will be changing Dentists.
Pronto.

I just read about this book on the publishers website. I absolutely LOVE Mark Twain. He is such a wonderful author, and I love how he writes! I have a deep seated love affair with the mid-west, and love books that are centered there. This is the next book that I am going to tackle.

THIS website has a fantastic interactive thing going on (not to mention some AMAZING music that I have now been listening to for the past 30 minutes... and its driving Thing 1 crazy!) From my exploration of the site, it looks like it has all sorts of things available not only for teachers to use when they teach this book, but also book clubs. When authors, and publishers alike, offer this kind of material to us the readers... Well. I just get plain giddy with excitement. I like to read books that there is commentary avaliable. That way if I really like the book, I can get more insight into what the author was thinking.
Yes. I am a total nerd.
And proud of it!

I am in the middle of this book right now, and it is wonderful. I read it several years ago... but with the amount of books I read, the story lines have a tendency to run together. I should have this one done by the beginning of next week!

Just as a side note: I love the way he describes one of the characters with asthma. Me, being an asthmatic myself, was in awe at the analogies used. He nailed the descriptions of what it feels like when you can't breathe! I forgot how wonderful these descriptions were! My Dr explained it like this: Take a deep breath, then only let half of it out. Now, try to breath in again, but only let half of it out. Do this several times. That's what its like for a person who has asthma (are you trying that now? hee hee).


I am teaching the YW at church "How Firm a Foundation", sung to its original tune of "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" (hee hee are you trying to sing it to see if it works? It does. It's hard, but it does) Our theme for girls camp this year is STaND (stand for truth and new devotion) and this song is perfect... there is a wonderful story about the Pioneer Women at Haans Mill and the 7th verse of this song. I found out that when Emma Smith put this song in the 1835 Hymn Book, (which was written back in the 1700's) she put the last 5 verses in quotation marks. She thought that the first two verses sounded like a prayer coming from the singer, and the last 5 an answer from The Lord.
I love that!
When you sing the song, with this knowledge, the song (at least for me) will take on a whole new meaning. Especially verses #3, #5 and #7 :
v3:
"Fear not I am with thee; Oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand.

v5:
When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
They dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

v7:
The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes:
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I'll never, no never, no never forsake

So, with that information, I am having the girls sing the first 2 verses to the tune of "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" then we are transitioning into the tune we now use and singing verses 3, 5 &7. It should be lovely. I hope it has the effect that I can hear in my head. That is always the difficult part. I can hear how I want it to sound... but actually making that happen is sometimes more difficult. I am just now deciding that it needs a more dramatic ending than what the written hymn offers.

My friend, Sherrie, is playing the hymn for us in church, and doing a wonderful interlude. I bet (hint hint, nudge nudge) she will come up with something dramatic for the ending?! :>)

Thats my weekend. Nothing but reading, lots of warm, wonderful sunshine and music (and hopefully a ride on the new train!). Just a very pleasant weekend. What do you have planned?

"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote." - Emo Phillips

Are you listening to anything good??

1. Far Away - Nickelback
2. Robot Rock/Oh Yeah - Daft Punk
3. Lovesick Blues - Ryan Adams
4. I Don't Trust Myself (Loving You) - John Mayer
5. Times Like These - Jack Johnson
6. The Day Before You - Rascal Flatts
7. It's All Right To Cry - Darius Rucker
8. Margaritaville - Jimmy Buffett
9. Absolutely Zero (Live) - Jason Mraz
10. A Moment Like This - Kelly Clarkson

Bonus: When The Stars Go Blue - Tim McGraw

I feel like I am going to confession: Please forgive me, for I have sinned. It's been 2 weeks, 37 hours and 19 minutes since my last confession.
I love to read Dooce. There I said it. I do. I think she is a brilliant writer! And, she is like the QUEEN of the blogosphere! The Queen people!

It's hazardous for me to read her while I am eating my mini-wheats in the mornings... she makes me laugh out loud, sometimes causing me to spray milk out my nose. Really! She is great! She is an amazing writer, fantastic photographer, and just plain funny. Angry, but funny. I have been reading her for several years now, and just totally dig her. She is the blogger that lost her job because she was blogging about her job--- and her annoying boss.

