Soundtrack Sunday

Conference weekend is probably my favorite weekend of the year. I love the weather (it always rains), I love the food, and I love the feeling. Conference weekend is always when Fall officially starts for me, and it seems its always a sort of "re-birth" if you will as well for me. I love this time of year--fervently and passionately.

I remember many years ago, driving down a long country road to my friend Tracy's house. I was listening to a Conference CD and was thinking about my testimony. The song that came on after this particularly moving talk was this hymn. I remember that I had to pull over onto the side of the road-- there on the upper part of Annie Glidden-- and just listen. The spirit was so strong and I didn't even realize that I was crying until the tears hit my hands on the steering wheel.

It was a profound moment for me... these words were the perfect words that I had been searching for to explain my testimony. But even more profound was the fact that I was alone, on a long, dark road and the Spirit of my Father in Heaven communed with me... just me alone. And I felt it, recognized it and I remember it.

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

This is what I wish, with all my heart-- that my heart could be sealed for the courts above. I AM prone to wander, and prone to leave the God I love... Because sometimes I am a big dummy. I wish, much like the person who penned this hymn, that I could have my heart sealed! Wouldn't that be so much easier?

I remember being in the MTC, just prior to leaving on my mission and feeling a little discouraged. All the missionaries in my district had these amazing "conversion stories" and well. I didn't.
I was feeling discouraged and worried that my simple testimony wasn't good enough-- or that it wouldn't make a difference out there in the big, bad world.

I knelt to pray and asked what I was going to do, because I had nothing major to offer. I was just a simple person, with a simple testimony without the amazing conversion story... What good would I be? I wasn't even sure anymore...

That is when the Lord blessed me the greatest gift I have ever had. I heard a simple voice tell me that this simpleness was all I needed-- my testimony. And further, why was I even questioning it? I had been blessed with the gift to always know it was true.

And you know what? That is the truth. I have always known. In all my years, I can say that I have always know there is a God, that Christ was MY Savior and that the restored gospel of Jesus Christ is real. I do know this. I have always known that I can get comfort, and peace by reading the scriptures and praying. I have always known that there is life after death, and I have always known that if I wanted to know what God was thinking-- I just needed to listen to his living prophet.

Today I did.

I AM a simple person. I live a simple life and I do not require elaborate things. I live my life-- day to day- simply. However, I do know that God is real, and he is all powerful. I do know that through Jesus Christ we are all saved. I do know that the scriptures really do solve all of our problems-- if we will simply turn to them and trust in them. I do know that the answer to all of my problems and questions are only as far away as my knees are from the floor. Prayer is real-- I know it. I have felt it and I know that God hears me and is not only aware of me, but that he knows me by name.

Fancy is not my name... It's just simple. But in some small way I feel that is the basic message of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. The simpleness of the way and the easiness of it is the message of the Gospel. It is not supposed to be elaborate-- but just simple.

And so I will be content with my simple life and my simple testimony. Because you know what? I DO know.
And that is all that matters.