Past Journal Entry
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Since I am sick, and have zero creative energies flowing from these veins, I decided to post one of my old journal entries that I found. I have been going through all my files on the computer, and have found several of my journal entries that never actually made it into my journal. I have always been a writer at heart. It has been my way of working through ideas or problems. If I can't verbally hash it out, then I write. I suppose it saves me thousands in therapy bills. :0) Anyway, I forgot about this until I read it. I liked it, so I decided to post it here... I hope you like it too.
Today was a beautiful day. The sun was bright, no wind, and my children were happy. I took my cute little Thing2 to pre-school, and while we were walking up the sidewalk to the playground, he took my hand and we started singing one of our family songs: "I love you, a bushel and a peck...” We stopped to examine all of the dead, gross worms, and then continued on to the playground. Right before he ran off to play, he reached up, and gave me a kiss. Then he turned and ran towards the playground, promptly wiping off that kiss. Watching him run to meet his friends, and run around the playground, my heart swelled. I was overcome with gratitude. I felt so grateful for all the blessings that were mine, and they were all non material. My gratitude came from my 3 gorgeous children, who incidentally do drive me crazy. My rowdy dog, which has totally ruined my backyard, and tracks her muddy feet everywhere. I felt grateful for my wonderful husband who works so hard to provide such a wonderful life for his family. I felt grateful to have been raised in such a loving, righteous environment. I was filled with gratitude.
All of this reminded me of an interview that I heard on NPR back in February. It was a Catholic priest who had started this organization called Homeboy Industries. He would employ the gang-bangers that were released back into society from prison. This was a profound interview for me to hear, and I have found myself thinking about it often. Hombre and I talked about it a lot after we listened to it, amazed with the unconditional love this man had for these “untouchables”. But the thing that was the most amazing was how he prayed.
He said that he prays so that his heart will be more like the Saviors. The interviewer quickly interrupted him, and said “You’re kidding, right?! I heard that you had Leukemia. Are you saying that you never prayed that God would cure you?” I thought that this was a fair question, and his response was that it never occurred to him to “tell” God what he should and should not do. “I simply prayed in gratitude, not for things.” He said. I contemplated on this, and found it quite amazing. How often do we pray for “things” and how often in our prayers are we thanking Him for “things”.
As I honestly answered this, I found it disturbing, and almost embarrassing. I was all about “thanking” Heavenly Father for the things that I had been given... but was that true gratitude? I know that I have “told” the Lord what I want, and not listened to what it is that He wants for me. According to this Catholic priest, his idea of prayer was trying to align yourself and your heart to be one with the Saviors. I have contemplated on this idea often, and have realized that I do have much to be grateful for, and they are not “material”.
I am grateful for the country that I live in. I am grateful for all of the freedoms associated with living in this country. I am grateful my husband has a job. I am grateful that I am able to see the world with eyes that work. I am grateful that I know how to read. I am grateful for my 3 children and my spazzy dog. I am grateful for my extended family, and the support and love they shower on my family. I am grateful for my health, and the health of those whom I love. I am grateful for the telephone. I am grateful. There are so many things that I could list here.
There lies the challenge... to ponder what it is that I am truely grateful for that isn’t “stuff”. Brigham Young has said that one of the greatest sins is the sin of ingratitude. I need to try this month to align myself and my heart to be one with the Saviors. I need to try to be more thankful for all of the blessings (not stuff) that the Lord has blessed me with, and listen more to what it is that the Lord would have me pray.
Today was a beautiful day. The sun was bright, no wind, and my children were happy. I took my cute little Thing2 to pre-school, and while we were walking up the sidewalk to the playground, he took my hand and we started singing one of our family songs: "I love you, a bushel and a peck...” We stopped to examine all of the dead, gross worms, and then continued on to the playground. Right before he ran off to play, he reached up, and gave me a kiss. Then he turned and ran towards the playground, promptly wiping off that kiss. Watching him run to meet his friends, and run around the playground, my heart swelled. I was overcome with gratitude. I felt so grateful for all the blessings that were mine, and they were all non material. My gratitude came from my 3 gorgeous children, who incidentally do drive me crazy. My rowdy dog, which has totally ruined my backyard, and tracks her muddy feet everywhere. I felt grateful for my wonderful husband who works so hard to provide such a wonderful life for his family. I felt grateful to have been raised in such a loving, righteous environment. I was filled with gratitude.
All of this reminded me of an interview that I heard on NPR back in February. It was a Catholic priest who had started this organization called Homeboy Industries. He would employ the gang-bangers that were released back into society from prison. This was a profound interview for me to hear, and I have found myself thinking about it often. Hombre and I talked about it a lot after we listened to it, amazed with the unconditional love this man had for these “untouchables”. But the thing that was the most amazing was how he prayed.
He said that he prays so that his heart will be more like the Saviors. The interviewer quickly interrupted him, and said “You’re kidding, right?! I heard that you had Leukemia. Are you saying that you never prayed that God would cure you?” I thought that this was a fair question, and his response was that it never occurred to him to “tell” God what he should and should not do. “I simply prayed in gratitude, not for things.” He said. I contemplated on this, and found it quite amazing. How often do we pray for “things” and how often in our prayers are we thanking Him for “things”.
As I honestly answered this, I found it disturbing, and almost embarrassing. I was all about “thanking” Heavenly Father for the things that I had been given... but was that true gratitude? I know that I have “told” the Lord what I want, and not listened to what it is that He wants for me. According to this Catholic priest, his idea of prayer was trying to align yourself and your heart to be one with the Saviors. I have contemplated on this idea often, and have realized that I do have much to be grateful for, and they are not “material”.
I am grateful for the country that I live in. I am grateful for all of the freedoms associated with living in this country. I am grateful my husband has a job. I am grateful that I am able to see the world with eyes that work. I am grateful that I know how to read. I am grateful for my 3 children and my spazzy dog. I am grateful for my extended family, and the support and love they shower on my family. I am grateful for my health, and the health of those whom I love. I am grateful for the telephone. I am grateful. There are so many things that I could list here.
There lies the challenge... to ponder what it is that I am truely grateful for that isn’t “stuff”. Brigham Young has said that one of the greatest sins is the sin of ingratitude. I need to try this month to align myself and my heart to be one with the Saviors. I need to try to be more thankful for all of the blessings (not stuff) that the Lord has blessed me with, and listen more to what it is that the Lord would have me pray.