There has been a lot of hub-bub over her. She is paid, a lot of money, to blog. How much money? Well, the Wall Street Journal is reporting that she makes over $40,000 a month. A MONTH! Just blogging. She gets over 4million hits on her blog... every month. ARE YOU SERIOUS?? I loved what she said she does with the "haters"... she prints out their comments/emails and then runs over them with the car. That sounds extremely therapeutic!

She was on the local Sunday news (channel 4) this past week talking about her blog, and Fox 13 news 2 nights ago, and Channel 2 news tonight.
Next week she is going to be on Good Morning America and Frontline!
All for blogging. Wow. That is SOME gravy train she has going there!

Please pray for my sister and her baby.
Thanks.

Excuse me while I find my jaw. It's somewhere here... on the floor.

Brooke White stayed????

Sigh. Her 15 minutes was over 14 minutes ago!

I have been messing around with some of my photos on that website, picnik.com... This place is a total blast and AMAZING!!
What do you think? I could REALLY get into this I think!! I'm wearing my sling with Moxie in it, so that i have both hands free to create!
Really.
I LOVE it!
I used to scrapbook all the time, but quit when I moved here. (no fun to do by myself!) But, after messing around with this software, I think that I could really get not only into the editing portion, but the digital scrapping too.
I LOVE this!

On Sunday, when I got up from my nap, (in my defense, remember I did just have a baby!) this is what I found.

Is it just me, is this entirely TOO many cups being used in an afternoon?
Yeah.
Thats what I thought.

When I heard that it was Andrew Lloyd Webber week, I'll be honest, I cringed. Now, before the stoning begins, let me offer up my defense. I love Andrew Lloyd Webber... but really. He is SO 15 years ago. There are a plethora of other Broadway composers that they could've chosen to do a "Broadway" show. I liked Phantom, but there are so many other shows that kick Phantoms butt. Really. They could have just had a Broadway night, and let the contestants choose from all the incredible choices available!

For instance we could start with the obvious of Wicked, Rent, Mama Mia, Avenue Q, Jersey Boys, Grease, Hair Spray, The Wedding Singer, Legally Blonde (hilarious!), Shrek, Spamalot... But what about Big River, Sweeney Todd, The Producers, Joseph's Technicolor Dreamcoat, Dreamgirls, Once on this Island, or The Secret Garden (where my son's name comes from!),
Movin' Out, Boy From Oz (!), Assassins, The Drowsy Chaperon... should I keep going, or have I made my point? Andrew Lloyd Webber is great! But, he is so yesterday!
(OK. Let the stoning begin!)
Anyway. Here are my favorites...



Good Grief! I totally LOVED what he did with this song! He completely rocked the house. I got little goose bump chills when he started to sing. I wouldn't mind him singing ME to sleep every night! I've said it ump-teen times, but really his voice is like Butta!
I would really like to get the entire song for my mp3 player!



Great! Balls! of Fire!
Carly was ON fire tonight! I usually don't like her either, but she was outstanding! Thing 3 kept telling me, "this is my favorite Mama! I like this one the bestest!" Again, she could totally kick it in a Musical. She has my vote!



I usually don't like her. In the past, when I have listened to her, it was like Karaoke Hell. But, this song style is HER! No matter what, she will be a hit on Broadway! She was fun to watch, and I could tell she was really enjoying herself!

Now. That being said. My man-- my boy, David Cook. I wasn't lovin' him. He disappointed me. He hit the notes, dead on, but... it just wasn't doing it for me. Which is sad, cause I really dig him!

And then Brooke. Oh Brooke. Why? I really like her folky style... but I have to agree with Simon. Her song WAS uncomfortable. I actually yelled out "Oh Brooke! What did you do?" Then I promptly changed the channel, I was so nervous for her.
Same with Jason Castro. I really didn't like his performance. Uncomfortable was putting it mildly!
It'll be interesting to see how it all plays out!